listen to the Admiral's compliments and allow myself to believe that I was the most desirable girl in England.
But there was another side to my nature—that shrewd observer who had never allowed any event of importance to be passed over. I hesitated while I brooded on what the future might bring and at last I came to my conclusions. I would not be fourteen until September. I had a great deal to learn and I was in a most unusual position.
I took up my pen and wrote to Thomas Seymour telling him that I had neither the years nor the inclination to think of marriage at this time, and I was surprised that anyone should mention the subject to me at a time when I was entirely taken up with mourning my father to whom I owed so much. I intended to devote at least two years to wearing black for him and mourning him; and even when I arrived at years of discretion, I wished to retain my liberty without entering into any matrimonial engagement.
When I had written it, I read it through once and hastily sealed it. Then it was dispatched.
I had moved with my household to the Dormer Palace of Chelsea which my father had built after he had possession of the Manor of Chelsea. It wasa charming place with gardens running down to the river. I was looking forward to being there with my stepmother for we had always been good friends and I was delighted that the Council had decided that she should have charge of me.
I was feeling very excited. Ever present was the realization that I could have a glorious future and in the meantime I would have the attentions of the most handsome man at Court. It was a pleasant prospect. But my good sense insisted that it would be folly to agree to any engagement with Thomas Seymour. If the Council were against it—and I felt sure that Somerset would never agree to it—we should both be in trouble. The Admiral was a daring sailor and might be ready to risk that sort of trouble for the sake of a crown. I was not. I was vulnerable because I was so young but I had acquired one bit of wisdom inasmuch as I realized I was too young and inexperienced to put myself in a dangerous situation. Perhaps I was by nature cautious— the opposite I was sure of my dashing Admiral. But I had seen what folly women exposed themselves to for love.
Kat tried to persuade me to accept him with constant references to his charms. He was adventurous both at sea and in the ladies” boudoirs. “You'll have a very accomplished lover, my lady,” she said, and although I told her that I most certainly would not have him and had written him to tell him so, she did not believe me. “My lord is not a man to take no for an answer,” she declared. “We shall see…”
She talked and I listened—I must admit, with mounting excitement.
“He'll come courting, I know it,” she said.
And I realized that although I was averse to marriage, to be courted seemed to me a rather pleasant and exciting pastime.
My stepmother was delighted to receive me.
I complimented her on her appearance for she looked younger than I had ever seen her look before and there was a brightness about her. She looked like a girl though she must be thirty-four or -five years old. Then I considered how she had lived as Queen of England, the butt of my father's irritations; I thought of her dressing that leg which must have been revolting at times, of the manner in which he used to put it on her lap and expect her to nurse it; I remembered most of all that hysterical fit of weeping in her bedchamber when she must have felt the axe poised ready to descend on her defenseless neck. No wonder she had become young again.
What an example of the joys of single blessedness! For the first time in her life she was free. She said how happy she was to have me with her. We would sit together over our embroidery and she would talk to me of the Reformed Faith just as she did when Edward, Jane Grey and I were in the royal household. It was not such dangerous talk now for the Reformed
But there was another side to my nature—that shrewd observer who had never allowed any event of importance to be passed over. I hesitated while I brooded on what the future might bring and at last I came to my conclusions. I would not be fourteen until September. I had a great deal to learn and I was in a most unusual position.
I took up my pen and wrote to Thomas Seymour telling him that I had neither the years nor the inclination to think of marriage at this time, and I was surprised that anyone should mention the subject to me at a time when I was entirely taken up with mourning my father to whom I owed so much. I intended to devote at least two years to wearing black for him and mourning him; and even when I arrived at years of discretion, I wished to retain my liberty without entering into any matrimonial engagement.
When I had written it, I read it through once and hastily sealed it. Then it was dispatched.
I had moved with my household to the Dormer Palace of Chelsea which my father had built after he had possession of the Manor of Chelsea. It wasa charming place with gardens running down to the river. I was looking forward to being there with my stepmother for we had always been good friends and I was delighted that the Council had decided that she should have charge of me.
I was feeling very excited. Ever present was the realization that I could have a glorious future and in the meantime I would have the attentions of the most handsome man at Court. It was a pleasant prospect. But my good sense insisted that it would be folly to agree to any engagement with Thomas Seymour. If the Council were against it—and I felt sure that Somerset would never agree to it—we should both be in trouble. The Admiral was a daring sailor and might be ready to risk that sort of trouble for the sake of a crown. I was not. I was vulnerable because I was so young but I had acquired one bit of wisdom inasmuch as I realized I was too young and inexperienced to put myself in a dangerous situation. Perhaps I was by nature cautious— the opposite I was sure of my dashing Admiral. But I had seen what folly women exposed themselves to for love.
Kat tried to persuade me to accept him with constant references to his charms. He was adventurous both at sea and in the ladies” boudoirs. “You'll have a very accomplished lover, my lady,” she said, and although I told her that I most certainly would not have him and had written him to tell him so, she did not believe me. “My lord is not a man to take no for an answer,” she declared. “We shall see…”
She talked and I listened—I must admit, with mounting excitement.
“He'll come courting, I know it,” she said.
And I realized that although I was averse to marriage, to be courted seemed to me a rather pleasant and exciting pastime.
My stepmother was delighted to receive me.
I complimented her on her appearance for she looked younger than I had ever seen her look before and there was a brightness about her. She looked like a girl though she must be thirty-four or -five years old. Then I considered how she had lived as Queen of England, the butt of my father's irritations; I thought of her dressing that leg which must have been revolting at times, of the manner in which he used to put it on her lap and expect her to nurse it; I remembered most of all that hysterical fit of weeping in her bedchamber when she must have felt the axe poised ready to descend on her defenseless neck. No wonder she had become young again.
What an example of the joys of single blessedness! For the first time in her life she was free. She said how happy she was to have me with her. We would sit together over our embroidery and she would talk to me of the Reformed Faith just as she did when Edward, Jane Grey and I were in the royal household. It was not such dangerous talk now for the Reformed
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