Rhythm by Ena Page A

Gah.
    “There’s no us, Riley. I told you already and
will tell you again until you fully understand. You are not my
girlfriend. Now, will you please leave?”
    “Grant, don’t do this to me. I love you.”
    “I don’t. Just leave, Riley. Please.”
    I am torn between happy and hurt—happy that
he’s telling her to leave and hurt that his voice is still soft
while talking with her. It’s his voice reserved only for me.
    When Riley doesn’t move, Grant grabs my arm
gently and assists me inside my dorm. He turns before opening the
door.
    “Goodbye, Riley.”
    When we’re inside, he guides me to take a
seat on the sofa bed in the living room. I’m not sure if I’m ready
with this talk, but it’s better to get it out of the way.
    “I have so many questions to ask, but I’ll
let you do the honor of telling me everything. No screening of
stories please. Make it pure, unadulterated. Go.” I try to sound
casual, even though I am deeply hurt. I want to give him a chance
to explain. I want to do it both for him and me. Yes, I can do
casual.
    “First of all, I want to say I am very sorry
to you, Rhy, for not telling you right away about Riley. I didn’t
consider what was between us that important for me to share to you
because she is my past. She is before you. I thought of telling you
about her, but after you told me your story about Ben, I became a
coward. I put off the chances I had in telling you about her . . .
until now.”
    He waits for me to say something while he
fidgets with his thumbs—a giveaway that he’s quite nervous.
    “Go on,” I say.
    “Riley was my girlfriend. We were together
for . . . honestly I’m not sure, two years, almost three? We became
exclusive when I went to Michigan one summer, so what we had was a
long-distance relationship. Knowing me, we didn’t have a means of
communication but snail mail. I replied in every mail she sent me,
until she stopped sending them altogether. I just learned from her
a while ago that she didn’t receive any response from me, but it
doesn’t matter anymore because for me, we broke up a long time ago.
Five months before I met you, I am already over her. And when I met
you, it became clear to me why it happened—the thing between Riley
and me. I understood that I am destined to meet you, and that I am
made whole even before our paths crossed. You are not a rebound
girl, Rhy.”
    I heave a sigh, as I prepare to ask the
question of the day. “How, then, do you explain what happened
earlier?”
    “Earlier?”
    “The kiss?” I roll my eyes.
    “Oh, that.” He wrinkles his nose as if the
memory disgusts him. Hmm. Interesting. “I am pushing her off
me, Rhy. I swear.”
    “That didn’t look like it.” I contain my
exasperation in spite of the burning desire to strangle him.
    “Why? Why would you tell that?”
    “Because I saw you holding her, Grant. Not
pushing. Holding.”
    “I am holding her to push her, promise, Rhy.
Please believe me.”
    “Why didn’t you just push her without holding
her? You could have just stepped back, you know, like what you did
when I interrupted your moment.” I snap.
    “I’m sorry, Rhy. It all happened in a blur
that I didn’t have time to think if holding her would be the right
way of getting rid of her or not. Please, Rhy. I wouldn’t want to
do that to another girl. I only want to kiss you. I only want you.
She is my past. You are my present and my future.”
    “Are you sure, Grant? Because you know what I
think?”
    He looks at me mournfully.
    “Honestly, I think that you only agreed to my
rule about the physical thing because you’re doing to other girls
what you can’t do with me.”
    “What?” he asks in disbelief.
    “You can’t blame me, Grant. Not after what
I’ve seen, and no less than with her .” The bitter taste of
her memory is strong.
    “Yeah, about that. You know her?”
    “Remember the story of Ben?”
    He nods.
    “She’s the girl.”
    He can’t hide his surprise. “Did you