Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend by Becca Ann Page A

out.” I put the bag back on the shelf and go for the traditional Nacho Cheese.
    “I don’t want to be the party pooper,” she says reaching for the chips in my hand. “You can get what you want. I’m just a tag-a-long.”
    I laugh. “Tanner is a Nacho Cheese guy. And you’re not tagging along, Hayles. I invited you.”
    She gives me a wide grin. “Tanner has good taste buds. I like him already.”
    “You don’t know him?” That’s a shocker. Tanner’s one of those people seems like everyone knows. Football team, popular girlfriend, friends with pretty much everyone ‘cause he’s so loud.
    Hayley shakes her head. “I know of him. But I don’t know him, know him, you know?” She giggles. “I think I just said ‘know’ about fifty times.”
    I laugh… again—always around her, really. “You are so wonderfully bizarre.”
    Her face gets a little red, and I think mine does too. I guess I said that out loud.
    “You haven’t seen anything yet.” She stops mid-walk right before we get to the checkout stand. “Hmm…”
    “What?”
    “Want to do something fun?”
    Her eyes tell me this is something more embarrassing than fun. “Uh…”
    She snatches the bag from my hands and stomps to the cashier. What the hell?
    “Excuse me,” she says to the lady, who sets down the magazine she was reading. “I was hoping you could help settle an argument.”
    I’ve never heard Hayley sound annoyed before. She’s always upbeat and funny without being ‘theater geek’ irritating. Now she sounds pissed.
    The cashier’s eyebrows shoot to the sky, but she answers, “Okay, hun. What’s the problem?”
    “You see my friend over there?” Hayley points right at me, and if I wasn’t beet red before, I am now. “Wel l, come here, Brody so you can argue your side too.”
    Holy hell.
    Why am I walking over there?
    “Okay, so here’s the story,” she huffs and turns back to the cashier. “It’s my birthday next weekend, right? And Brody here wanted to get some stuff for the party. Now, we’ve been friends for like ever , so he should know I hate Nacho Cheese Doritos.”
    The cashier nods and glan ces at me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond. This is pretty much past the point of embarrassing.
    “And do you see this?” Hayley grabs the chips and shoves them in the poor woman’s face. Now I’m trying not to laugh. “He goes straight for them. Know why?” She doesn’t let the cashier answer. “Because they’re his favorite!”
    The chips go flying back on the counter as Hayley turns on me. Her mouth is all about the fake rage over the stupid chips, but her eyes are laughing. “How selfish is that? For my birthday, I think I’m okay to request Ranch Doritos. Even though you hate them.”
    She turns back to the cashier. “Right?”
    The poor woman’s eyes switch back and forth between the two of us, and she squeaks, “Maybe get both?”
    Hayley slams her fist on the counter and both me and cashier victim jump back. “That’s not the point!” Her voice cracks. She’s crying. Crying! Over chips.
    Bravo.
    I’m a horrible actor, but I’m goin’ to try my best here. This is sort-of fun.
    I shove my hand in my pocket and toss the cash on the counter. Taking the bag of chips and Hayley’s wrist, I say, “Well, it’s my birthday too. We’re sharing this party, remember? And if I’m buyin’ , I’m getting what I want.”
    The look on the cashier’s face almost makes me lose it and bust out laughing right there. “You can keep the change.”
    I tug Hayley toward the door. She yanks from my grasp but follows me. When we get to the car, her face breaks open into a huge smile , and she claps.
    “Well played, Brody. Holy freakin’ baby cows. That was full of awesomesauce!”
    I want to grab her in one of those amazing hugs again. This girl is full of awesomesauce.
    Once we stop our ridiculous laughter, I open the door and ask over the frame as she plops down, “Care to explain why we