down in front
of him and putting my hand on his knee. He jumped like I had electrocuted him.
He jumped up out of the chair and began to pace in front of the television.
“As you can probably tell, I am having a rough night.
Uh….were you waiting up for me?” he asked after a bit, his voice sounded shaky.
He was talking fast, like he did when he was nervous. And he was tugging on
that damn lip ring.
“Yes. We have a lot to talk about Axel,” I replied,
trying not to have my voice rise. He looked at me and frowned.
“Is it about the other day? Is that what you are going to
get on my case about?”
“Hell yes I am!” His face clouded with anger.
“You have been here for a minute and you think you can go
all parental on me? What the fuck Bleu?!” he yelled, his pale skin getting red.
Zero to piss off in no time. Awesome.
“It does not matter how long I have been here. I came
here to be with you. I trust you more than anyone on this earth and I had
someone I barely knew help me. You were too damn busy following Blow Job Barbie
around like a wounded puppy! People who barely know me, they were there for me
when you were too busy kissing her ass!! You stood there and let her talk shit
about me like you and I were strangers!”
“You don’t know what you are talking about Bleu,” he
muttered, refusing to make eye contact with me. This only made me angrier.
“You are my brother, my family. I protected your ass when
the shit went down with Mom. I am not calling you on it, but I have been
looking after your ass since we were ten. Beau didn’t do it, hell no one has
seen him for years! You tell me that I don’t understand that I need to stay out
of it. I fucking refuse!! I am your family, not some punk off of the street. I
want to know what the hell kind of hold that bitch has on you,” I yelled. He looked at me like I had slapped
him. Bringing Mom up was something I never did.
“You want to talk about honest? How about you LYING to me
about why you were coming down here huh? Not telling me that you were in jail?
How about that??!!”
“I did it to protect you! So you would not be in a cell
next to me for finishing the beating I started on Carl!”
“I am not a baby Bleu. I am not your pet project! Stop
trying to fix me! Stay out of it if you know what’s good for you,” he snapped
at me before he walked out of the room and stomped upstairs. I flinched as his
bedroom door slammed. Who the hell was this person? I refused to deal with
this. After all the shit I have continuously done, for him. I grabbed my phone,
my new messenger bag and slid into my flip flops. Looking over my shoulder at
the stairs, I grabbed my keys and slammed out the door. I held my breath and
waited for him to come out on the porch, to say something, but he didn’t. That
was not my brother. I did not know that person in his place.
After driving to Aunt Almeida’s house, I remembered that
she was working third shift and I did not want to wake the kids and scare the
hell out of them. I really had nowhere to go. The shop loomed ahead and I did
not even remember pointing the rental car Skeeter had loaned me, in that
direction. I turned off the car and sat there in the dark. I looked down and
realized that I had the key to the shop on my key ring. Shutting the door
softly, I padded to the shop door and unlocked it. The moonlight and the street
lights made it so I did not have to turn on any lights. Putting my bag onto the
floor near the couch, I sat on the couch and played with my phone for a bit.
Although it was almost one thirty in the morning, I was too keyed up to
sleep. Leaning back against the couch, I willed myself not to cry. What
the hell was wrong with me? Why was I always ready to cry? Rubbing my eyes, I
stopped suddenly as I heard a noise. My mind started getting ahead of itself
and every dark scenario played in my head. Trying to make myself hidden, I
curled into a ball, clutching my keys to my chest.
“Bleu?” called a
of him and putting my hand on his knee. He jumped like I had electrocuted him.
He jumped up out of the chair and began to pace in front of the television.
“As you can probably tell, I am having a rough night.
Uh….were you waiting up for me?” he asked after a bit, his voice sounded shaky.
He was talking fast, like he did when he was nervous. And he was tugging on
that damn lip ring.
“Yes. We have a lot to talk about Axel,” I replied,
trying not to have my voice rise. He looked at me and frowned.
“Is it about the other day? Is that what you are going to
get on my case about?”
“Hell yes I am!” His face clouded with anger.
“You have been here for a minute and you think you can go
all parental on me? What the fuck Bleu?!” he yelled, his pale skin getting red.
Zero to piss off in no time. Awesome.
“It does not matter how long I have been here. I came
here to be with you. I trust you more than anyone on this earth and I had
someone I barely knew help me. You were too damn busy following Blow Job Barbie
around like a wounded puppy! People who barely know me, they were there for me
when you were too busy kissing her ass!! You stood there and let her talk shit
about me like you and I were strangers!”
“You don’t know what you are talking about Bleu,” he
muttered, refusing to make eye contact with me. This only made me angrier.
“You are my brother, my family. I protected your ass when
the shit went down with Mom. I am not calling you on it, but I have been
looking after your ass since we were ten. Beau didn’t do it, hell no one has
seen him for years! You tell me that I don’t understand that I need to stay out
of it. I fucking refuse!! I am your family, not some punk off of the street. I
want to know what the hell kind of hold that bitch has on you,” I yelled. He looked at me like I had slapped
him. Bringing Mom up was something I never did.
“You want to talk about honest? How about you LYING to me
about why you were coming down here huh? Not telling me that you were in jail?
How about that??!!”
“I did it to protect you! So you would not be in a cell
next to me for finishing the beating I started on Carl!”
“I am not a baby Bleu. I am not your pet project! Stop
trying to fix me! Stay out of it if you know what’s good for you,” he snapped
at me before he walked out of the room and stomped upstairs. I flinched as his
bedroom door slammed. Who the hell was this person? I refused to deal with
this. After all the shit I have continuously done, for him. I grabbed my phone,
my new messenger bag and slid into my flip flops. Looking over my shoulder at
the stairs, I grabbed my keys and slammed out the door. I held my breath and
waited for him to come out on the porch, to say something, but he didn’t. That
was not my brother. I did not know that person in his place.
After driving to Aunt Almeida’s house, I remembered that
she was working third shift and I did not want to wake the kids and scare the
hell out of them. I really had nowhere to go. The shop loomed ahead and I did
not even remember pointing the rental car Skeeter had loaned me, in that
direction. I turned off the car and sat there in the dark. I looked down and
realized that I had the key to the shop on my key ring. Shutting the door
softly, I padded to the shop door and unlocked it. The moonlight and the street
lights made it so I did not have to turn on any lights. Putting my bag onto the
floor near the couch, I sat on the couch and played with my phone for a bit.
Although it was almost one thirty in the morning, I was too keyed up to
sleep. Leaning back against the couch, I willed myself not to cry. What
the hell was wrong with me? Why was I always ready to cry? Rubbing my eyes, I
stopped suddenly as I heard a noise. My mind started getting ahead of itself
and every dark scenario played in my head. Trying to make myself hidden, I
curled into a ball, clutching my keys to my chest.
“Bleu?” called a
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