Purple Daze by Sherry Shahan Page B

lecturing about navigating
life through enlightenment , explaining it’s possible
to be en-lightened without reading a tome or spending
a hundred years in a monastery.
    Â 
    He says that according to existentialists,
most problems stem from worrying about
the past and future.
    Â 
    I worried, still worry, about Phil—Maybe
I never loved him as much as he loved me.
Otherwise why did I stop writing?
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    Now I worry that my feelings were parataxic distortion —
meaning, not based on Phil’s true attributes,
but on a fantasy boyfriend I conjured in my mind.
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    I stay after class to talk to the professor about it.
He says, “Never let learning get in the way of loving .”

Da Nang Vietnam
    Inbound provisions:
Hot ammunition, maybe
even misplaced mail?

Phil
    Cheryl,
    Â 
    A grunt just walked by.
    Â 
    KILL THEM ALL,
LET GOD SORT IT OUT!
    Â 
    scrawled on his flak jacket.
    Â 
    Put my dog tags in a boot.
If I hit a mine or a tripwire
that’s all that’ll be left.
    Â 
    Love, Phil
    Â 
    P.S. Forgot to explain POGs:
People Other than Grunts.
P.P.S. Just finished The Carpetbaggers .
First classic I ever read.

Cheryl
    mom elopes with nuts & chews,
a drive-up ceremony in las vegas
    Â 
    since he owns a grocery store
we move to a new house with
tv dinners stacked in the freezer
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    salisbury steak is my favorite
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    mom and I used to get our periods
together.
    Â 
    now we’re a week apart

Ziggy
    My motel sign:
    Â 
    VACANCY

Chu Lai Vietnam
    Gooks dig holes.
Two-feet deep.
Shove in Punji sticks—
18 inches of bamboo,
ends hacked to a point,
dipped in shit.
    Â 
    Stuck in holes,
camouflaged.
Neat little booby trap—
not the C-cup type.
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    Fuckin’ crazy.

Medical Evacuation
    From the standpoint of methods in which
soldiers are wounded—mines, high-velocity
missiles, booby-traps—and the locale of the
injured—paddy fields and along waterways
where human and animal excretion is common—
    Â 
    Vietnam is a dirty war
    Â 
    Due to the lack of secure road networks in
combat areas, med-evac choppers are keystone.
    Â 
    Whole blood packaged in Styrofoam™ containers
permits storage of 48–72 hours in the field,
in anticipation of casualties.
    Â 
    Greater care of the wounded results from rapid
evacuation, ready availability of whole blood,
well-established hospitals, and advanced surgical
techniques.

Mickey
    USS Hermitage LSD-34 Non-Virgin Islands
    Â 
    Dear Cheryl,
    Â 
    I can’t believe you broke up with Don!
    Â 
    I’m still going out with that Chinese girl.
Her father works her to death,
I swear, 13 hours a day, 7 days a week.
They own a Chinese restaurant.
    Â 
    I sort of feel sorry for them because
they don’t get hardly any business.
Her name is Yen, I’m serious.
She’s from Hong Kong.
    Â 
    She’s not exactly a girlfriend because
she’s married and all.
Her husband is in Vietnam.
    Â 
    Love, Mickey
    Â 
    P.S. Tell Ziggy I won’t be in the States for a while,
so she can stay stoned a little longer.

Ziggy
    I sneak in the side door of the gas station,
drop a quarter in the cigarette machine,
    Â 
    and wonder if I have the strength
to push the right button,
straighten out my life.
    Â 
    Mick says I’m a nymphomaniac
when I’m really just in love.
    Â 
    Before I quit school, I told Ms. Hawes
that I moved in with my brother, and
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    she took me to the teacher’s lounge,
poured two cups of coffee, gave me a
dime and the number of a church
where I could get help.
    Â 
    I spent it on a glazed donut.

Phil
    Dear Cheryl,
    Â 
    We started packing maxi pads
in our helmets to plug sucking
chest wounds.
    Â 
    Another thing—
war flicks don’t know shit about dying.
No one staggers in slow motion crying,
“Mama!”
    Â 
    They drop like puppets with
their strings cut.
Zapped.
Offed.
Lit up.
Dead as fucking door knobs.
    Â 
    I never prayed before I came here.
    Â 
    Love,