looks?” Brooklyn asked sincerely. “It’s like he’s a whole new person. Did he get plastic surgery or something?” Not you too, Apple groaned inwardly.
“Sure, Brooklyn. How many fifteen-year-old boys do you know who get plastic surgery?” Apple scoffed.
“Who got plastic surgery?” Happy asked, sitting down beside them.
“I was just saying to Apple that I think Zen got plastic surgery or something. He looks so good,” Brooklyn said.
“I know!” Happy exclaimed. “I was just saying that this morning. I think he’s as good-looking as Hopper now.”
“Well, I don’t know about
that
,” Brooklyn responded, and her friends looked at her. “Hey! Hopper will always be a walking Calvin Klein underwear ad. Everyone knows that! So don’t look at me likethat. But Zen is definitely in the game now, I’d say. Don’t you think so, Apple?” Brooklyn asked.
“I guess so,” Apple said, thinking, I
absolutely freaking
think so.
“So are we coming over to your house after school today, Apple, to watch
Queen of Hearts?
Is it the Sperm Bandit show?” Happy asked, mercifully changing the subject.
“I’m not sure. I think it may be the Torn between Two Lovers show,” said Apple.
“Whatever. I can’t wait to watch whatever it is,” said Happy.
“Why do we have to go to
my
house?” Apple asked. “Why can’t we go to yours, or Brooklyn’s?”
“You want to come to my house?
My
house?” Brooklyn asked. “With the Helicopter hovering around, making sure we don’t spill anything, telling us that we should be spending our time doing homework instead of watching trashy television? I don’t think so!”
“The Helicopter thinks my mother’s show is trashy?” Apple asked, perking up.
“Don’t get too excited, Apple. The Helicopter thinks
every
show on television is trashy. She even thinks the news is trashy.”
“Well, we can’t go to
my
house,” Happy said. “My sister will be there. And you know what Sailor is like. She’s a pain in the ass and will probably be blasting her music or talking on the phone nonstop. Her mere presence will annoy us, trust me. Plus, no one will be home at your house, Apple. We’re going to your house,”she decided. “Besides, Guy might be there, and I need him to see I’m television-worthy.”
“Well,
I
don’t think Guy will be there,” Apple said, as the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. “He’ll be at the show. But Aunt Hazel might be there. You never know.”
“Oh, I love Aunt Hazel!” Happy cried. “She’s just as much a character as Guy. God, Apple, your house is always so exciting. It’s
fantastic
.”
If only Happy really knew what went on, thought Apple.
“Fine, we’ll go to my house,” Apple said. “But I can’t promise that I’m going to watch the show with you.”
“Oh, you know you will,” Happy called out cheerfully.
After her last class, Apple headed to the front doors to meet up with Brooklyn and Happy.
Except it was not Brooklyn and Happy who were at the front doors. It was Happy and Zen, who were talking animatedly about something. Apple stopped dead before she got there, and then watched them laughing. She wondered what they were laughing about and immediately felt left out. She was shocked to find herself feeling this way. She hadn’t even managed to get more than two sentences out of Zen today, let alone make him laugh like that. Apple felt sick to her stomach. Why couldn’t she be more like Happy? Happy may idolize her mother, but Apple idolized Happy. Happy made everything she did seem effortless.
Apple took a deep breath and walked up to them. “Hey, guys,” she said. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“There you are!” said Happy. “I thought you were going to bail. Zen was just telling me this hilarious story about the surfing lessons he took in Australia with a former champion.” Happy turned her attention fully back to Zen. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.”
“You
“Sure, Brooklyn. How many fifteen-year-old boys do you know who get plastic surgery?” Apple scoffed.
“Who got plastic surgery?” Happy asked, sitting down beside them.
“I was just saying to Apple that I think Zen got plastic surgery or something. He looks so good,” Brooklyn said.
“I know!” Happy exclaimed. “I was just saying that this morning. I think he’s as good-looking as Hopper now.”
“Well, I don’t know about
that
,” Brooklyn responded, and her friends looked at her. “Hey! Hopper will always be a walking Calvin Klein underwear ad. Everyone knows that! So don’t look at me likethat. But Zen is definitely in the game now, I’d say. Don’t you think so, Apple?” Brooklyn asked.
“I guess so,” Apple said, thinking, I
absolutely freaking
think so.
“So are we coming over to your house after school today, Apple, to watch
Queen of Hearts?
Is it the Sperm Bandit show?” Happy asked, mercifully changing the subject.
“I’m not sure. I think it may be the Torn between Two Lovers show,” said Apple.
“Whatever. I can’t wait to watch whatever it is,” said Happy.
“Why do we have to go to
my
house?” Apple asked. “Why can’t we go to yours, or Brooklyn’s?”
“You want to come to my house?
My
house?” Brooklyn asked. “With the Helicopter hovering around, making sure we don’t spill anything, telling us that we should be spending our time doing homework instead of watching trashy television? I don’t think so!”
“The Helicopter thinks my mother’s show is trashy?” Apple asked, perking up.
“Don’t get too excited, Apple. The Helicopter thinks
every
show on television is trashy. She even thinks the news is trashy.”
“Well, we can’t go to
my
house,” Happy said. “My sister will be there. And you know what Sailor is like. She’s a pain in the ass and will probably be blasting her music or talking on the phone nonstop. Her mere presence will annoy us, trust me. Plus, no one will be home at your house, Apple. We’re going to your house,”she decided. “Besides, Guy might be there, and I need him to see I’m television-worthy.”
“Well,
I
don’t think Guy will be there,” Apple said, as the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. “He’ll be at the show. But Aunt Hazel might be there. You never know.”
“Oh, I love Aunt Hazel!” Happy cried. “She’s just as much a character as Guy. God, Apple, your house is always so exciting. It’s
fantastic
.”
If only Happy really knew what went on, thought Apple.
“Fine, we’ll go to my house,” Apple said. “But I can’t promise that I’m going to watch the show with you.”
“Oh, you know you will,” Happy called out cheerfully.
After her last class, Apple headed to the front doors to meet up with Brooklyn and Happy.
Except it was not Brooklyn and Happy who were at the front doors. It was Happy and Zen, who were talking animatedly about something. Apple stopped dead before she got there, and then watched them laughing. She wondered what they were laughing about and immediately felt left out. She was shocked to find herself feeling this way. She hadn’t even managed to get more than two sentences out of Zen today, let alone make him laugh like that. Apple felt sick to her stomach. Why couldn’t she be more like Happy? Happy may idolize her mother, but Apple idolized Happy. Happy made everything she did seem effortless.
Apple took a deep breath and walked up to them. “Hey, guys,” she said. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
“There you are!” said Happy. “I thought you were going to bail. Zen was just telling me this hilarious story about the surfing lessons he took in Australia with a former champion.” Happy turned her attention fully back to Zen. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.”
“You
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