but I didn’t want to accept the truth. I finally went to your aunt. I wasn’t entirely sure she was a part of all this but she was the only hope I had. She led me here, back to your mother.” He pauses, holding my gaze. “The reason Chad didn’t tell you was because I asked him not to. I didn’t want you to jeopardise your plan to get Shilah out by trying to get to me.”
He knows me too well. I had been tempted, so close to leaving Shilah. If I knew Dad was here too, I may have done it.
Mum comes back in with some blankets and a pillow each for us before I get a chance to respond to Dad’s words.
“Get some sleep,” she says, kissing Shilah and me on the forehead. It’s almost like the last eight years didn’t happen. She’s fallen straight back into the mother role. But it’s not as easy for me to fall back into daughter mode with her. Dad follows her out, and Shilah gets up and moves to the opposite couch.
“You don’t think they are … you know … sharing a room?” Shilah asks.
I shiver in disgust. “Eww, I hope not!” We laugh briefly but a small smile lingers. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be a normal teenager – being totally grossed out by your parents. I’ve never had that, not that I can remember anyway.
Shilah and I are silent as we stare at the yellow and red embers flickering over the fireplace. Lying down, I bring the blanket up to my face.
“Can’t sleep?” Shilah asks after a while.
I shake my head, “I think I’m too wired.” I turn to face him. “I’m just trying to take it all in.”
“Same here. But I think that may take a while,” he replies. “Apart from all of that, are you okay?”
I shrug. “I guess I’m just in shock. I’ve been thinking about this moment for three months. It just doesn’t feel real.”
“Things will be good here. It will be different. It won’t be like the Institute,” he says.
“I know,” I reply. I really do want to believe that. “How are you doing with the whole, Mum ‘Hey kids, I’m alive’ shock?”
“It’s weird, but strangely normal. I don’t know how to describe it.”
“It’s just straight out weird for me,” I say. “I don’t want it to be, but it is.”
“Speaking of weird – what’s the deal with you and Chad?” he asks.
“Really? You’re already asking me about that?”
“Well … you called him your friend back in the car. I thought you would’ve sorted your shit out by now. Especially after seeing what I saw when I arrived tonight,” he says, smiling.
“I don’t know what’s going on there.”
“What do you want to happen with him?”
“I don’t know. I can’t stop getting angry at him for lying to me.”
“Lying seems to be a way of life,” Shilah says flatly.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re angry about everyone lying to you, but it’s not like you’ve never lied, right? In this world, lies are a necessity for survival. Especially for people like us.”
“How are you handling this so well? How are you not as angry as I am?”
“You really need to let go of your anger,” he says.
“Oh, okay then, Zen Master. Just how am I meant to do that?”
Shilah shrugs, “The way I see it, I’ve just been handed a gift. The gift of never being trapped inside a dark, windowless world for the rest of my life. I’m not angry at anyone for lying, I’m not angry about finding out Mum is alive, I’m happy. Happy that everything I’ve ever wanted is right here … well, almost everything.”
“Almost?” I ask, one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah. Almost,” he says, blushing.
“Okay, I so need the details of that! You’re seeing someone?” I ask.
“I was. Well sort of. I’ll explain another time. It kinda hurts to think about it too much with them still being back at the Institute.”
I nod. No – I need more. “Sorry, you have to tell me.”
Shilah smiles. “Tomorrow,” he says. “I’m going to try and get some sleep.”
I hear footsteps coming
He knows me too well. I had been tempted, so close to leaving Shilah. If I knew Dad was here too, I may have done it.
Mum comes back in with some blankets and a pillow each for us before I get a chance to respond to Dad’s words.
“Get some sleep,” she says, kissing Shilah and me on the forehead. It’s almost like the last eight years didn’t happen. She’s fallen straight back into the mother role. But it’s not as easy for me to fall back into daughter mode with her. Dad follows her out, and Shilah gets up and moves to the opposite couch.
“You don’t think they are … you know … sharing a room?” Shilah asks.
I shiver in disgust. “Eww, I hope not!” We laugh briefly but a small smile lingers. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be a normal teenager – being totally grossed out by your parents. I’ve never had that, not that I can remember anyway.
Shilah and I are silent as we stare at the yellow and red embers flickering over the fireplace. Lying down, I bring the blanket up to my face.
“Can’t sleep?” Shilah asks after a while.
I shake my head, “I think I’m too wired.” I turn to face him. “I’m just trying to take it all in.”
“Same here. But I think that may take a while,” he replies. “Apart from all of that, are you okay?”
I shrug. “I guess I’m just in shock. I’ve been thinking about this moment for three months. It just doesn’t feel real.”
“Things will be good here. It will be different. It won’t be like the Institute,” he says.
“I know,” I reply. I really do want to believe that. “How are you doing with the whole, Mum ‘Hey kids, I’m alive’ shock?”
“It’s weird, but strangely normal. I don’t know how to describe it.”
“It’s just straight out weird for me,” I say. “I don’t want it to be, but it is.”
“Speaking of weird – what’s the deal with you and Chad?” he asks.
“Really? You’re already asking me about that?”
“Well … you called him your friend back in the car. I thought you would’ve sorted your shit out by now. Especially after seeing what I saw when I arrived tonight,” he says, smiling.
“I don’t know what’s going on there.”
“What do you want to happen with him?”
“I don’t know. I can’t stop getting angry at him for lying to me.”
“Lying seems to be a way of life,” Shilah says flatly.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re angry about everyone lying to you, but it’s not like you’ve never lied, right? In this world, lies are a necessity for survival. Especially for people like us.”
“How are you handling this so well? How are you not as angry as I am?”
“You really need to let go of your anger,” he says.
“Oh, okay then, Zen Master. Just how am I meant to do that?”
Shilah shrugs, “The way I see it, I’ve just been handed a gift. The gift of never being trapped inside a dark, windowless world for the rest of my life. I’m not angry at anyone for lying, I’m not angry about finding out Mum is alive, I’m happy. Happy that everything I’ve ever wanted is right here … well, almost everything.”
“Almost?” I ask, one eyebrow raised.
“Yeah. Almost,” he says, blushing.
“Okay, I so need the details of that! You’re seeing someone?” I ask.
“I was. Well sort of. I’ll explain another time. It kinda hurts to think about it too much with them still being back at the Institute.”
I nod. No – I need more. “Sorry, you have to tell me.”
Shilah smiles. “Tomorrow,” he says. “I’m going to try and get some sleep.”
I hear footsteps coming
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