Sailmaker by Rosanne Hawke Page B

without much noise. Once I’m out I can hear the squawks of gulls, protecting their nests maybe; some penguins arguing. I can see well enough after all, so I leave the torch off. The lighthouse is dark against the grey sky – only the light on the top flashing every ten seconds. Have to admit it though; I’m spooked. Ms Bosse tells us not to use clichés (that’s saying it the same as everyone else) but it really does feel like something’s crawling real slow up my spine. With spiky legs. I’m standing as still as I can, waiting for the sound again. I go a bit closer, not much, and there it is again. Clang, clang. It sounds like someone’s walking up the steel stairs, a spanner in hand, to fix something in the light room. They’re banging the spanner on the rail as they go. No one can go up there, of course, the lighthouse is always locked. Not even tourists, not even the sailmaker. No wonder Vern thinks there’s a ghost. Even I am wondering now.
    Vern’s never worried about the clanging. Always been there, he reckons. It’s the rustling in the kitchen he doesn’t much like, as if the ghost has forgotten the rules. Vern’s happy for a ghost to fiddle around in a locked lighthouse, but not in his kitchen. Though when you think about it, Vern’s kitchen was the head keeper’s too. The one they reckon is the ghost. There’s no point me staying out here. I don’t want to go any closer; don’t want to see a ghost. The clanging stops when I go inside, just like it was put on for my benefit.
    I tell Vern in the morning. ‘I heard the clanging.’ He’s watching me with that one eye of his. I think when you’ve only got one it learns to do the work of two.
    â€˜Quite something, isn’t it?’
    â€˜Yeah.’ This time I don’t tell him that I think he’s got rats. I really have nothing much to say. Though the rustling in the kitchen could be rats. Some must have jumped ship years ago. If I came one more night, I could say for sure. Last night I couldn’t stay awake after I got back in. I reckon those pills make me more tired. When I come again I’ll have to not take them – just to stay awake.
    Mr Pham and Mei come to get me in the Sea Wolf . I’m wondering where Dev is and Mei tells me. ‘His sister is in hospital and he stayed longer.’ I hear a slight buzz on the edge of my brain. So this is it then. I know I’m not the only one in Dev’s life – can’t expect that, I guess – but I can’t help wishing I’m the one he likes best, the only one he wants to be with. It sounds so selfish. Only babies cry to be picked up all the time.
    Vern’s heard what Mei said and he’s watching me. As I look up at him, he nods at the lighthouse. How can he know what I’m thinking? He’s right though, I do want to be the lighthouse, not a piece of sponge or a tinnie tossed around by the high tide.
    I thank Vern for letting me stay over and I jump into the boat. Then I tell Mei about the clanging.
    â€˜It’s real,’ is mostly all I say. Her eyes are dark and huge. She’s glad she’s only hearing it second-hand.
    When I get home, only Gran’s there. My relief at finding Zoe gone is short-lived. ‘She went to help Dev. Might be something she can do to help. Laundry maybe.’
    I must be staring, for Gran comes over. ‘Are you all right, Joel? Nancy will get better. Some gallstone trouble.’ She thinks I’m worried about Nancy. If only that was all. When you’ve just decided you’re going to be a lighthouse and not a sandcastle, why do the wind and the waves pound on you even stronger than before?

16
    It feels like there’s a storm brewing in my head. Last day of the school term doesn’t make it any better. Not at first anyway. Ms Bosse says the word ‘medication’. Out loud. I turn. No one seems to have heard –