to comfort her, to make all of this go away, to try and re-create a little of the magic we were just having, but I know that’s a bad move. That’ll start a bitch war that could escalate way out of control in an instant. Tonya has never been one to play fair, and I don’t want that rained down on Jem.
“What do you want, Tonya?” I ask coolly, standing up to face her.
“I want to know if you two saddos are getting back together.” She sneers as if we’re pathetic, as if the idea of us being a couple disgusts her.
“Why?” Jem snaps back. “What the hell is it to you?” I can’t help but feel proud of her in that moment. She’s standing up for herself, for us, against a woman who really knows how to make people feel terrible about themselves. The Jem I once knew was too shy to even consider doing that. She’s obviously been doing some growing up during the time we were last together—I hadn’t realized it until now. There’s a person inside of her that I really need to get to know. I just hope she gives me the time and opportunity to do it.
“Because, you silly little girl,” Tonya turns her tone unnecessarily nasty. “I like to keep track of which skanks my ex-boyfriend is sleeping with now. It’s fun to keep tabs on him.”
“What?” Jem gasps, completely stunned by this news. “Ex?” I feel my heart fall into my shoes as I watch her fall apart. I should have told her. Why didn’t I tell her? If she already knew about my past, then she could have come up with a witty reply. Now she’s just a total mess, and it’s entirely my fault. What an idiot! I want to slap myself for being so stupid.
“Oh, did he not tell you?” Tonya laughs mirthlessly, knowing she has me. “Before you came along, Nate had a whole other life.” She leans in closer to Jem until their faces are practically touching, and I’m too shocked to do anything about it. I feel like I’m frozen stiff with terror, like a goddamn statue. “A wild one at that.”
Oh God. She did not just say that…did she? I lost my virginity to Tonya before meeting Jem, which is what she’s bringing up now. It was way more of an awkward fumble than anything wild, but that doesn’t matter now. The damage has been done. I don’t think Jem will ever look at me again. I’m pretty sure that she’s still a virgin, saving herself for the right man, and although she probably knows I’m not exactly innocent now, I can’t imagine she’s going to be impressed that I never told her the truth about me the last time around. This could not be going any worse for me, and I’m standing here, silent, like a fool!
Say something! I will myself, but my voice box doesn’t seem to agree.
“I…” Jem starts, gearing up to say something, but I can already see the tears rolling down her face, preventing her from getting anything rational out. I’m internally screaming at myself to stand up for us against Tonya and to at least attempt to defend my actions, to speak the truth out loud, but I feel frozen on the spot, completely helpless.
My silence as Jem glances at me does even more damage than anything Tonya has said. It suggests to her that I’m admitting it all, and that I have nothing to say for myself. I watch her rise slowly, then race off from the deck and out of my life, probably forever.
“Now that the stick-in-the-mud is gone…” Tonya sways her hips seductively as she walks towards me. There’s no denying that this girl is hot as hell, but I’ll never go near her again. Her personality is ugly, and in a way that reflects on the outside. She’s definitely not the one for me, no matter what happens. “Let’s get back down to business.”
She grabs my face in her hands and begins to sit on my knee, but I quickly shove her off, just as I should have done every time she behaved this way around me before. “Get off, Tonya,” I snap at her. “Have some dignity and leave me alone.”
“It’s only a matter of time,” she calls out
“What do you want, Tonya?” I ask coolly, standing up to face her.
“I want to know if you two saddos are getting back together.” She sneers as if we’re pathetic, as if the idea of us being a couple disgusts her.
“Why?” Jem snaps back. “What the hell is it to you?” I can’t help but feel proud of her in that moment. She’s standing up for herself, for us, against a woman who really knows how to make people feel terrible about themselves. The Jem I once knew was too shy to even consider doing that. She’s obviously been doing some growing up during the time we were last together—I hadn’t realized it until now. There’s a person inside of her that I really need to get to know. I just hope she gives me the time and opportunity to do it.
“Because, you silly little girl,” Tonya turns her tone unnecessarily nasty. “I like to keep track of which skanks my ex-boyfriend is sleeping with now. It’s fun to keep tabs on him.”
“What?” Jem gasps, completely stunned by this news. “Ex?” I feel my heart fall into my shoes as I watch her fall apart. I should have told her. Why didn’t I tell her? If she already knew about my past, then she could have come up with a witty reply. Now she’s just a total mess, and it’s entirely my fault. What an idiot! I want to slap myself for being so stupid.
“Oh, did he not tell you?” Tonya laughs mirthlessly, knowing she has me. “Before you came along, Nate had a whole other life.” She leans in closer to Jem until their faces are practically touching, and I’m too shocked to do anything about it. I feel like I’m frozen stiff with terror, like a goddamn statue. “A wild one at that.”
Oh God. She did not just say that…did she? I lost my virginity to Tonya before meeting Jem, which is what she’s bringing up now. It was way more of an awkward fumble than anything wild, but that doesn’t matter now. The damage has been done. I don’t think Jem will ever look at me again. I’m pretty sure that she’s still a virgin, saving herself for the right man, and although she probably knows I’m not exactly innocent now, I can’t imagine she’s going to be impressed that I never told her the truth about me the last time around. This could not be going any worse for me, and I’m standing here, silent, like a fool!
Say something! I will myself, but my voice box doesn’t seem to agree.
“I…” Jem starts, gearing up to say something, but I can already see the tears rolling down her face, preventing her from getting anything rational out. I’m internally screaming at myself to stand up for us against Tonya and to at least attempt to defend my actions, to speak the truth out loud, but I feel frozen on the spot, completely helpless.
My silence as Jem glances at me does even more damage than anything Tonya has said. It suggests to her that I’m admitting it all, and that I have nothing to say for myself. I watch her rise slowly, then race off from the deck and out of my life, probably forever.
“Now that the stick-in-the-mud is gone…” Tonya sways her hips seductively as she walks towards me. There’s no denying that this girl is hot as hell, but I’ll never go near her again. Her personality is ugly, and in a way that reflects on the outside. She’s definitely not the one for me, no matter what happens. “Let’s get back down to business.”
She grabs my face in her hands and begins to sit on my knee, but I quickly shove her off, just as I should have done every time she behaved this way around me before. “Get off, Tonya,” I snap at her. “Have some dignity and leave me alone.”
“It’s only a matter of time,” she calls out
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