Sammy Keyes and the Wild Things by Wendelin Van Draanen Page A

up!” Gabby snaps at Cricket.
    â€œ
You
shut up!” Cricket snaps back.
    â€œSnoooort!”
goes my nose.
    â€œSHUT UP!” Bella hollers into the canyon.
    â€œS HUT UP . . . S HUT UP . . . S HUT UP . . . ,” goes the canyon.
    â€œAnd quit it, Sammy, would you?” Cricket snaps. “It’s just a little
fly
.”
    â€œBut it’s wedged up there!” I wail. “It’s practically in my
sinuses
.”
    Gabby turns on me. “Then suck it up and spit it
out
already!”
    â€œOoooh!” I squeal. “That’s gross!”
    â€œGROSS!” Bella hollers.
    â€œG ROSS . . . G ROSS . . . G ROSS . . .”
    And I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t stand being around
any
of them anymore. I got off the rock and shuffled away as fast as I could, thinking, I don’t care if it’s a million miles away, I don’t care if I have blisters screaming and a fly up my nose, I’m going
home
.
    But Cricket catches up to me and says, “Sammy, I’m sorry I yelled at you. Gabby was driving me crazy.” She swings around in front of me. “Is it still buzzing?”
    I shake my head. “But it
is
still up there! This is no ‘phantom fly’!”
    â€œI’m really sorry, okay?” She walks with me as I storm along. “I guess you don’t like camping after all. I . . . I really thought you would. I always thought you were, you know,
tough
.”
    Great. Now I’ve got screaming blisters, a fly up my nose, and a totally destroyed ego.
    I throw her a look that would’ve singed steel.
    â€œI didn’t mean anything
bad
by that. I just—”
    â€œNever
mind
!” I snap. “I just want to be left alone, okay?”
    â€œSorry,” she says, hurrying off like a dog with its tail between its legs.
    â€œCricket!” I shout after her, because who wants to be a blistery fly-up-her-nose whiny
meanie
?
    She turns around.
    I shuffle over to her, saying, “Look. I’m sorry to let you down, but I’m just not used to this. I don’t know how it all works. I’ve got blisters and a fly up my nose, and I feel like a wimp.” I turn to the side, snort again, but nothing comes out.
    â€œTry what Gabby said.”
    I pull a face. “That is just too gross!”
    She shrugs. “Worse than having a fly up your nose?”
    So I let out all my air, then suck up hard, and
fwap,
the fly shoots up, back, and down into my mouth. “Eeew!” I wail, kind of prancing in place. “Eeeew!”
    â€œSpit it out! Spit it out!”
    Like I’m gonna swallow it?
    So I rasp it forward and hock a big ol’ fly loogie onto the ground, which we both immediately squat to look at.
    â€œSee!” I shout. “You call that a phantom fly???”
    â€œNooooo,” she says. “And it’s big! It’s like the condor of all flies!”
    It was actually just a little black wad in a puddle of snot, but the fact that she’d called it the condor of all flies was so nice. And so funny! So before I can remember how mad and miserable I am, I start laughing, which makes Cricket start laughing, too, and pretty soon we’re both hysterical.
    Finally she brushes away a tear and says, “It will get better, Sammy. I promise.”
    I’m still kind of hiccuping with laughter. “Oh, yeah? When? After condor
scorpions
attack?” And I guess I was kinda over the edge, because I thought that was the funniest darn thing I’d ever heard.
    Anyway, we wound up going back over to Bella and Gabby, who were now
both
hollering stupid stuff across the canyon.
    â€œEat!”
    â€œE AT . . . EAT . . . EAT . . . ”
    â€œAt!”
    â€œA T . . . AT . . . AT . . . ”
    â€œJoe’s!”
    â€œJ OE’S . . . JOE’S . . . JOE’S . . . ”
    Then Gabby said, “I know, I know, I know! Let’s all say our own names at the same