the Poorer
sort, who had no Idea of ‘France’ save what they read in the Papers ?
All the same, the Realisation that I was about to become a Pig of greater Note was reinforced the next Day when there arrived a Tailor who declared he had been Sent for by the Proprietors . He duly took my Measurements, just as he would for any Human client, and returned the next morning with a Waistcoat of fine red Silk , with a pattern of small Paisley
leaves. This garment was so well Fitted, that it seemed almost as Natural to me as my own Skin, only so much more Elegant , that I could not resist strutting about in it, and to this day it
remains my most Prized possession. Thusly attired, I was attended that same Afternoon by a Painter, who was preparing a number of large canvas Banners, to be hung about the place depicting
my varied Talents . Finally, as if all these other fittings-up for Fame were not enough, I was visited by Mr Sweet’s assistant, who gently Trimmed my Hoofs, then applied
something described on its container as ‘Carr & Martin’s Hoof Liniment’. The process of Beautification was completed with an application of ‘Black Jack Enamel’, a
sort of shoe-polish for Hoofs, which made them quite nearly as black and glossy as any piece of Human footwear. Had I the Ability, I should have almost wished to ask for a Mirror, in which I
might Behold my new Appearance , but once the assistant was satisfied with his work, he Extinguished his lantern and left me in the dim light of the Inn-yard, where I could only Imagine
it.
The next morning we went directly to the Amphitheatre after our Breakfast, where Rehearsals were already in progress. Each of the performers was established in a small, roped-in area to Practise
while they awaited their Cue , and I was heartily Amazed at the variety of Oddities there Displayed . There was a troupe of Tight-rope walkers, led by a Monsieur Bussart, along with a
Tumbler by the name of Monsieur Redigé : these were apparently the Artists in Residence of Astley’s, and conducted themselves as though they Owned the place. In the next
area there was a Signor Scaglioni , whose dancing Dogs were a sight to behold as they cavorted, leapt and executed neat pirouettes. Near them, an exceedingly thin young gentleman by
the name of Herr Hautknochen stood rehearsing his Singing Duck routine, which consisted of a variety of Comic songs, at key points of which he would Squeeze his Duck, which quite
understandably let forth a loud and melodious Honk in response. Last, there was a most remarkable Woman, who went by the name of Signora Spagniola ; she was practising an Act that
required her to Dance with two Swords tied to her Feet, along with two Eggs —which remained miraculously Unbroken—all the while balancing on her Head a pair of Flower-pots
upon a Board!
Amidst all these Novelties, there was a large troupe of Horses and Trick-riders, who were the Mainstay of the Establishment. Their performances were apparently so Frequent that they
scarcely required any Rehearsal, and so they mostly stood about, idly executing handstands and adjusting the colourful trappings of their Mounts . Mr Sweet was their Director, and the Impresario of the place; it was he who was responsible for the entire evening’s programme, and who Announced each act as it was about to Appear. The word was given out that,
whatever one did, one should not Cross him: he was known to drop an Act from his Bills at the least offence. For him, there was not one of us—excepting the Horses, of
course—which was not Disposable ; the public came to see ‘Astley’s’ and the name implied a certain Quality, a certain Class of Entertainment, which was far more
Valuable to its proprietors than any mere Pig, or dog, or Duck and his Man.
We found our own place was to be at the end of the first part of the Bill, which was generally reserved for newcomers so that an element of Surprise would mitigate the risk of
sort, who had no Idea of ‘France’ save what they read in the Papers ?
All the same, the Realisation that I was about to become a Pig of greater Note was reinforced the next Day when there arrived a Tailor who declared he had been Sent for by the Proprietors . He duly took my Measurements, just as he would for any Human client, and returned the next morning with a Waistcoat of fine red Silk , with a pattern of small Paisley
leaves. This garment was so well Fitted, that it seemed almost as Natural to me as my own Skin, only so much more Elegant , that I could not resist strutting about in it, and to this day it
remains my most Prized possession. Thusly attired, I was attended that same Afternoon by a Painter, who was preparing a number of large canvas Banners, to be hung about the place depicting
my varied Talents . Finally, as if all these other fittings-up for Fame were not enough, I was visited by Mr Sweet’s assistant, who gently Trimmed my Hoofs, then applied
something described on its container as ‘Carr & Martin’s Hoof Liniment’. The process of Beautification was completed with an application of ‘Black Jack Enamel’, a
sort of shoe-polish for Hoofs, which made them quite nearly as black and glossy as any piece of Human footwear. Had I the Ability, I should have almost wished to ask for a Mirror, in which I
might Behold my new Appearance , but once the assistant was satisfied with his work, he Extinguished his lantern and left me in the dim light of the Inn-yard, where I could only Imagine
it.
The next morning we went directly to the Amphitheatre after our Breakfast, where Rehearsals were already in progress. Each of the performers was established in a small, roped-in area to Practise
while they awaited their Cue , and I was heartily Amazed at the variety of Oddities there Displayed . There was a troupe of Tight-rope walkers, led by a Monsieur Bussart, along with a
Tumbler by the name of Monsieur Redigé : these were apparently the Artists in Residence of Astley’s, and conducted themselves as though they Owned the place. In the next
area there was a Signor Scaglioni , whose dancing Dogs were a sight to behold as they cavorted, leapt and executed neat pirouettes. Near them, an exceedingly thin young gentleman by
the name of Herr Hautknochen stood rehearsing his Singing Duck routine, which consisted of a variety of Comic songs, at key points of which he would Squeeze his Duck, which quite
understandably let forth a loud and melodious Honk in response. Last, there was a most remarkable Woman, who went by the name of Signora Spagniola ; she was practising an Act that
required her to Dance with two Swords tied to her Feet, along with two Eggs —which remained miraculously Unbroken—all the while balancing on her Head a pair of Flower-pots
upon a Board!
Amidst all these Novelties, there was a large troupe of Horses and Trick-riders, who were the Mainstay of the Establishment. Their performances were apparently so Frequent that they
scarcely required any Rehearsal, and so they mostly stood about, idly executing handstands and adjusting the colourful trappings of their Mounts . Mr Sweet was their Director, and the Impresario of the place; it was he who was responsible for the entire evening’s programme, and who Announced each act as it was about to Appear. The word was given out that,
whatever one did, one should not Cross him: he was known to drop an Act from his Bills at the least offence. For him, there was not one of us—excepting the Horses, of
course—which was not Disposable ; the public came to see ‘Astley’s’ and the name implied a certain Quality, a certain Class of Entertainment, which was far more
Valuable to its proprietors than any mere Pig, or dog, or Duck and his Man.
We found our own place was to be at the end of the first part of the Bill, which was generally reserved for newcomers so that an element of Surprise would mitigate the risk of
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