comfortable pretending to be someone else. She took a deep breath. She wasn’t quitting until she had Zink’s son back.
The nearby rose bushes almost masked the decaying, fishy smell of the lake—almost. Not quite the ideal place for lunch but it was a beautiful spot to the eye.
Ryan walked to her, his hands full of bags and paper cups. He placed them beside her and sat down on the other side. So far, he’d been a perfect gentleman. He held her hand as they walked but nothing more.
She sniffed. “Mmm. Hot dogs and fries.”
“Sorry, it’s not a burger. That line was even longer. I hope this is OK.”
“Perfect.”
They each took time to put the fixings on their hot dogs.
Ryan pointed to the pink flamingos and the white swans swimming in the lake. “I envy them.”
“Why?”
“They’re free. They get to be exactly who they want to be. Nobody tells them they have to act like a giraffe or an elephant. That’s why I like coming here. Animals are honest.”
“That they are. Just look at how the chimps acted flinging their feces all around their cage. That was pretty honest.” Her stomach twisted with her own deceit.
“A little too honest.” Ryan laughed.
“Well, people get to choose how they act, too.”
“I suppose. But take me, for example. I’m an ex-con and I work in a bar because that’s all people will let me do. I could be a lot more if people would give me a chance. They look at me and see this tattoo.” He pointed at his arm where a snake curled up from his wrist to above his elbow. “I’m supposed to be a tough guy, so I dress, act, and even think the part.”
“So, what do you want to do?” Jamie couldn’t believe she was having a heart-to-heart with the man she was deceiving.
“I don’t know. I just wish I had the option to decide.”
Their gazes met. She recognized a kindred searcher. “You do have that option, Ryan. You just have to ignore people and make your life what you want. Your present and future actions will determine your life, not your past. “
“Easier said than done.”
“Your past is gone. The Bible says to forget about the past and look to the future.”
“Don’t tell me you’re a Jesus freak.”
Barbara, her alternate personality, would laugh and say no, but getting the opportunity to talk about Jesus with anyone didn’t come along all that often. Jamie Jakowski wasn’t going to waste it being someone else.
“I wouldn’t say I’m a Jesus freak, but I believe in God and in His love. Our mistakes of the past do not have to dictate our future. He is the God of second chances.”
“How about a third and fourth?”
“That, too.”
“Well, I’m working on getting my life together. Maybe, I’ll think about God after I do.”
“He doesn’t want you to wait until after you get yourself together. He wants you right now—just the way you are. Then the two of you together can make those changes.”
“I’m trying to right some of the wrongs I’ve done in my life.”
That was interesting. “What’s that?”
“I hurt a friend a while back, but I’m trying my best to fix it now.”
Was he talking about Michael Zinkleman?
“Why? What happened?”
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m helping him now. He had to leave with his son because of me. I’m trying to…” His words faded. “Never mind. The details aren’t important.” The tone in Ryan’s voice told her that he would never willingly betray his old friend.
14
Enrique paced the length of his motel room. This was ridiculous. He was a highly-trained and very effective FBI agent. He wasn’t used to sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to make the calls. He needed to do something to move this case along. The sooner that happened, the sooner Jamie would be safely back in Florida with her daughter and away from danger.
His mind drifted to the barbecue he’d interrupted at her home. If only he was the man of the house at the grill flipping
The nearby rose bushes almost masked the decaying, fishy smell of the lake—almost. Not quite the ideal place for lunch but it was a beautiful spot to the eye.
Ryan walked to her, his hands full of bags and paper cups. He placed them beside her and sat down on the other side. So far, he’d been a perfect gentleman. He held her hand as they walked but nothing more.
She sniffed. “Mmm. Hot dogs and fries.”
“Sorry, it’s not a burger. That line was even longer. I hope this is OK.”
“Perfect.”
They each took time to put the fixings on their hot dogs.
Ryan pointed to the pink flamingos and the white swans swimming in the lake. “I envy them.”
“Why?”
“They’re free. They get to be exactly who they want to be. Nobody tells them they have to act like a giraffe or an elephant. That’s why I like coming here. Animals are honest.”
“That they are. Just look at how the chimps acted flinging their feces all around their cage. That was pretty honest.” Her stomach twisted with her own deceit.
“A little too honest.” Ryan laughed.
“Well, people get to choose how they act, too.”
“I suppose. But take me, for example. I’m an ex-con and I work in a bar because that’s all people will let me do. I could be a lot more if people would give me a chance. They look at me and see this tattoo.” He pointed at his arm where a snake curled up from his wrist to above his elbow. “I’m supposed to be a tough guy, so I dress, act, and even think the part.”
“So, what do you want to do?” Jamie couldn’t believe she was having a heart-to-heart with the man she was deceiving.
“I don’t know. I just wish I had the option to decide.”
Their gazes met. She recognized a kindred searcher. “You do have that option, Ryan. You just have to ignore people and make your life what you want. Your present and future actions will determine your life, not your past. “
“Easier said than done.”
“Your past is gone. The Bible says to forget about the past and look to the future.”
“Don’t tell me you’re a Jesus freak.”
Barbara, her alternate personality, would laugh and say no, but getting the opportunity to talk about Jesus with anyone didn’t come along all that often. Jamie Jakowski wasn’t going to waste it being someone else.
“I wouldn’t say I’m a Jesus freak, but I believe in God and in His love. Our mistakes of the past do not have to dictate our future. He is the God of second chances.”
“How about a third and fourth?”
“That, too.”
“Well, I’m working on getting my life together. Maybe, I’ll think about God after I do.”
“He doesn’t want you to wait until after you get yourself together. He wants you right now—just the way you are. Then the two of you together can make those changes.”
“I’m trying to right some of the wrongs I’ve done in my life.”
That was interesting. “What’s that?”
“I hurt a friend a while back, but I’m trying my best to fix it now.”
Was he talking about Michael Zinkleman?
“Why? What happened?”
“Doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m helping him now. He had to leave with his son because of me. I’m trying to…” His words faded. “Never mind. The details aren’t important.” The tone in Ryan’s voice told her that he would never willingly betray his old friend.
14
Enrique paced the length of his motel room. This was ridiculous. He was a highly-trained and very effective FBI agent. He wasn’t used to sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to make the calls. He needed to do something to move this case along. The sooner that happened, the sooner Jamie would be safely back in Florida with her daughter and away from danger.
His mind drifted to the barbecue he’d interrupted at her home. If only he was the man of the house at the grill flipping
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