killing us. “
“No, Hank, we’ve got to show them, we’ve got to show them …”
It was the little small-town Texas girl speaking.
I gave it up.
17
Each night as I got ready to go on in, Joyce had my clothing laid out on the bed. Everything was the most expensive money could buy. I never wore the same pair of pants, the same shirt, the same shoes two nights in a row. There were dozens of different outfits. I put on whatever she laid out for me. Just like mama used to do.
I haven’t come very far, I thought, and then I’d put the stuff on.
18
They had this thing called Training Class, and so for 30 minutes each night, anyhow, we didn’t have to stick mail.
A big Italiano got up on the lecture platform to tell us where it was.
“… now there’s nothing like the smell of good clean sweat but there’s nothing worse than the smell of stale sweat …”
Good god, I thought, am I hearing right? This thing is government sanctioned, surely. This big oaf is telling me to wash under the armpits. They wouldn’t do this to an engineer or a concertmaster. He’s downgrading us.
“… so take a bath everyday. You will be graded upon appearance as well as production.”
I think he wanted to use the word “hygienics” somewhere but it simply wasn’t in him.
Then he went to the back of the lecture platform and pulled down a big map. And I mean big. It covered half the stage. A light was shone upon the map. And the big Italiano took a pointer with the little rubber nipple on the end of it like they used in grammar school and he pointed to the map:
“Now, you see all this GREEN? Well, there’s a hell of a lot of it. Look!”
He took the pointer and rubbed it back and forth along the green.
There was quite a bit more anti-Russian feeling then than there is now. China had not yet begun to flex her muscles. Vietnam was just a little firecracker party. But I still thought, I must be crazy! I can’t be hearing right? But nobody in the audience protested. They needed jobs. And according to Joyce, I needed a job.
Then he said, “Look here. That’s
Alaska!
And there
they
are! Looks almost as if they could jump across, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,” said some brainwash job in the front row.
The Italiano flipped the map. It leaped crisply up into itself, crackling in war fury.
Then he walked to the front of the stage, pointed his rubber-titted pointer at us.
“I want you to understand that we’ve got to hold down the budget! I want you to understand that EACH LETTER YOU STICK—EACH SECOND, EACH MINUTE, EACH HOUR, EACH DAY, EACH WEEK-EACH EXTRA LETTER YOU STICK BEYOND DUTY HELPS DEFEAT THE RUSSIANS! Now, that’s all for today. Before you leave, each of you will receive your scheme assignment. “
Scheme assignment. What was that?
Somebody came along handing out these sheets.
“Chinaski?” he said.
“Yeh?”
“You have zone 9.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I didn’t realize what I was saying. Zone 9 was the largest station in the city. Some guys got tiny zones. It was the same as the two-foot tray in 23 minutes—they just rammed it into you.
19
The next night as they moved the group from the main building to the training building, I stopped to talk to Gus the old newsboy. Gus had once been third-ranked welterweight contender but he never got a look at the champ. He swung from the left side, and, as you know, nobody ever likes to fight a lefty—you’ve got to train your boy all over again. Why bother? Gus took me inside and we had a little nip from his bottle. Then I tried to catch the group.
The Italiano was waiting in the doorway. He saw me coming. He met me halfway in the yard. “Chinaski?”
“Yeh?”
“You’re late.”
I didn’t say anything. We walked toward the building together.
“I’ve got half a mind to slap your wrist with a warning slip,” he said.
“Oh,
please
don’t do that, sir!
Please
don’t!” I said as we walked along.
“All right,” he said, “I’ll let you
“No, Hank, we’ve got to show them, we’ve got to show them …”
It was the little small-town Texas girl speaking.
I gave it up.
17
Each night as I got ready to go on in, Joyce had my clothing laid out on the bed. Everything was the most expensive money could buy. I never wore the same pair of pants, the same shirt, the same shoes two nights in a row. There were dozens of different outfits. I put on whatever she laid out for me. Just like mama used to do.
I haven’t come very far, I thought, and then I’d put the stuff on.
18
They had this thing called Training Class, and so for 30 minutes each night, anyhow, we didn’t have to stick mail.
A big Italiano got up on the lecture platform to tell us where it was.
“… now there’s nothing like the smell of good clean sweat but there’s nothing worse than the smell of stale sweat …”
Good god, I thought, am I hearing right? This thing is government sanctioned, surely. This big oaf is telling me to wash under the armpits. They wouldn’t do this to an engineer or a concertmaster. He’s downgrading us.
“… so take a bath everyday. You will be graded upon appearance as well as production.”
I think he wanted to use the word “hygienics” somewhere but it simply wasn’t in him.
Then he went to the back of the lecture platform and pulled down a big map. And I mean big. It covered half the stage. A light was shone upon the map. And the big Italiano took a pointer with the little rubber nipple on the end of it like they used in grammar school and he pointed to the map:
“Now, you see all this GREEN? Well, there’s a hell of a lot of it. Look!”
He took the pointer and rubbed it back and forth along the green.
There was quite a bit more anti-Russian feeling then than there is now. China had not yet begun to flex her muscles. Vietnam was just a little firecracker party. But I still thought, I must be crazy! I can’t be hearing right? But nobody in the audience protested. They needed jobs. And according to Joyce, I needed a job.
Then he said, “Look here. That’s
Alaska!
And there
they
are! Looks almost as if they could jump across, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,” said some brainwash job in the front row.
The Italiano flipped the map. It leaped crisply up into itself, crackling in war fury.
Then he walked to the front of the stage, pointed his rubber-titted pointer at us.
“I want you to understand that we’ve got to hold down the budget! I want you to understand that EACH LETTER YOU STICK—EACH SECOND, EACH MINUTE, EACH HOUR, EACH DAY, EACH WEEK-EACH EXTRA LETTER YOU STICK BEYOND DUTY HELPS DEFEAT THE RUSSIANS! Now, that’s all for today. Before you leave, each of you will receive your scheme assignment. “
Scheme assignment. What was that?
Somebody came along handing out these sheets.
“Chinaski?” he said.
“Yeh?”
“You have zone 9.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I didn’t realize what I was saying. Zone 9 was the largest station in the city. Some guys got tiny zones. It was the same as the two-foot tray in 23 minutes—they just rammed it into you.
19
The next night as they moved the group from the main building to the training building, I stopped to talk to Gus the old newsboy. Gus had once been third-ranked welterweight contender but he never got a look at the champ. He swung from the left side, and, as you know, nobody ever likes to fight a lefty—you’ve got to train your boy all over again. Why bother? Gus took me inside and we had a little nip from his bottle. Then I tried to catch the group.
The Italiano was waiting in the doorway. He saw me coming. He met me halfway in the yard. “Chinaski?”
“Yeh?”
“You’re late.”
I didn’t say anything. We walked toward the building together.
“I’ve got half a mind to slap your wrist with a warning slip,” he said.
“Oh,
please
don’t do that, sir!
Please
don’t!” I said as we walked along.
“All right,” he said, “I’ll let you
Similar Books
Five Stars: Five Outstanding Tales from the early days of Stupefying Stories
Aaron Starr, Guy Stewart, Rebecca Roland, David Landrum, Ryan Jones
