can’t wait.
Sometimes I cannot believe that David and I have been dating for five months now. Well, I’m not sure you would actually call what we do “dating,” per se, but still, we’ve been together since the fall. No one knows about us though, because my dad would kill me if he found out I have a boyfriend. And he would really flip out if he knew I was sneaking out my window nearly every night to meet up with him. The funny thing is that David and I don’t really actually do anything together. Mostly we just smoke cigarettes and talk about shit. He’s only kissed me a couple of times. His dad seems like a bigger asshole than mine, so sometimes I think he just wants to get the hell out of his house. Things there seem pretty out of control, and I know how much David likes to keep his life in check. His mom died when he was just a little kid, and it kind of seems as if he’s never gotten over it. I think it must have really sucked.
School is pretty shitty for me. I hate this town, I hate my teachers, I hate the principal, and I especially hate the other kids. David is the only one who matters. I met him right after I moved here. It was the end of summer, and he was hanging out with his friends on the basketball court at school. My mom and dad made me go to some stupid new student orientation, but right after they dropped me off, I left. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of the meeting before it even started. I went outside and sat on the bleachers to have a smoke. I watched them play basketball for a while, and when they were done, David came over to bum a cigarette. The rest is history.
I can’t believe how crazy this is. I look over the edge of the bridge and imagine myself doing this for real. Life would have to be really, really fucking messed up for me to do something like that, though. Even though my dad is a hard-ass and my mom is Martha Fucking Stewart, I know that it’s not going to be like this forever. I know that when I go to college, everything will change. Life will be different, and I can leave all this high school bullshit behind me.
David is really serious about pulling off our plan. As usual, he’s thought of every detail. We even stopped at the hardware store on our way over here, and he made me run in and buy a bunch of rope and some sandbags to make it look as if I’m actually going to do this. And I am trying to make myself cry, which is way harder than it seems. If it doesn’t sound real, my dad won’t believe it, and he’ll probably just stay home. For the plan to work, my dad has to come to the bridge and find me here, with the sandbags on my feet, ready to jump. I muster up some tears and lay it on thick.
“Hi, Dad. I just wanted to say goodbye,” I cry into my cell phone. “I’m on Clawsen’s Bridge right now, and I’m going to jump. Don’t bother trying to save me because you can’t. Goodbye.” By the time I hang up, I am laughing my ass off, but David is serious as stone. But then again, he always is. He needs to lighten up.
David makes me use the rope to tie the sandbags on to my own ankles. He says he’s afraid he’ll hurt me if he does it himself. Plus, when my dad comes, it has to look as if I put them on there without any help. David is going to run and hide in the bushes across the street and videotape the whole thing so we can watch it later for laughs. I finally get the rope knotted tight enough, and now we just have to wait for my dad. I only live like ten minutes from here, so he should be here really soon.
David is standing behind me now, and he is joking that he’s going to push me off. He grabs my hips and gives me a little shove. Jesus. My body bends forward, but he snatches my shoulders and pulls me back just before I fall. I punch him in the arm and tell him he’s a dickhead.
He must be really excited about this because he’s smiling. He’s got his hands on my hips again, joking that he’s going to do it for real this time. I smack his
Sometimes I cannot believe that David and I have been dating for five months now. Well, I’m not sure you would actually call what we do “dating,” per se, but still, we’ve been together since the fall. No one knows about us though, because my dad would kill me if he found out I have a boyfriend. And he would really flip out if he knew I was sneaking out my window nearly every night to meet up with him. The funny thing is that David and I don’t really actually do anything together. Mostly we just smoke cigarettes and talk about shit. He’s only kissed me a couple of times. His dad seems like a bigger asshole than mine, so sometimes I think he just wants to get the hell out of his house. Things there seem pretty out of control, and I know how much David likes to keep his life in check. His mom died when he was just a little kid, and it kind of seems as if he’s never gotten over it. I think it must have really sucked.
School is pretty shitty for me. I hate this town, I hate my teachers, I hate the principal, and I especially hate the other kids. David is the only one who matters. I met him right after I moved here. It was the end of summer, and he was hanging out with his friends on the basketball court at school. My mom and dad made me go to some stupid new student orientation, but right after they dropped me off, I left. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of the meeting before it even started. I went outside and sat on the bleachers to have a smoke. I watched them play basketball for a while, and when they were done, David came over to bum a cigarette. The rest is history.
I can’t believe how crazy this is. I look over the edge of the bridge and imagine myself doing this for real. Life would have to be really, really fucking messed up for me to do something like that, though. Even though my dad is a hard-ass and my mom is Martha Fucking Stewart, I know that it’s not going to be like this forever. I know that when I go to college, everything will change. Life will be different, and I can leave all this high school bullshit behind me.
David is really serious about pulling off our plan. As usual, he’s thought of every detail. We even stopped at the hardware store on our way over here, and he made me run in and buy a bunch of rope and some sandbags to make it look as if I’m actually going to do this. And I am trying to make myself cry, which is way harder than it seems. If it doesn’t sound real, my dad won’t believe it, and he’ll probably just stay home. For the plan to work, my dad has to come to the bridge and find me here, with the sandbags on my feet, ready to jump. I muster up some tears and lay it on thick.
“Hi, Dad. I just wanted to say goodbye,” I cry into my cell phone. “I’m on Clawsen’s Bridge right now, and I’m going to jump. Don’t bother trying to save me because you can’t. Goodbye.” By the time I hang up, I am laughing my ass off, but David is serious as stone. But then again, he always is. He needs to lighten up.
David makes me use the rope to tie the sandbags on to my own ankles. He says he’s afraid he’ll hurt me if he does it himself. Plus, when my dad comes, it has to look as if I put them on there without any help. David is going to run and hide in the bushes across the street and videotape the whole thing so we can watch it later for laughs. I finally get the rope knotted tight enough, and now we just have to wait for my dad. I only live like ten minutes from here, so he should be here really soon.
David is standing behind me now, and he is joking that he’s going to push me off. He grabs my hips and gives me a little shove. Jesus. My body bends forward, but he snatches my shoulders and pulls me back just before I fall. I punch him in the arm and tell him he’s a dickhead.
He must be really excited about this because he’s smiling. He’s got his hands on my hips again, joking that he’s going to do it for real this time. I smack his
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