Dammit. Look at me!” Fingers clawed at the air, and his soul begged to be released.
Chapter Nine
They all stared at his headstone for what seemed like a lifetime, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, none of them ready to say their goodbyes. Wind moaned and bellowed through the ruins, rattling the broken stained glass windows of the long forgotten chapel. It set Quinn on edge, and she shuffled her feet and stared at the ground, afraid that if she looked at anyone, she would crack into a million pieces.
Marcus was the first to break the silence. Shoulders heaving, he stiffly stepped forward to face Aaron’s memorial and fell to his knees. Tremors rocked his hands; his chin trembled as he pursed his full, dark lips. Reese trembled with him, patting his shoulder, running a finger through his dark, wiry hair, whispering, soothing even as her own emotions got the best of her. Quinn bit her lip and sniffed. No crying allowed. This was a memorial and nothing more. No body, no casket, no internment.
When Jenna began singing “What If You,” one of Aaron’s favorite songs, in tribute, her clear, rich alto tones wrapped around Quinn’s heart and tugged hard. Blood, metallic and warm on her tongue, trickled from the side of her mouth where her teeth tore at her inner cheek. Each note crumbled a little more of her resistance. Aaron should be singing with Jenna, catching the harmony and weaving through the music, perfect partners. He’d survived the car crash that killed his mother and sister, survived an attempted suicide, only to drown for the sake of saving her. An ultimate act of heroism she didn’t deserve. And worse, he died not knowing how she really felt. Empty grave, empty soul.
A wail erupted from Marcus’s throat that echoed through Quinn’s bones. She wanted to comfort him, share his pain, but something held her back. No right to mourn with him when she was the reason for his torment.
Jenna knelt on the other side of Marcus, linking her arm with Reese’s around his back, finishing the song in soft overtones into his ear, the three of them freely mourning. They didn’t invite her into their grief, and she didn’t intrude. Instead, she stood apart, an outsider.
“This isn’t your fault.” Jenna directed her statement to Marcus, but something about the way she stressed the word your , made Quinn squirm. Jenna didn’t have to say it. Quinn knew perfectly well whose fault it was.
“Jenna’s right. You did everything you could to save him.” Reese stroked his back and kissed his cheek. “Quinn’s here because of you. We could have lost them both. You’re a hero.”
Quinn wanted to say something, to agree, but every time she started to speak, her mouth turned dry as burnt toast.
Marcus shook his head and balled his fist. “I’m no hero.” He pulled something shiny from his suit pocket, a round golden medal on a red ribbon. His hand shook as he rubbed his swimming champion medallion between his thumb and finger. “He’s the true hero.” He placed the trophy next to the guitar pick.
“You’re both heroes,” Jenna added, looking sidelong at Quinn through long, dark eyelashes.
Quinn didn’t know what they wanted her to say, didn’t even know what she wanted to say, so she stared at the ground instead. Words, thoughts, feelings jumbled up inside her, and she didn’t know how to start piecing them together. Her head throbbed, and she rubbed the scab of her healing scalp wound.
Chaos and tragedy had engulfed her friends while she was stuck between, unconscious in this realm and listening to Azrael drone on about destiny and choice in another. Every precious second she wasted debating on that rock, Aaron struggled to keep her afloat, his energy draining away, fighting for his life while she selfishly debated if she had anything left to live for.
I’ll never forget the desperation in Marcus’s screams. Reese’s words echoed through her soul, and she choked back a sob.
Regret
Chapter Nine
They all stared at his headstone for what seemed like a lifetime, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, none of them ready to say their goodbyes. Wind moaned and bellowed through the ruins, rattling the broken stained glass windows of the long forgotten chapel. It set Quinn on edge, and she shuffled her feet and stared at the ground, afraid that if she looked at anyone, she would crack into a million pieces.
Marcus was the first to break the silence. Shoulders heaving, he stiffly stepped forward to face Aaron’s memorial and fell to his knees. Tremors rocked his hands; his chin trembled as he pursed his full, dark lips. Reese trembled with him, patting his shoulder, running a finger through his dark, wiry hair, whispering, soothing even as her own emotions got the best of her. Quinn bit her lip and sniffed. No crying allowed. This was a memorial and nothing more. No body, no casket, no internment.
When Jenna began singing “What If You,” one of Aaron’s favorite songs, in tribute, her clear, rich alto tones wrapped around Quinn’s heart and tugged hard. Blood, metallic and warm on her tongue, trickled from the side of her mouth where her teeth tore at her inner cheek. Each note crumbled a little more of her resistance. Aaron should be singing with Jenna, catching the harmony and weaving through the music, perfect partners. He’d survived the car crash that killed his mother and sister, survived an attempted suicide, only to drown for the sake of saving her. An ultimate act of heroism she didn’t deserve. And worse, he died not knowing how she really felt. Empty grave, empty soul.
A wail erupted from Marcus’s throat that echoed through Quinn’s bones. She wanted to comfort him, share his pain, but something held her back. No right to mourn with him when she was the reason for his torment.
Jenna knelt on the other side of Marcus, linking her arm with Reese’s around his back, finishing the song in soft overtones into his ear, the three of them freely mourning. They didn’t invite her into their grief, and she didn’t intrude. Instead, she stood apart, an outsider.
“This isn’t your fault.” Jenna directed her statement to Marcus, but something about the way she stressed the word your , made Quinn squirm. Jenna didn’t have to say it. Quinn knew perfectly well whose fault it was.
“Jenna’s right. You did everything you could to save him.” Reese stroked his back and kissed his cheek. “Quinn’s here because of you. We could have lost them both. You’re a hero.”
Quinn wanted to say something, to agree, but every time she started to speak, her mouth turned dry as burnt toast.
Marcus shook his head and balled his fist. “I’m no hero.” He pulled something shiny from his suit pocket, a round golden medal on a red ribbon. His hand shook as he rubbed his swimming champion medallion between his thumb and finger. “He’s the true hero.” He placed the trophy next to the guitar pick.
“You’re both heroes,” Jenna added, looking sidelong at Quinn through long, dark eyelashes.
Quinn didn’t know what they wanted her to say, didn’t even know what she wanted to say, so she stared at the ground instead. Words, thoughts, feelings jumbled up inside her, and she didn’t know how to start piecing them together. Her head throbbed, and she rubbed the scab of her healing scalp wound.
Chaos and tragedy had engulfed her friends while she was stuck between, unconscious in this realm and listening to Azrael drone on about destiny and choice in another. Every precious second she wasted debating on that rock, Aaron struggled to keep her afloat, his energy draining away, fighting for his life while she selfishly debated if she had anything left to live for.
I’ll never forget the desperation in Marcus’s screams. Reese’s words echoed through her soul, and she choked back a sob.
Regret
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