tightened on the steering wheel.
“You know what? I’ll get you back right now.” I reached into my wallet, pulling out one of the twenty dollar bills from the previous night’s tip money. “Thanks so much for thinking of me. I appreciate it.”
“Oh, no problem.”
I rolled the window up before Wendy could continue speaking and make me feel like even less of a human being than I already did. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of watching me crumble, though. She wasn’t worth it.
Did they all think I was such a mess? Did they talk about me behind my back? Did they talk about my daughter, too? How her mother could barely make ends meet? I’d thought I hid my situation pretty well, all things considered. I still drove the Lexus, only because Eric had put it in my name when he bought it—one of the only generous things he’d ever done throughout the course of our relationship. I tried to keep myself up as best I could. Emma’s clothes were always clean, always in good shape. She had plenty of food, always went on field trips even if I had to scrimp and save well in advance to cover the fees. What was I missing?
I didn’t have time to think about it, since Emma walked toward the car only moments later. I climbed out, all smiles, bending down to gather her up in my arms. It was a challenge, since the pain had returned, but I needed to hold my baby. I only hoped she didn’t ask me to lift her into her car seat.
“Mmm, you smell so good.” I took a deep breath, catching the smell of her hair. “Like cookies. I wanna eat you up!”
“No, Mama!” Emma giggled, making the little problems and worries in my head all but disappear. She had a way of doing that for me.
“Come on, big girl. We need to get you home so I can cuddle you forever and ever.”
“You don’t have to work tonight?”
“No way! This is my day off! We’re gonna hang out all night and have your favorite dinner and watch a movie on the couch.” Emma practically jumped for joy. It was so easy to make her happy. I hoped she managed to keep that sense of joy no matter what life threw at her.
The whole way home, Emma prattled on and on in the back seat. “And then, Mrs. DeSilva did this…and Priscilla and Madison aren’t talking to each other…and then Mrs. DeSilva did that…and then…” I was perfectly happy to let her talk until she was blue in the face. As long as she was happy.
“Hey, Mama?”
“Yes, baby.”
“You were asleep when I woke up this morning.”
“I know, baby, but I kissed you while you were asleep. Mama was so tired when she got home that she just had to sleep.”
“Because you worked all night long.”
“That’s right. It was a very, very long night.” You have no idea, my love, and I hope you never do.
“Mama, are we poor?”
“What?” I nearly slammed on the brakes, I was so stunned by the suddenness of her question. “What do you mean? Why are you asking me that?”
Emma looked down at her shoes. Shoes that needed to be replaced. “Priscilla said her mommy said we were poor.”
Damn that Wendy . I wanted to have a word or two with her majesty the next time we ran into each other. “What else did Priscilla say?”
“Nothing. Just that we were poor. Are we, Mama?” Emma’s chin quivered. I glanced in the mirror to find my baby on the verge of tears, and there was nothing I could do about it. No, bullies never went away.
“No, baby, we’re not poor. We’re just having a tough time right now.”
“What does poor mean?”
I could have laughed. The kid didn’t even know what the word meant. She probably knew enough about it from the way that little brat Priscilla said it, though. If ever a little girl was destined to grow up like her mommy, it was Priscilla. “Poor means we don’t have a lot of money. Like, we have to save up for things. And we can’t take vacations like we
“You know what? I’ll get you back right now.” I reached into my wallet, pulling out one of the twenty dollar bills from the previous night’s tip money. “Thanks so much for thinking of me. I appreciate it.”
“Oh, no problem.”
I rolled the window up before Wendy could continue speaking and make me feel like even less of a human being than I already did. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of watching me crumble, though. She wasn’t worth it.
Did they all think I was such a mess? Did they talk about me behind my back? Did they talk about my daughter, too? How her mother could barely make ends meet? I’d thought I hid my situation pretty well, all things considered. I still drove the Lexus, only because Eric had put it in my name when he bought it—one of the only generous things he’d ever done throughout the course of our relationship. I tried to keep myself up as best I could. Emma’s clothes were always clean, always in good shape. She had plenty of food, always went on field trips even if I had to scrimp and save well in advance to cover the fees. What was I missing?
I didn’t have time to think about it, since Emma walked toward the car only moments later. I climbed out, all smiles, bending down to gather her up in my arms. It was a challenge, since the pain had returned, but I needed to hold my baby. I only hoped she didn’t ask me to lift her into her car seat.
“Mmm, you smell so good.” I took a deep breath, catching the smell of her hair. “Like cookies. I wanna eat you up!”
“No, Mama!” Emma giggled, making the little problems and worries in my head all but disappear. She had a way of doing that for me.
“Come on, big girl. We need to get you home so I can cuddle you forever and ever.”
“You don’t have to work tonight?”
“No way! This is my day off! We’re gonna hang out all night and have your favorite dinner and watch a movie on the couch.” Emma practically jumped for joy. It was so easy to make her happy. I hoped she managed to keep that sense of joy no matter what life threw at her.
The whole way home, Emma prattled on and on in the back seat. “And then, Mrs. DeSilva did this…and Priscilla and Madison aren’t talking to each other…and then Mrs. DeSilva did that…and then…” I was perfectly happy to let her talk until she was blue in the face. As long as she was happy.
“Hey, Mama?”
“Yes, baby.”
“You were asleep when I woke up this morning.”
“I know, baby, but I kissed you while you were asleep. Mama was so tired when she got home that she just had to sleep.”
“Because you worked all night long.”
“That’s right. It was a very, very long night.” You have no idea, my love, and I hope you never do.
“Mama, are we poor?”
“What?” I nearly slammed on the brakes, I was so stunned by the suddenness of her question. “What do you mean? Why are you asking me that?”
Emma looked down at her shoes. Shoes that needed to be replaced. “Priscilla said her mommy said we were poor.”
Damn that Wendy . I wanted to have a word or two with her majesty the next time we ran into each other. “What else did Priscilla say?”
“Nothing. Just that we were poor. Are we, Mama?” Emma’s chin quivered. I glanced in the mirror to find my baby on the verge of tears, and there was nothing I could do about it. No, bullies never went away.
“No, baby, we’re not poor. We’re just having a tough time right now.”
“What does poor mean?”
I could have laughed. The kid didn’t even know what the word meant. She probably knew enough about it from the way that little brat Priscilla said it, though. If ever a little girl was destined to grow up like her mommy, it was Priscilla. “Poor means we don’t have a lot of money. Like, we have to save up for things. And we can’t take vacations like we
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