door. I don’t remember putting it there. I don’t remember coming inside at all.
The faintest hint of malt liquor lingers on my sweatshirt and I bring it to my nose and inhale. It’s fresh. I scrub the sleep from my eyes and shake my head as I glance at the clock. It’s only six am. I haven’t had nearly enough sleep. But I get up anyway and pad down the hall to mom’s room. I just want to be near her now. And forget everything else.
Chapter Five
Sasha
I t’s my day off, and even though I resolved that I wasn’t going to take the pills unless I was working, I’m too tired to function. I can’t get to sleep anymore. It doesn’t come, no matter how exhausted I am.
When my head hits the pillow, I just lay there and think about my Ma. About what my life is going to be like when she’s gone. I had to call Emily and tell her it was time to come home. It’s only made everything that much more real.
That’s what my excuse is when I reach into my purse to pull out the pill bottle. I’ve been full of excuses lately. But I don’t really give a shit either. I’m doing the best that I can to get through the situation.
Only when I pull the bottle from my purse, I stare at it in confusion. Because it’s empty. The lid is screwed on tight, and the pills are gone. It doesn’t make any sense. But my suspicion only grows. Instinctively, my eyes dart to the jacket hanging over my doorknob. The same one I was wearing last night up on the roof. I know I didn’t walk back down here by myself. And I know that Ronan’s scent didn’t just magically appear on my sweatshirt.
And lastly, I know these frigging pills didn’t just get rid of themselves.
But none of it makes any sense. Why would he be here? And an even better question is, how did he know about the pills? No matter which way I spin it, none of it makes a bit of sense.
These questions are all left unanswered when a knock sounds at the front door. I quickly scoop up the empty container and throw it in the garbage before doing a quick once over in the hall mirror.
I’m not expecting anybody, but on occasion the neighbors drop in to see how Ma’s doing. That’s who I assume it is. So when I open my door and find Lachlan Crow standing there, words fail me. He’s technically my boss, and soon to be the new underboss of the MacKenna Syndicate, if the gossip around the club is correct.
But he’s never paid me a house visit before, so when I find him standing here now, I have to admit it makes me a little nervous. I don’t know him that well, but his girlfriend Mack is totally cuckoo for this guy. He’s always been respectful towards me, but it doesn’t change who he is. He’s a mafia guy, through and through. For that reason alone, I try to avoid him.
But I adore Mack. And after recent events with Donovan, I owe her a lot.
When Blaine died, I thought that I was free. But I quickly learned that in this life, you only trade in one form of chains for another. Donovan soon took on the role of Blaine and filled his shoes easily. He wasn’t as violent, but his threats were as real. He just wanted to get off. And I was right back where I started. I did what I had to in order to keep my secret. In order to protect Ronan too. He killed Blaine because of me, and there was no way I was ever going to rat him out to the syndicate.
But my loyalty didn’t make it any easier to accept what was being doled out to me. So when Mack came along, she took me by surprise. Most of the other dancers at the club hated me.
I had been on my own for so long that I forgot what it was like to have friends. Even though Emily and I used to be close, we drifted apart during the time I was with Blaine. Mack was the first real friend I’d had in so long. She reminded me so much of the girl that I used to be. Before Blaine, and before cancer, and Donny and every hard ball that life threw at me.
I used to be strong like her. I used to feel like I could take on the
The faintest hint of malt liquor lingers on my sweatshirt and I bring it to my nose and inhale. It’s fresh. I scrub the sleep from my eyes and shake my head as I glance at the clock. It’s only six am. I haven’t had nearly enough sleep. But I get up anyway and pad down the hall to mom’s room. I just want to be near her now. And forget everything else.
Chapter Five
Sasha
I t’s my day off, and even though I resolved that I wasn’t going to take the pills unless I was working, I’m too tired to function. I can’t get to sleep anymore. It doesn’t come, no matter how exhausted I am.
When my head hits the pillow, I just lay there and think about my Ma. About what my life is going to be like when she’s gone. I had to call Emily and tell her it was time to come home. It’s only made everything that much more real.
That’s what my excuse is when I reach into my purse to pull out the pill bottle. I’ve been full of excuses lately. But I don’t really give a shit either. I’m doing the best that I can to get through the situation.
Only when I pull the bottle from my purse, I stare at it in confusion. Because it’s empty. The lid is screwed on tight, and the pills are gone. It doesn’t make any sense. But my suspicion only grows. Instinctively, my eyes dart to the jacket hanging over my doorknob. The same one I was wearing last night up on the roof. I know I didn’t walk back down here by myself. And I know that Ronan’s scent didn’t just magically appear on my sweatshirt.
And lastly, I know these frigging pills didn’t just get rid of themselves.
But none of it makes any sense. Why would he be here? And an even better question is, how did he know about the pills? No matter which way I spin it, none of it makes a bit of sense.
These questions are all left unanswered when a knock sounds at the front door. I quickly scoop up the empty container and throw it in the garbage before doing a quick once over in the hall mirror.
I’m not expecting anybody, but on occasion the neighbors drop in to see how Ma’s doing. That’s who I assume it is. So when I open my door and find Lachlan Crow standing there, words fail me. He’s technically my boss, and soon to be the new underboss of the MacKenna Syndicate, if the gossip around the club is correct.
But he’s never paid me a house visit before, so when I find him standing here now, I have to admit it makes me a little nervous. I don’t know him that well, but his girlfriend Mack is totally cuckoo for this guy. He’s always been respectful towards me, but it doesn’t change who he is. He’s a mafia guy, through and through. For that reason alone, I try to avoid him.
But I adore Mack. And after recent events with Donovan, I owe her a lot.
When Blaine died, I thought that I was free. But I quickly learned that in this life, you only trade in one form of chains for another. Donovan soon took on the role of Blaine and filled his shoes easily. He wasn’t as violent, but his threats were as real. He just wanted to get off. And I was right back where I started. I did what I had to in order to keep my secret. In order to protect Ronan too. He killed Blaine because of me, and there was no way I was ever going to rat him out to the syndicate.
But my loyalty didn’t make it any easier to accept what was being doled out to me. So when Mack came along, she took me by surprise. Most of the other dancers at the club hated me.
I had been on my own for so long that I forgot what it was like to have friends. Even though Emily and I used to be close, we drifted apart during the time I was with Blaine. Mack was the first real friend I’d had in so long. She reminded me so much of the girl that I used to be. Before Blaine, and before cancer, and Donny and every hard ball that life threw at me.
I used to be strong like her. I used to feel like I could take on the
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