did.
Spurred on, I stretched out, and pressed hard against the wall with my elbows, forearms, and feet. Finding the vague impressions of hand and footholds, I dug in, pulling us up. Weakened and unable to hold on, McConnell shifted downward as unconsciousness claimed him, the knotted shirt pulling tight against my collarbones and throat. I could barely breathe, but there was nothing I could do about it. The alternative was never breathing again. I couldn’t let that happen. Do you know how embarrassing a killed by a zombie epitaph would be?
“Ever hear of Jenny Craig?” I asked McConnell, sounding like a frog, my voice croaking. Built like a brick shit house, the wizard was a big, steaming pile of dead weight.
To make things worse, the rough rocks were like razors against my skin, slashing my arms to ribbons as I ground them into the walls to support our ascent. Now wet with my blood, the already awkward movement became even more difficult as each bracing thrust opened more wounds, adding to the slickness of the walls. I glanced up as I inched my way toward the mausoleum, the square patch of light seeming a million miles away.
Below me, I heard the jabbered call of the zombies, their shuffling feet on the rocks nearby. We were still too close to the floor, my legs and McConnell’s fat ass still within reach. I pressed harder, squirming upward, grinding the bones of my arms against the jagged walls, whimpering like a beaten dog.
All of a sudden, I felt a tug that nearly pulled me from the wall. I managed a glance back as I leveraged myself, damn near tearing my shoulders out of their sockets. What I saw tied my stomach in knots. An enterprising zombie had latched a hand onto McConnell’s belt, adding its weight to ours while swatting at the wizard’s exposed back with the other.
McConnell regained consciousness with a hoarse shout as the corpse carved red troughs along his spine. I bore down harder as The Gray’s pained twitches threatened to yank me from my unsteady perch. My arms screamed out in agony. The bones of my shoulders ground together.
“Damn it, McConnell, stop squirming. You’re gonna get us killed.” I thumped my head against his to draw his pained attention. “I can’t hold us much longer. I need a boost.”
His only response was a grunt that showered my neck with warm, bloody spittle. He was passing out again. I thumped him once more, getting a growl in response.
“Now, McConnell!”
Though he said nothing, I saw a dull gray sputter to life around his hands. It flickered for an instant, then died. I felt his weight shift as the zombie tore into him again. We both cried out at the same time. Chunks of my arm peeled back against the sharp edges of the wall as our combined weight dragged us down an inch at a time, slow and excruciating.
I growled in frustration, doing my best to keep us stable, but it was a losing battle. That thought was reinforced as another zombie appeared alongside the first below. I heard its gibbered voice mingling with its buddy’s. Its grasping hands joined the effort to tear us from the wall. It wouldn’t be long until they succeeded, my arms going numb.
Just as I contemplated dropping, figuring I’d take my chances in the hole, McConnell’s hands lit up again. A strained moan escaped his lips as I felt the pressure on my arms relax, our weight buoyed by his magic. A split-second later we were being pushed upward, gathering momentum. I tucked my arms in to avoid having them ripped off as we hurtled upward, and loosed a sigh of relief.
The comforted feeling didn’t last long.
I looked down and noticed we still had a passenger, one of its dead hands clasped tight around the wizard’s leg, the other swinging loose. To make matters worse, McConnell’s head was slumped against my shoulder and the glow had retreated from his hands. That, however, didn’t stop our ascent.
I looked above us and saw the light from the mausoleum, which had looked so far away
Spurred on, I stretched out, and pressed hard against the wall with my elbows, forearms, and feet. Finding the vague impressions of hand and footholds, I dug in, pulling us up. Weakened and unable to hold on, McConnell shifted downward as unconsciousness claimed him, the knotted shirt pulling tight against my collarbones and throat. I could barely breathe, but there was nothing I could do about it. The alternative was never breathing again. I couldn’t let that happen. Do you know how embarrassing a killed by a zombie epitaph would be?
“Ever hear of Jenny Craig?” I asked McConnell, sounding like a frog, my voice croaking. Built like a brick shit house, the wizard was a big, steaming pile of dead weight.
To make things worse, the rough rocks were like razors against my skin, slashing my arms to ribbons as I ground them into the walls to support our ascent. Now wet with my blood, the already awkward movement became even more difficult as each bracing thrust opened more wounds, adding to the slickness of the walls. I glanced up as I inched my way toward the mausoleum, the square patch of light seeming a million miles away.
Below me, I heard the jabbered call of the zombies, their shuffling feet on the rocks nearby. We were still too close to the floor, my legs and McConnell’s fat ass still within reach. I pressed harder, squirming upward, grinding the bones of my arms against the jagged walls, whimpering like a beaten dog.
All of a sudden, I felt a tug that nearly pulled me from the wall. I managed a glance back as I leveraged myself, damn near tearing my shoulders out of their sockets. What I saw tied my stomach in knots. An enterprising zombie had latched a hand onto McConnell’s belt, adding its weight to ours while swatting at the wizard’s exposed back with the other.
McConnell regained consciousness with a hoarse shout as the corpse carved red troughs along his spine. I bore down harder as The Gray’s pained twitches threatened to yank me from my unsteady perch. My arms screamed out in agony. The bones of my shoulders ground together.
“Damn it, McConnell, stop squirming. You’re gonna get us killed.” I thumped my head against his to draw his pained attention. “I can’t hold us much longer. I need a boost.”
His only response was a grunt that showered my neck with warm, bloody spittle. He was passing out again. I thumped him once more, getting a growl in response.
“Now, McConnell!”
Though he said nothing, I saw a dull gray sputter to life around his hands. It flickered for an instant, then died. I felt his weight shift as the zombie tore into him again. We both cried out at the same time. Chunks of my arm peeled back against the sharp edges of the wall as our combined weight dragged us down an inch at a time, slow and excruciating.
I growled in frustration, doing my best to keep us stable, but it was a losing battle. That thought was reinforced as another zombie appeared alongside the first below. I heard its gibbered voice mingling with its buddy’s. Its grasping hands joined the effort to tear us from the wall. It wouldn’t be long until they succeeded, my arms going numb.
Just as I contemplated dropping, figuring I’d take my chances in the hole, McConnell’s hands lit up again. A strained moan escaped his lips as I felt the pressure on my arms relax, our weight buoyed by his magic. A split-second later we were being pushed upward, gathering momentum. I tucked my arms in to avoid having them ripped off as we hurtled upward, and loosed a sigh of relief.
The comforted feeling didn’t last long.
I looked down and noticed we still had a passenger, one of its dead hands clasped tight around the wizard’s leg, the other swinging loose. To make matters worse, McConnell’s head was slumped against my shoulder and the glow had retreated from his hands. That, however, didn’t stop our ascent.
I looked above us and saw the light from the mausoleum, which had looked so far away
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