Regeneration X by Ellison Blackburn Page B

realistic way. After he had spoken, she thought, if I wanted boring realism, I might as well have talked to my sister!
    “You can’t appreciate life when it’s happening. Ever notice how scary moments or bad times become great life experiences—or even funny memories—after time has passed? It’s as if we need time to process what’s happening, and only then can we appreciate it. Do you remember each and every moment of every day when you think you were the happiest?”
    “No, but in general life was more exciting or at least more spontaneous.”
      “But you still did laundry, washed dishes, and mopped the floor. Are you saying that those things were more enjoyable in the past?”
      “You’re not getting my gist. I really mean life-changing moments were better. Doing laundry, washing dishes, and mopping the floor aren’t any worse now than they were in the past. It’s just, those times which really matter in life that are missing or blah .”
    He followed up with a rebuttal. “All right, but do you remember when we went to Rome how miserable we were in the cold and you were sick? Didn’t you say you’d never plan a vacation to go anywhere in a cold season again?”
    This was going nowhere; she was not convincing him. “I know. I just asked you if you wanted to go to Paris for Christmas,” she said exasperated. “Okay, you’ve made your point, life is always better after the fact. But can you understand? I just feel as if those memory-making times are fewer nowadays. And my memories don’t have the same impact. I just don’t feel the same.
    “For example our drive cross country when we moved here, should have been an adventure, but it was just a drive—getting from one place to another. It should’ve been something that made me feel something, but I didn’t . It just happened, almost as if it wasn’t an experience I had at all, but a short story I heard about.
    “Take a look at our photo albums over the past ten years or so. Ask yourself, what are you going to ‘appreciate after time has passed’? Then you tell me, maybe I’m going on about nothing.”
    “I know our lives have settled down. I don’t think about it as much as you do. Possibly because I like the way things are.”
    December 15, 2024
    You have possibly heard of the phrase “living in the moment” and you may subscribe to this as a mantra to live by, but what if you feel you already have, or would rather be, ‘living in another moment’?
    I’m not sure who I’m writing to; must be the ever-attentive self. I need someone to address, so bear in mind ‘you’ is me.
    Anyway, I’ve always had an odd feeling of being out of place and time. I must have been someone else, somewhere else in a past life. I’ve heard stories of people who remember past lives; speak languages and tongues in their sleep; or have instants of regression, which they do not when conscious. I find myself connected to different eras, as if they hold a personal meaning I just don’t remember. I think it’s probably more that I’m grasping at straws since, even more now I don’t like the direction this country is going. And I don’t know if it’s the same everywhere. Maybe in Japan or China where technology has always been embraced as progress, but I don’t think Europe would allow itself to be sucked into this trap, its history is too long and its culture too strong.
    Realistically, the life I live now is probably better suited to this millennium—the virtually social age—than I feel comfortable with in my heart. Then again, it’s probably the reason why I choose the seclusion I do. I wonder if it’s been difficult for all people in my generation? Somewhere out there someone, or many someones, are writing or feeling the same thing.
    If I could choose to live in a moment, I think I would like to experience a simpler life when local shops carried specific goods, i.e. not one-stop shops, where being among society was the same as being among your