Private Affairs by Jasmine Garner Page B

I met in the cafeteria to get our first taste of college food.
    The university was predominately white. When we entered the cafeteria, it seemed like the few minority students huddled to themselves on a handful of tables in the corner of the room. Kev and I sat at a table near them, but didn’t talk to them.
    We shared a Philly cheese steak and fries, each of us taking a bite from our halves at the same time.
    “This shit is nasty. We have to eat this for four years?” Kevin said.
    “If it means being out of the house and away from my mother, I’ll take it.”
    “Better than the meal she tried to make for us this weekend.”
    My mom, in one of her rare attempts to be a parent, made us dinner before we headed off to college.
    “Some would say it was her way of saying she was going to miss me, but I think she was trying to kill me.”
    We burst out laughing. She baked a chicken, and it was nowhere near done. And she’d used expired milk in the mashed potatoes. Kevin ate more of it than I did. He did it out of politeness, but I wasn’t losing a foot of my lower intestine just to make her happy.
    When I opened my eyes as I calmed down from my laughter, they honed in on the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. He sat alone at a table on the other side of the room. The boy had jet black hair that flopped over his forehead, partially covering his eyes, but I could still tell was he looking at me just as hard as I was looking at him.
    “What’s wrong with that white boy?” Kevin said, finally seeing what I was seeing.
    “Nothing; he looks quite fine to me,” I said, one side of my lips curling into a smile as our stare held.
    He laced his fingers together in front of him, sending a smile back to me.
    Kevin dropped his sandwich on the tray. “Oh, no. Don’t get mixed up with these rich white boys, Keisha. They’re all looking to fuck a black girl so they can brag to their friends. We’re here to learn, to end up better than our parents.”
    I shrugged, taking a bite of a fry. “Doesn’t mean I can't have a little fun.”
    I’d never been with anyone outside of my race before; never thought about it. Most of the white boys in our neighborhood spent too much of their time trying to act black instead of being themselves; it wasn’t a turn on for me.
    But this boy had a different look to him. I wanted to stare into his eyes up close. I wanted to hear what his voice sounded like. College was about trying new things, right?
    I gasped when a hot blond sat next to him, breaking our gaze.
    “See? That’s who he wants to be with,” Kevin said.
    My half smile dropped. It was a nice thought.
    After driving for almost twenty minutes, I pulled into a bar, something I’d never really done before. Alcohol was starting to become a part of my life. Funny, I didn’t start drinking until Wes re-entered my life; another sign he was no good for me.
    I grabbed my phone, ignoring Kevin’s millionth call and deleting Wes’s millionth text message. To prevent looking like a drunk, I called Amira. She arrived ten minutes later.
    “I didn’t think it was possible, but you look even worse than you did this morning. The guy again?”
    I shook my head, taking a sip of my wine. It wasn’t as good as the one Steven had, but it was good enough.
    “Nope. Another one.”
    “Wow, when did you get so interesting?” she asked as she sat down on the barstool next to me.
    “I don’t want to be interesting. I just want to be happy.”
    The bartender took her drink order and asked me if I wanted another. I gazed down and frowned.
    “No, thanks,” I told him.
    I’d always despised drinking. I hated the way it made me feel, I hated not being in control of my actions. My mother drank a lot. I saw what drunkenness looked like, and I didn’t want to look like her any more than I already did.
    I pushed my half-full glass away and stared at my friend.
    “He broke my heart a long time ago. But I still love him. I can still see us together. But he’s