us was for what? I’m still the mess of a guy as the one on the hill that night.
“I should have stayed far away from here,” I say.
Her hand skims along my skin, goose bumps waking in her path. “No. You’re exactly where you should be.”
Her palm cups my cheek, and for a brief moment, I almost crack.
A lone tear spills down her cheek, and I wipe it with the pad of my thumb.
“I’m causing you pain again. That’s why I stayed away.”
“You’re living, Crosby. We made a mistake.” Her voice breaks.
I step out of the warmth she’s offering. “Don’t say that.” I didn’t go through two years of hell only to regret our decision.
“Don’t you see? We’re right where we were that night. Our pain still rules how we live our lives.”
“Except you have a boyfriend,” I sneer, ripping open my chest to show her the pain I bear from the fact that she’s been able to move on when I can’t.
“Don’t do that. I’ll be there with you, and so will Brax, if you let him. We’ll do the newspaper article together, and then maybe you’ll be able to move on.”
I pick up the weight and start doing bicep curls again, sweat immediately pouring off my face. Whether it’s the exertion or the panic from possibly sharing my story, I’m not sure.
Her hand rests on my forearm, and I slowly drop the dumbbell to the ground.
I sit on the bench, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. This is the deciding moment. I have my position back, and the girl is within my grasp, but it’s time for me to step up to the plate and swing, no matter if I hit or miss. I’m the one in control.
“I have to talk to Spencer.”
“Yeah, and I need to talk to Ariel. Want to go over to their dorm now?”
“Now?” I question, my eyebrows rising in the air.
“There’s no better time.” Her lips tick up because she never lets things be.
“Okay. I need to shower.”
I can guarantee her breathing halts for a moment and I assume she’s thinking of me naked under a stream of water.
“Yeah, sure. Of course,” she stutters.
I suck in my lips to push back my smile. “You could join me, if you’d like?”
She squares her shoulders, not amused by my humor. “Crosby,” she says my name with weakness.
“Wash me up, and help me with those hard to reach areas?”
“Crosby.”
I place my hands up in the air. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”
* * *
T wenty minutes later , I’m showered, and Ella’s mindlessly singing along with the radio in the passenger seat of my truck. We park outside Musselman Hall and the scent of her perfume floats over to me from the light breeze on this late summer night.
Ella calls Ariel, but she doesn’t answer. Luckily, another student is coming out of the dorm when we reach the doors, so I rush to grab ahold of one, and she squeezes through the opening.
“I’m going to head to Spencer’s room.”
“Meet you back here.” She smiles.
We each go to the gender-assigned wings.
Doors are open with music spilling out of the small rooms as I make my way to the fourth room on the right. I knock, and no one comes to the door, but I hear music playing—sultry, romantic music.
When I knock again, a kid from the room next door peeks his head out. “You looking for Spencer?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s indisposed at the moment.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
I draw back because I swear that my little brother has never made it to second base.
Then, Ella opens up the wing door and walks toward me.
“She’s not home. Her roommate said she’s with her boyfriend. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. School only started three days ago.” She’s as perplexed as I am.
“Well, at least she isn’t screwing her boyfriend. According to this guy, Spencer’s ‘indisposed’ in there with some girl.” I thumb toward the kid currently admiring Ella.
He appears in front of her before I glance back, holding his hand out. “Hi, I’m Caden.”
Ella shakes his hand while her eyes move
“I should have stayed far away from here,” I say.
Her hand skims along my skin, goose bumps waking in her path. “No. You’re exactly where you should be.”
Her palm cups my cheek, and for a brief moment, I almost crack.
A lone tear spills down her cheek, and I wipe it with the pad of my thumb.
“I’m causing you pain again. That’s why I stayed away.”
“You’re living, Crosby. We made a mistake.” Her voice breaks.
I step out of the warmth she’s offering. “Don’t say that.” I didn’t go through two years of hell only to regret our decision.
“Don’t you see? We’re right where we were that night. Our pain still rules how we live our lives.”
“Except you have a boyfriend,” I sneer, ripping open my chest to show her the pain I bear from the fact that she’s been able to move on when I can’t.
“Don’t do that. I’ll be there with you, and so will Brax, if you let him. We’ll do the newspaper article together, and then maybe you’ll be able to move on.”
I pick up the weight and start doing bicep curls again, sweat immediately pouring off my face. Whether it’s the exertion or the panic from possibly sharing my story, I’m not sure.
Her hand rests on my forearm, and I slowly drop the dumbbell to the ground.
I sit on the bench, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. This is the deciding moment. I have my position back, and the girl is within my grasp, but it’s time for me to step up to the plate and swing, no matter if I hit or miss. I’m the one in control.
“I have to talk to Spencer.”
“Yeah, and I need to talk to Ariel. Want to go over to their dorm now?”
“Now?” I question, my eyebrows rising in the air.
“There’s no better time.” Her lips tick up because she never lets things be.
“Okay. I need to shower.”
I can guarantee her breathing halts for a moment and I assume she’s thinking of me naked under a stream of water.
“Yeah, sure. Of course,” she stutters.
I suck in my lips to push back my smile. “You could join me, if you’d like?”
She squares her shoulders, not amused by my humor. “Crosby,” she says my name with weakness.
“Wash me up, and help me with those hard to reach areas?”
“Crosby.”
I place my hands up in the air. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”
* * *
T wenty minutes later , I’m showered, and Ella’s mindlessly singing along with the radio in the passenger seat of my truck. We park outside Musselman Hall and the scent of her perfume floats over to me from the light breeze on this late summer night.
Ella calls Ariel, but she doesn’t answer. Luckily, another student is coming out of the dorm when we reach the doors, so I rush to grab ahold of one, and she squeezes through the opening.
“I’m going to head to Spencer’s room.”
“Meet you back here.” She smiles.
We each go to the gender-assigned wings.
Doors are open with music spilling out of the small rooms as I make my way to the fourth room on the right. I knock, and no one comes to the door, but I hear music playing—sultry, romantic music.
When I knock again, a kid from the room next door peeks his head out. “You looking for Spencer?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s indisposed at the moment.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
I draw back because I swear that my little brother has never made it to second base.
Then, Ella opens up the wing door and walks toward me.
“She’s not home. Her roommate said she’s with her boyfriend. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. School only started three days ago.” She’s as perplexed as I am.
“Well, at least she isn’t screwing her boyfriend. According to this guy, Spencer’s ‘indisposed’ in there with some girl.” I thumb toward the kid currently admiring Ella.
He appears in front of her before I glance back, holding his hand out. “Hi, I’m Caden.”
Ella shakes his hand while her eyes move
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