child. “He died Monday.”
“What happened?” Rosie demanded, startled. “I just read about him and his Feed America group last week. Was he ill?”
Peggy explained the whole situation. She could tell by the growing look of horror on her friend’s face that she didn’t mean her harsher words.
Rosie leaned forward, almost spilling her tea. “Darmus was a good man at one point. He was selfish in his quest for glory, but I know he was a good man at heart. It was a terrible way for him to die.”
“How can you say that?” Abekeni yelled.
Peggy figured he must have been listening at the door.
“Abekeni,” his mother said his name softly. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right! This man abandoned you. He never checked on you. You could have been dead for all he knew. Why should you mourn someone like that?”
“He was your father! He deserves your respect!”
Abekeni glared at her, then slammed the green door on his way out of the apartment.
“I apologize for my son. He’s young and wants the world to be a perfect place.”
Peggy explained about Rebecca’s death and Luther’s illness. “It hit Darmus very hard. You know how close he was to her.”
“Darmus always cared more about other people than he did about himself. He probably didn’t take a moment to get back in balance, either. He never did. Remember when his best friend, Julian, died? He fell apart, but he never let anyone know. He went out every night, prowling the streets. He acted like it didn’t affect him. He never wanted anyone to see his weakness.”
Peggy knew that. Darmus wanted to present a certain picture of himself to the world. He didn’t want anyone to see he wasn’t strong all the time. “I think inside he was always afraid people would think he wasn’t capable of doing whatever he was doing at that moment He spent his whole life trying to be worthy. It was hard for him to be real.”
Rosie agreed. “But he was such a gentle soul. It’s such a shame. Though he gave so much to the world and to others, he never gave anything to himself. I shared everything I was with him. He never shared himself with me. In that way, he was selfish. I hated him for that.”
Peggy sighed, and they sipped their tea in silence.
“I appreciate you taking the time and trouble to come up and tell me about Darmus.” Rosie sat back and shook her head. “It was a long time ago in some ways, but when I look at Abekeni, it’s like yesterday. Those were good days. I was careless, but I’m not sorry. I’m sorry Darmus never found happiness like I did.”
“So am I,” Peggy agreed. “Darmus never saved anything for himself. I think that’s why it hit him so hard when Rebecca died.”
They talked about their lives over lunch at a café that served food in an outdoor garden. Abekeni didn’t come with them, but Peggy thought it was just as well. However, it was unfortunate he would never know Darmus. Now he might hate him forever without realizing who his father was.
Eventually it was time for the long trip back to Charlotte. Peggy said her good-byes, and she and Rosie promised to keep in touch. After the door closed behind her, she looked at Steve. “I suppose all of that sounded a little old and maudlin to you?”
“No.” He followed her down the stairs. “It sounded like two old friends who don’t have anything in common but the past. It happens to everyone.”
Peggy was quiet on the two-hour drive back home. Steve was right. It was easy to talk to Rosie as long as they talked about the past. They both had sons. That was the only thing they had in common in the present day.
“It’s too bad she never told Darmus about their child,” Steve remarked. “A man has the right to know. I don’t know if it would have changed anything for them, but she doesn’t know, either. It could have been the turning point for him. Fatherhood changes a man.”
She glanced at him as he drove. “You sound like you have a child.”
He
“What happened?” Rosie demanded, startled. “I just read about him and his Feed America group last week. Was he ill?”
Peggy explained the whole situation. She could tell by the growing look of horror on her friend’s face that she didn’t mean her harsher words.
Rosie leaned forward, almost spilling her tea. “Darmus was a good man at one point. He was selfish in his quest for glory, but I know he was a good man at heart. It was a terrible way for him to die.”
“How can you say that?” Abekeni yelled.
Peggy figured he must have been listening at the door.
“Abekeni,” his mother said his name softly. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right! This man abandoned you. He never checked on you. You could have been dead for all he knew. Why should you mourn someone like that?”
“He was your father! He deserves your respect!”
Abekeni glared at her, then slammed the green door on his way out of the apartment.
“I apologize for my son. He’s young and wants the world to be a perfect place.”
Peggy explained about Rebecca’s death and Luther’s illness. “It hit Darmus very hard. You know how close he was to her.”
“Darmus always cared more about other people than he did about himself. He probably didn’t take a moment to get back in balance, either. He never did. Remember when his best friend, Julian, died? He fell apart, but he never let anyone know. He went out every night, prowling the streets. He acted like it didn’t affect him. He never wanted anyone to see his weakness.”
Peggy knew that. Darmus wanted to present a certain picture of himself to the world. He didn’t want anyone to see he wasn’t strong all the time. “I think inside he was always afraid people would think he wasn’t capable of doing whatever he was doing at that moment He spent his whole life trying to be worthy. It was hard for him to be real.”
Rosie agreed. “But he was such a gentle soul. It’s such a shame. Though he gave so much to the world and to others, he never gave anything to himself. I shared everything I was with him. He never shared himself with me. In that way, he was selfish. I hated him for that.”
Peggy sighed, and they sipped their tea in silence.
“I appreciate you taking the time and trouble to come up and tell me about Darmus.” Rosie sat back and shook her head. “It was a long time ago in some ways, but when I look at Abekeni, it’s like yesterday. Those were good days. I was careless, but I’m not sorry. I’m sorry Darmus never found happiness like I did.”
“So am I,” Peggy agreed. “Darmus never saved anything for himself. I think that’s why it hit him so hard when Rebecca died.”
They talked about their lives over lunch at a café that served food in an outdoor garden. Abekeni didn’t come with them, but Peggy thought it was just as well. However, it was unfortunate he would never know Darmus. Now he might hate him forever without realizing who his father was.
Eventually it was time for the long trip back to Charlotte. Peggy said her good-byes, and she and Rosie promised to keep in touch. After the door closed behind her, she looked at Steve. “I suppose all of that sounded a little old and maudlin to you?”
“No.” He followed her down the stairs. “It sounded like two old friends who don’t have anything in common but the past. It happens to everyone.”
Peggy was quiet on the two-hour drive back home. Steve was right. It was easy to talk to Rosie as long as they talked about the past. They both had sons. That was the only thing they had in common in the present day.
“It’s too bad she never told Darmus about their child,” Steve remarked. “A man has the right to know. I don’t know if it would have changed anything for them, but she doesn’t know, either. It could have been the turning point for him. Fatherhood changes a man.”
She glanced at him as he drove. “You sound like you have a child.”
He
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