do you know about it, Rebecca?"
"Because I read about it on Mommy's computer, didn't I?" Rebecca said boldly.
We reeled back from her. Mommy's computer was in Mommy's private study. We almost never went in there; we rarely used her computer the few times we did go in there; and none of us ever went in there alone.
"So what?" Rebecca dared us. "That night I was doing chin-ups on the chandelier and all those other exercises, I got bored and needed a break. So I went in Mommy's private study and began looking through those files we'd looked at that one time. And when I got bored with that, I began surfing the Internet. That's when I learned about the Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. And that is why I now need two thousand dollars. So Petal and I can go to Finland and compete. I'm sure we can win this year."
Even though Petal was already lying on the ground, she still managed to faint at this.
Mrs. Pete immediately began fanning Petal, and soon Petal was revived. We weren't sure if Petal was happy about this.
"But Petal's not your wife! " Georgia objected.
"So?" There was Rebecca's shrug again. "Not everyone carries his own wife in a Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. If your wife's too heavy, you're allowed to borrow your neighbor's wife, or even search for a wife farther afield if need be. I'm confident that over time Petal and I can beat the record set by Margo Uosong of Estonia."
"Who is Margo Uosong?" Jackie wondered.
"Only the person who holds the record of having won five Wife-Carrying Championships," Rebecca said, "that's who."
My, it sounded like Rebecca had done her research for once.
"Give us enough years competing," Rebecca went on, "I'm sure we can top that."
"I don't think so," Marcia said thoughtfully.
"How can you say that?" Rebecca said. "Did you not see the ease with which we negotiated the two dry obstacles and the one water obstacle? I'm sure we'd have the fastest time."
"Maybe so," Marcia agreed, "but you still can't compete."
"You mean outside of the fact that I would never give Rebecca two thousand dollars to do this crazy thing?" Annie said.
"Yes," Marcia said, "even outside of that. You see," she said, turning to Rebecca, "you'd be immediately disqualified."
"I'd be what? " Rebecca was outraged. And given her newfound strength, that was a scary thing to see.
"Petal certainly would," Marcia said calmly. "I'm familiar with the rules set forth by the International Wife-Carrying Competition Rules Committee, and in addition to the rules about length of the obstacle course and the rules about which wives are available and all that other stuff, it gives a minimum age for the wife. It doesn't say anything about the age of the wife-carrier, but the wife has to be over seventeen years of age."
Apparently, Rebecca hadn't done her research quite thoroughly enough.
"But that's insane!" Rebecca objected. "You mean I have to wait more than nine years to compete? But I'm ready now!"
"That may be the case," Marcia said. "But there's another rule that disqualifies you."
"And that is?" Rebecca demanded, scowling furiously.
"The rules clearly state," Marcia said, "and I quote, 'All participants must have fun.'" Marcia paused, cast a meaningful look at the supine Petal. "Look at Petal. Does Petal look like she's having fun?"
We looked. We had to admit, she did not.
"So you see—" Marcia started, but Rebecca cut her off.
"Fine," Rebecca said with a huff. Then she reached down, scooped Petal off the ground, and threw her over her shoulder in what we now recognized as the fireman's carry.
"Excuse me? Rebecca?" Petal poked Rebecca in the shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"Why, we need to practice some more, of course," Rebecca said.
"Practice?" Petal echoed. "But I thought Marcia just disqualified me."
"We still have to practice," Rebecca said, "so we'll be ready in a little over nine years' time to compete. I'll bet we could really be ready after nine years of practice."
"I don't think—" Petal
"Because I read about it on Mommy's computer, didn't I?" Rebecca said boldly.
We reeled back from her. Mommy's computer was in Mommy's private study. We almost never went in there; we rarely used her computer the few times we did go in there; and none of us ever went in there alone.
"So what?" Rebecca dared us. "That night I was doing chin-ups on the chandelier and all those other exercises, I got bored and needed a break. So I went in Mommy's private study and began looking through those files we'd looked at that one time. And when I got bored with that, I began surfing the Internet. That's when I learned about the Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. And that is why I now need two thousand dollars. So Petal and I can go to Finland and compete. I'm sure we can win this year."
Even though Petal was already lying on the ground, she still managed to faint at this.
Mrs. Pete immediately began fanning Petal, and soon Petal was revived. We weren't sure if Petal was happy about this.
"But Petal's not your wife! " Georgia objected.
"So?" There was Rebecca's shrug again. "Not everyone carries his own wife in a Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. If your wife's too heavy, you're allowed to borrow your neighbor's wife, or even search for a wife farther afield if need be. I'm confident that over time Petal and I can beat the record set by Margo Uosong of Estonia."
"Who is Margo Uosong?" Jackie wondered.
"Only the person who holds the record of having won five Wife-Carrying Championships," Rebecca said, "that's who."
My, it sounded like Rebecca had done her research for once.
"Give us enough years competing," Rebecca went on, "I'm sure we can top that."
"I don't think so," Marcia said thoughtfully.
"How can you say that?" Rebecca said. "Did you not see the ease with which we negotiated the two dry obstacles and the one water obstacle? I'm sure we'd have the fastest time."
"Maybe so," Marcia agreed, "but you still can't compete."
"You mean outside of the fact that I would never give Rebecca two thousand dollars to do this crazy thing?" Annie said.
"Yes," Marcia said, "even outside of that. You see," she said, turning to Rebecca, "you'd be immediately disqualified."
"I'd be what? " Rebecca was outraged. And given her newfound strength, that was a scary thing to see.
"Petal certainly would," Marcia said calmly. "I'm familiar with the rules set forth by the International Wife-Carrying Competition Rules Committee, and in addition to the rules about length of the obstacle course and the rules about which wives are available and all that other stuff, it gives a minimum age for the wife. It doesn't say anything about the age of the wife-carrier, but the wife has to be over seventeen years of age."
Apparently, Rebecca hadn't done her research quite thoroughly enough.
"But that's insane!" Rebecca objected. "You mean I have to wait more than nine years to compete? But I'm ready now!"
"That may be the case," Marcia said. "But there's another rule that disqualifies you."
"And that is?" Rebecca demanded, scowling furiously.
"The rules clearly state," Marcia said, "and I quote, 'All participants must have fun.'" Marcia paused, cast a meaningful look at the supine Petal. "Look at Petal. Does Petal look like she's having fun?"
We looked. We had to admit, she did not.
"So you see—" Marcia started, but Rebecca cut her off.
"Fine," Rebecca said with a huff. Then she reached down, scooped Petal off the ground, and threw her over her shoulder in what we now recognized as the fireman's carry.
"Excuse me? Rebecca?" Petal poked Rebecca in the shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"Why, we need to practice some more, of course," Rebecca said.
"Practice?" Petal echoed. "But I thought Marcia just disqualified me."
"We still have to practice," Rebecca said, "so we'll be ready in a little over nine years' time to compete. I'll bet we could really be ready after nine years of practice."
"I don't think—" Petal
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