Porn Star by Keith Trimm Page B

The probe does all that on its own. It
is coated in a special resin that provides complete pain relief and
is set to your exact body temperature. We don’t want you going into
shock.”
    “Just get this over with,” Dennis said and
almost on cue, the snake like machine began to squirm over to his
table and head for his anus. “This is going to suck, can you knock
me out or something? I don’t want to feel this.”
    “ Do you feel anything now?” the alien
asked.
    “ No,” Dennis replied
annoyed.
    “ It’s already eighteen inches into your
colon and you didn’t feel a thing. Don’t worry about
it.”
    “ Really?” Dennis asked relieved. “Fuck,
that wasn’t so bad.”
    “This isn’t our first time doing this,” the
alien replied.
    “How long is it going to take?”
    “Not long at all, unless we find something
worth investigating.”
    “I had spaghetti for supper last night, I
don’t think that’s very interesting, I got it out of a can.”
    “We evacuated your bowels before we entered
the probe. We don’t want our probe getting dirty and it makes
viewing much easier.”
    “When did you do that? Never mind, I don’t
want to know.”
    Then a beep was emitted from a machine on the
wall.
    “Three and half,” the alien said to another
who was typing on something.
    “Three and a half what?” Dennis asked.
    “It’s technical.”
    “Humor me,” Dennis replied.
    “It has to do with the light on the probe, I
don’t really want to get into a lengthy explanation. “
    “I just want to make sure it wasn’t three and
a half eggs that you planted inside me or some shit like that.”
    “If we were going to plant eggs inside you,
we wouldn’t put in a half an egg. That would be pointless.”
    “Have you ever planted eggs in anyone?”
    “No, that’s silly.”
    “I think we have a different view on what’s
silly. I think planting eggs in someone is very serious.”
    “I agree, now shut up and let me finish my
probe.”
    Dennis laid his head the other direction and
tried to think of something to get this anal probe off his mind. It
was difficult knowing some half alive mechanical snake was looking
around his intestines. “What are you going to do with me when this
is all done? Are you going to let me go?”
    “Depends,” the alien replied.
    “Depends on what you stupid alien mother
fucker? Speak in complete sentences!”
    “Depends on what we find and if we will be
able to re-introduce you into the wild.”
    “The wild? You watch too much Wild Kingdom.
I’m not some animal.”
    “Sure you are.”
    “No I’m not.”
    “Sure you are.”
    “No I’m not, what are we, twelve?”
    “According to your own species, you are a
mammal and a primate. Both of which are animals.”
    “I’m human.”
    “A human animal,” that alien replied
cold.
    “I’m not some bear you caught digging through
the trash that you shot with a dart and took out in the woods. I’m
a person with thoughts, a mind and a soul.”
    “I’m not debating this with you, I said if we
can, we will put you back into the wild. If not, we will chop you
up and use you for plant food.”
    Annoyed, Dennis asked, “And what would make
me unsuitable for the wild?”
    “Pissing me off for one thing,” the alien
replied.
    “Are we about done yet?” Dennis asked.
    “We were done a long time ago, the data is
being processed.”
    “Where is the snake?”
    “It’s back in the other room getting
disinfected.”
    “Can you unstrap me from the table then?”
    The alien paused and motioned for one of the
technicians to do something. Dennis could only see a little from
the corner of his eye. Then his straps loosened and he was free to
move about on the table. “Thank you,” he said stretching his
muscles. Then he noticed his ass hurt. “What the fuck? My butthole
hurts,” he said annoyed again. “You said this wouldn’t hurt.”
    “I said the procedure wouldn’t hurt, I didn’t
say there wasn’t going to be any residual