that bullshit again! I gave up everything I knew to be with you, and all you can say is that you care for me.” His voice was cold and harsh. “I can’t go on like this. You need to make up your mind about us. You either want me, or you don’t.”
I watched how the fine muscles in his cheek quivered with anger. “Stop it, Dallas! I’ve got enough to handle without you throwing ultimatums at me,” I shouted.
Dallas turned away from me. “I can’t talk to you anymore. Every time we get on the subject of your feelings for me, you clam up.” He walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed his pajama bottoms lying across the comforter. “I’m going to sleep in the guest room next door.” He went to the bathroom and pulled his robe off the hook behind the door. “I’ll tell your father in the morning that you’ve agreed to go to the psychologist,” he added as he kept his back to me.
“ And what if I don’t want to go to anyone?”
He turned to me. “You’ll go to placate your father. He wants this and I couldn’t talk him out of it.” He pulled a white card out of his pants pocket and threw it on the bed. “The name and number are on the card. Maybe you can finally open up to someone because you sure as hell have never been able to open up to me.”
I made my way across the room. “I would have thought after last night…”
He threw his robe and pajamas over his shoulder and then walked to my bedroom door. “Having sex with me is not opening up to me, Nicci!” he snapped.
“ I beg to differ,” I coolly objected.
He reached the door and placed his hand on the brass doorknob. “I gave up my past when we started our life together in Connecticut. But you have never really put your past behind you, Nicci. And you need to do that, otherwise we don’t stand a chance.” He hurried through the door and then slammed it behind him.
I sat down on my bed. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to see some shrink!” I called out in the empty room.
And that, I had convinced myself, was my final word on the matter. But as I sat on the bed, the small white card Dallas had thrown onto the comforter distracted me. I reached over and picked up the card, kneading it between my fingers for a few minutes before I finely got up the nerve to look down and read it.
Chapter Five
Dr. Andrea Appell was a psychologist who apparently specialized in stress disorders. At least that is what my father told me two days later when he took me to my nine o’ clock appointment with the woman.
“ Just talk to her, Nicci. Please do this for me,” my father begged as he dropped me outside of the medical office building across from Touro Hospital on Prytania Street. “She came highly recommended and I’m told she is the best. So give her a try. Dallas will be by to pick you up in about an hour.”
Why I had made the appointment to go to the psychologist that morning had resulted from an overburden of guilt from my father. Uncle Lance had advised me to just go along with my father’s wishes.
“ The less he worries about you, the less suspicious he will be of the time we are going to have to spend together in order to find out what happened to David.” Uncle Lance had whispered to me as I had walked out the front door of my father’s home earlier that morning.
I remember at the time thinking he was right, but as I stood outside of Dr. Appell’s office, I began to have doubts about my uncle’s game plan. It’s one thing to think you are crazy, but it’s quite another thing entirely to seek help for it.
“ Welcome, Nicci,” a very tall woman with sandy brown hair said as I walked into the office. “I’m Andrea Appell. I’m so glad you could make it today. Do you mind if I call you Nicci?”
I shook my head. “No, Nicci is fine.”
Her small office was decorated in soft browns and pale earth tones. The assorted small glass tables on either end of her brown leather couch were filled with glowing candles. Soothing
I watched how the fine muscles in his cheek quivered with anger. “Stop it, Dallas! I’ve got enough to handle without you throwing ultimatums at me,” I shouted.
Dallas turned away from me. “I can’t talk to you anymore. Every time we get on the subject of your feelings for me, you clam up.” He walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed his pajama bottoms lying across the comforter. “I’m going to sleep in the guest room next door.” He went to the bathroom and pulled his robe off the hook behind the door. “I’ll tell your father in the morning that you’ve agreed to go to the psychologist,” he added as he kept his back to me.
“ And what if I don’t want to go to anyone?”
He turned to me. “You’ll go to placate your father. He wants this and I couldn’t talk him out of it.” He pulled a white card out of his pants pocket and threw it on the bed. “The name and number are on the card. Maybe you can finally open up to someone because you sure as hell have never been able to open up to me.”
I made my way across the room. “I would have thought after last night…”
He threw his robe and pajamas over his shoulder and then walked to my bedroom door. “Having sex with me is not opening up to me, Nicci!” he snapped.
“ I beg to differ,” I coolly objected.
He reached the door and placed his hand on the brass doorknob. “I gave up my past when we started our life together in Connecticut. But you have never really put your past behind you, Nicci. And you need to do that, otherwise we don’t stand a chance.” He hurried through the door and then slammed it behind him.
I sat down on my bed. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to see some shrink!” I called out in the empty room.
And that, I had convinced myself, was my final word on the matter. But as I sat on the bed, the small white card Dallas had thrown onto the comforter distracted me. I reached over and picked up the card, kneading it between my fingers for a few minutes before I finely got up the nerve to look down and read it.
Chapter Five
Dr. Andrea Appell was a psychologist who apparently specialized in stress disorders. At least that is what my father told me two days later when he took me to my nine o’ clock appointment with the woman.
“ Just talk to her, Nicci. Please do this for me,” my father begged as he dropped me outside of the medical office building across from Touro Hospital on Prytania Street. “She came highly recommended and I’m told she is the best. So give her a try. Dallas will be by to pick you up in about an hour.”
Why I had made the appointment to go to the psychologist that morning had resulted from an overburden of guilt from my father. Uncle Lance had advised me to just go along with my father’s wishes.
“ The less he worries about you, the less suspicious he will be of the time we are going to have to spend together in order to find out what happened to David.” Uncle Lance had whispered to me as I had walked out the front door of my father’s home earlier that morning.
I remember at the time thinking he was right, but as I stood outside of Dr. Appell’s office, I began to have doubts about my uncle’s game plan. It’s one thing to think you are crazy, but it’s quite another thing entirely to seek help for it.
“ Welcome, Nicci,” a very tall woman with sandy brown hair said as I walked into the office. “I’m Andrea Appell. I’m so glad you could make it today. Do you mind if I call you Nicci?”
I shook my head. “No, Nicci is fine.”
Her small office was decorated in soft browns and pale earth tones. The assorted small glass tables on either end of her brown leather couch were filled with glowing candles. Soothing
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