dumbfounded, and was scared I’d been raped. He asked if somebody had done something to me. As I listened to his worried footsteps pacing around the house, I lay on the floor and laughed. It was something much worse than rape, Dad, what happened to your daughter. You have no idea.
I’ve never told anybody about this. I couldn’t tell Toshi or Kirarin, or even Terauchi. Not even Boku-chan or Dahmer. I don’t know why. I never set foot in the 2-chome district again. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of the place itself, but I was afraid of the creatures who masqueraded as people. And I became afraid of myself for stirring up such hatred in others. I knew I liked girls and couldn’t figure out who I was, yet that transvestite, grabbing my breasts, made me realize I’m also a woman. That summer I totally lost my confidence. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t such a shock when Dahmer suddenly disappeared.
* * *
It was exactly eleven when I got home. Dad was waiting outside for me, looking unhappy. He had on a loose-fitting green T-shirt, chino shorts, and Nike sandals, and was smoking. My old man is a freelance photographer. When Mom was still alive he was hardly ever at home, always out “on location,” or so he said. But after she died he announced that he would work at his Tokyo studio. He didn’t go out drinking so much, and never came home later than eleven. His income went down, which he complained about. To me this was a pain. I just wanted him to leave me alone, but ever since I got beat up he couldn’t tell the difference between keeping an eye on me and standing guard.
“Hey, where’s your bike?”
“I lent it to Toshi.”
“How come?’
“Hers got stolen. It’s just for the summer, so she can go to her cram school.”
I slipped past him and went inside. Our Maltese, Teddy, ran over and started jumping on my legs. Teddy, my mom’s dog, is our family treasure. I picked him up and started to go upstairs. I didn’t see Grandpa and Grandma. They must have gone to sleep a long time before. Or maybe they were holding their breath, monitoring the conversation between me and Dad. Since they’re my mom’s parents they don’t really care much about Dad. Their hopes and sympathies are all directed at me. Which is a royal pain, too, and kind of disgusting. Every night I said a little prayer that they might die soon.
“Toshi’s the one who lives next door to the boy who killed his mother, right? You know him, don’t you?”
Dad was obviously curious. He was the kind of guy who followed the news closely and picked up on things. I hated that, too.
“Nah, I don’t know him.”
“What do you mean, ‘Nah, I don’t know him’? That’s how you should talk to your father? I really don’t like the way young people talk these days.”
“Sorry…”
I knew that if this went on too long, Dad would blow a fuse, so I meekly apologized. I also wanted to talk to Worm while he was taking a break.
Resignedly, Dad said, “Go to bed soon.”
“Um.”
I went upstairs, put Teddy down, went into my room, and locked the door. I listened and heard Dad go into his bedroom. I lay down on my bed and took out my cell phone. Worm picked up after one ring.
“Hello. It’s me.”
Worm breathed a sigh of relief.
“Are you still at the convenience store?”
“No, I stood out too much. I’m lying in the parking lot out in back. I can see tons of stars.”
“Are you tired?”
“Um,” he said, sounding like a child.
“Text messaging’s pretty convenient, isn’t it?”
Worm had never had a cell phone up till now.
“Yeah, it sure is,” he agreed, and stopped. “But this one’s an old model and you can only send a hundred and twenty-eight letters at a time.”
“Yeah, guess so.”
Which is why the phone was cheap. I was a little annoyed, though Worm didn’t seem to pick up on this.
“It’s okay, you’re the only one I’m gonna text.”
“But you talked to Kirarin, too, didn’t
I’ve never told anybody about this. I couldn’t tell Toshi or Kirarin, or even Terauchi. Not even Boku-chan or Dahmer. I don’t know why. I never set foot in the 2-chome district again. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of the place itself, but I was afraid of the creatures who masqueraded as people. And I became afraid of myself for stirring up such hatred in others. I knew I liked girls and couldn’t figure out who I was, yet that transvestite, grabbing my breasts, made me realize I’m also a woman. That summer I totally lost my confidence. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t such a shock when Dahmer suddenly disappeared.
* * *
It was exactly eleven when I got home. Dad was waiting outside for me, looking unhappy. He had on a loose-fitting green T-shirt, chino shorts, and Nike sandals, and was smoking. My old man is a freelance photographer. When Mom was still alive he was hardly ever at home, always out “on location,” or so he said. But after she died he announced that he would work at his Tokyo studio. He didn’t go out drinking so much, and never came home later than eleven. His income went down, which he complained about. To me this was a pain. I just wanted him to leave me alone, but ever since I got beat up he couldn’t tell the difference between keeping an eye on me and standing guard.
“Hey, where’s your bike?”
“I lent it to Toshi.”
“How come?’
“Hers got stolen. It’s just for the summer, so she can go to her cram school.”
I slipped past him and went inside. Our Maltese, Teddy, ran over and started jumping on my legs. Teddy, my mom’s dog, is our family treasure. I picked him up and started to go upstairs. I didn’t see Grandpa and Grandma. They must have gone to sleep a long time before. Or maybe they were holding their breath, monitoring the conversation between me and Dad. Since they’re my mom’s parents they don’t really care much about Dad. Their hopes and sympathies are all directed at me. Which is a royal pain, too, and kind of disgusting. Every night I said a little prayer that they might die soon.
“Toshi’s the one who lives next door to the boy who killed his mother, right? You know him, don’t you?”
Dad was obviously curious. He was the kind of guy who followed the news closely and picked up on things. I hated that, too.
“Nah, I don’t know him.”
“What do you mean, ‘Nah, I don’t know him’? That’s how you should talk to your father? I really don’t like the way young people talk these days.”
“Sorry…”
I knew that if this went on too long, Dad would blow a fuse, so I meekly apologized. I also wanted to talk to Worm while he was taking a break.
Resignedly, Dad said, “Go to bed soon.”
“Um.”
I went upstairs, put Teddy down, went into my room, and locked the door. I listened and heard Dad go into his bedroom. I lay down on my bed and took out my cell phone. Worm picked up after one ring.
“Hello. It’s me.”
Worm breathed a sigh of relief.
“Are you still at the convenience store?”
“No, I stood out too much. I’m lying in the parking lot out in back. I can see tons of stars.”
“Are you tired?”
“Um,” he said, sounding like a child.
“Text messaging’s pretty convenient, isn’t it?”
Worm had never had a cell phone up till now.
“Yeah, it sure is,” he agreed, and stopped. “But this one’s an old model and you can only send a hundred and twenty-eight letters at a time.”
“Yeah, guess so.”
Which is why the phone was cheap. I was a little annoyed, though Worm didn’t seem to pick up on this.
“It’s okay, you’re the only one I’m gonna text.”
“But you talked to Kirarin, too, didn’t
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