soft swish of glass sliding in its frame. His knuckles paled as he gripped the safety rail in front of him, but he didn’t speak.
Maybe I shouldn’t be out here. I didn’t know what to say. Breaking the stillness felt like a violation.
“Have you ever been to L.A.?” His low voice merged with the calm instead of shattering it.
“Once.” I stepped next to him, both to see what he was looking at and to hear him better. “Anime Expo, a few years ago.”
He gave a short laugh. “Us too. First time we did this. She didn’t stick around after. None of us were interested.”
A raw ache grew in my throat. Was that a hint? Snippets of the day raced through my mind, from their insistence we still meet up to talk about what turned out to be the ARG, to dinner, to the second invitation back to their room. I might not be the boldest person, but I wasn’t completely oblivious about the world around me. Despite Trevor’s flashes of hot and cold, I didn’t think this was his way of telling me to leave. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“It was his idea.” Trevor raked his fingers through his hair. “Not that I took much convincing. I’m a guy. I don’t mind kink, I love sex, and the environment was right. People live different lives at cons. Step outside their shells. Let their guard down.”
I knew this all too well.
Trevor turned to face me, and a smile cracked his somber expression. His gaze traveled over me. “Nice shirt.” An edge lined his voice.
“It was dark. It’s what I grabbed. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine. Better than fine. You look incredible.”
Heat flooded my skin. “Thanks.”
He stepped behind me, fixed his hands on my hips, and pointed me toward the city. “Do you see that?”
I looked out over the view. A million tiny lights, like stars on the ground, twinkling until they reached the mountains and faded into blackness. Something told me he was looking for a more specific answer than that. “See what?” I asked.
“In L.A. it didn’t matter if it was two in the morning. There was always traffic. The roads were never empty. We’re smack dab in the middle of downtown Salt Lake City, and you can only see maybe ten cars from here. It’s quiet, it’s unassuming, and it’s calm. But people don’t want to live here. They want to live in Hollywood. Places like this are boring.”
“I think it’s pretty. I love the way the valley looks at night.”
He slid his palms forward, until his fingers interlocked and rested on my stomach. I leaned back into him, and he set his chin on the top of my head. A tiny voice told me this was too intimate for the relationship we had. I ignored it. Everything about this moment was right for now.
“Me too.” His chest rose and fell against my spine when he sighed. “I always thought it looked like the sky, but upside down.”
I sank further into his embrace, a new kind of warmth filling me when his words synced up so well with my thoughts. “When I was little, one Fourth of July we drove up to the very top streets in The Aves, to watch the fireworks.” The moment from my past sparked in my mind, happy and bright, tinged with a sprinkle of bittersweet because it was one of the few holidays Dad was able to take off and spend with us. “When it was all over, we stayed up there for a while. My dad didn’t want to deal with traffic.” I had no idea why I was sharing the memory. It was something I never talked about, even with Jackson. An idea I’d tucked away long ago. Telling Trevor felt right. The relaxed arms holding me, the way his breathing matched mine, and the stillness of the night drew the words out. “I remember looking out over it all and wondering, if I grew up to be an astronaut, would the sky look like that when I was actually a part of it?”
“I did something similar when I was little”—his lips moved against my hair, his voice low and soothing—“except I was going to be an X-Wing pilot.”
A tiny laughed
Maybe I shouldn’t be out here. I didn’t know what to say. Breaking the stillness felt like a violation.
“Have you ever been to L.A.?” His low voice merged with the calm instead of shattering it.
“Once.” I stepped next to him, both to see what he was looking at and to hear him better. “Anime Expo, a few years ago.”
He gave a short laugh. “Us too. First time we did this. She didn’t stick around after. None of us were interested.”
A raw ache grew in my throat. Was that a hint? Snippets of the day raced through my mind, from their insistence we still meet up to talk about what turned out to be the ARG, to dinner, to the second invitation back to their room. I might not be the boldest person, but I wasn’t completely oblivious about the world around me. Despite Trevor’s flashes of hot and cold, I didn’t think this was his way of telling me to leave. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“It was his idea.” Trevor raked his fingers through his hair. “Not that I took much convincing. I’m a guy. I don’t mind kink, I love sex, and the environment was right. People live different lives at cons. Step outside their shells. Let their guard down.”
I knew this all too well.
Trevor turned to face me, and a smile cracked his somber expression. His gaze traveled over me. “Nice shirt.” An edge lined his voice.
“It was dark. It’s what I grabbed. I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine. Better than fine. You look incredible.”
Heat flooded my skin. “Thanks.”
He stepped behind me, fixed his hands on my hips, and pointed me toward the city. “Do you see that?”
I looked out over the view. A million tiny lights, like stars on the ground, twinkling until they reached the mountains and faded into blackness. Something told me he was looking for a more specific answer than that. “See what?” I asked.
“In L.A. it didn’t matter if it was two in the morning. There was always traffic. The roads were never empty. We’re smack dab in the middle of downtown Salt Lake City, and you can only see maybe ten cars from here. It’s quiet, it’s unassuming, and it’s calm. But people don’t want to live here. They want to live in Hollywood. Places like this are boring.”
“I think it’s pretty. I love the way the valley looks at night.”
He slid his palms forward, until his fingers interlocked and rested on my stomach. I leaned back into him, and he set his chin on the top of my head. A tiny voice told me this was too intimate for the relationship we had. I ignored it. Everything about this moment was right for now.
“Me too.” His chest rose and fell against my spine when he sighed. “I always thought it looked like the sky, but upside down.”
I sank further into his embrace, a new kind of warmth filling me when his words synced up so well with my thoughts. “When I was little, one Fourth of July we drove up to the very top streets in The Aves, to watch the fireworks.” The moment from my past sparked in my mind, happy and bright, tinged with a sprinkle of bittersweet because it was one of the few holidays Dad was able to take off and spend with us. “When it was all over, we stayed up there for a while. My dad didn’t want to deal with traffic.” I had no idea why I was sharing the memory. It was something I never talked about, even with Jackson. An idea I’d tucked away long ago. Telling Trevor felt right. The relaxed arms holding me, the way his breathing matched mine, and the stillness of the night drew the words out. “I remember looking out over it all and wondering, if I grew up to be an astronaut, would the sky look like that when I was actually a part of it?”
“I did something similar when I was little”—his lips moved against my hair, his voice low and soothing—“except I was going to be an X-Wing pilot.”
A tiny laughed
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