lucky fellow, that's all I can say."
Justine nodded. "Don't cut your hair. It's awesome."
"You think so?"
Justine's cheeks burned with heat.
Trevor came back, and they spent some time talking about music and people they knew. And then, all of a sudden, Justine looked at the clock and it was eleven.
She gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Oh crap. I've got to go home right now."
This was dreadful. She had promised Tom that she would come home at ten. Now he'd be waiting for her, wondering where she was.
Maybe she should... she dug her phone out of her pocket and stared at the screen. He hadn't even sent her a text. He only remained silent when he was absolutely furious.
"Anything wrong?"
"I said I'd leave here at ten."
"Just tell him that you're going to be a bit later. It will be fine."
No, it would not be fine. He didn't know Tom.
Chapter 12
J ustine didn't dare ring Tom. If she did, she would be blasted in the face, and there was no need for Darren to hear that. He would say Why does he treat you like a child? and You should tell him that he can't treat you like that and he'd be right about that.
She rang a cab instead.
Darren waited with her in the front yard for it to turn up. The cat came up the path meowing, and he picked it up, cradling it in his arms so that all four paws stuck into the air.
"That's funny. One of its feet has black toes." She stroked its soft belly. The cat started purring.
"I enjoyed tonight. Will you play with us more often?"
"I'm... not sure."
"I know it's none of my business, but you seem really nervous."
"Yeah."
"Is there anything wrong?"
"Well, my fiancé...kind of rescued me from being really depressed about my chances of ever being a musician. He's not really keen on me playing again."
"Does he tell you that you can't play?"
"He says he's afraid that I'll go back to being an emotional wreck."
"Does he now?"
She saw in his eyes what he thought: you're already an emotional wreck . She breathed in deeply. Couldn't breathe out freely. Breathed in again.
"Hey, calm down." He set the cat down. It protested with a plaintive meow. Then he put his arms around her. It was a perfectly natural thing to do for a friend. He could have said so many things, like You know you deserve better than this? or Wow, that guy sounds like a total arsehole , but he left the judgement unspoken. Maybe his silence made it even worse, because if he said something, she could have told him about how nice Tom was, how he had listened to her frustration, how he helped her claw back from the blackness of despair, how he helped build her self-esteem.
But then Darren would say, Self-esteem? By working in an insurance office? And she would say that there was nothing wrong with working in an insurance office, that thousands of people did this and were perfectly happy.
And he would say, There is no happiness once you've walked onto a stage and seen the audience wait for you and clap for you. As soon as you walk off that stage, you want to do it again, and if you can't, you won't be happy until you do . The music theory lecturer used to start the year's classes with that statement.
Justine didn't need him to say any of these things. She knew. She remembered every little bit of it. She leaned into his warmth. He stroked her back, with his palm describing small circles on her shoulder blade.
She said, "I'm all right, really. Don't worry about me." But her voice sounded small. She was so close to that point where her heart would break into a thousand little pieces.
He was looking at her with an expression of intensity, as if he knew that she was lying, as if he wanted her to say what really bothered her, things that could not be put into words, because doing so would upset her entire life, likely for no good reason.
He leaned towards her, touching the top of her forehead with his nose. He smelled of some kind of male perfume, either deodorant or shaving cream. Not an unpleasant smell. Not cheap
Justine nodded. "Don't cut your hair. It's awesome."
"You think so?"
Justine's cheeks burned with heat.
Trevor came back, and they spent some time talking about music and people they knew. And then, all of a sudden, Justine looked at the clock and it was eleven.
She gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth. "Oh crap. I've got to go home right now."
This was dreadful. She had promised Tom that she would come home at ten. Now he'd be waiting for her, wondering where she was.
Maybe she should... she dug her phone out of her pocket and stared at the screen. He hadn't even sent her a text. He only remained silent when he was absolutely furious.
"Anything wrong?"
"I said I'd leave here at ten."
"Just tell him that you're going to be a bit later. It will be fine."
No, it would not be fine. He didn't know Tom.
Chapter 12
J ustine didn't dare ring Tom. If she did, she would be blasted in the face, and there was no need for Darren to hear that. He would say Why does he treat you like a child? and You should tell him that he can't treat you like that and he'd be right about that.
She rang a cab instead.
Darren waited with her in the front yard for it to turn up. The cat came up the path meowing, and he picked it up, cradling it in his arms so that all four paws stuck into the air.
"That's funny. One of its feet has black toes." She stroked its soft belly. The cat started purring.
"I enjoyed tonight. Will you play with us more often?"
"I'm... not sure."
"I know it's none of my business, but you seem really nervous."
"Yeah."
"Is there anything wrong?"
"Well, my fiancé...kind of rescued me from being really depressed about my chances of ever being a musician. He's not really keen on me playing again."
"Does he tell you that you can't play?"
"He says he's afraid that I'll go back to being an emotional wreck."
"Does he now?"
She saw in his eyes what he thought: you're already an emotional wreck . She breathed in deeply. Couldn't breathe out freely. Breathed in again.
"Hey, calm down." He set the cat down. It protested with a plaintive meow. Then he put his arms around her. It was a perfectly natural thing to do for a friend. He could have said so many things, like You know you deserve better than this? or Wow, that guy sounds like a total arsehole , but he left the judgement unspoken. Maybe his silence made it even worse, because if he said something, she could have told him about how nice Tom was, how he had listened to her frustration, how he helped her claw back from the blackness of despair, how he helped build her self-esteem.
But then Darren would say, Self-esteem? By working in an insurance office? And she would say that there was nothing wrong with working in an insurance office, that thousands of people did this and were perfectly happy.
And he would say, There is no happiness once you've walked onto a stage and seen the audience wait for you and clap for you. As soon as you walk off that stage, you want to do it again, and if you can't, you won't be happy until you do . The music theory lecturer used to start the year's classes with that statement.
Justine didn't need him to say any of these things. She knew. She remembered every little bit of it. She leaned into his warmth. He stroked her back, with his palm describing small circles on her shoulder blade.
She said, "I'm all right, really. Don't worry about me." But her voice sounded small. She was so close to that point where her heart would break into a thousand little pieces.
He was looking at her with an expression of intensity, as if he knew that she was lying, as if he wanted her to say what really bothered her, things that could not be put into words, because doing so would upset her entire life, likely for no good reason.
He leaned towards her, touching the top of her forehead with his nose. He smelled of some kind of male perfume, either deodorant or shaving cream. Not an unpleasant smell. Not cheap
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