then,” I countered, unable to hold back the words.
He chuckled, scratching his jaw. His smile was crooked when he said, “See you later, Tater Tot.”
When I climbed into bed that night I felt so confused.
For the last seven years I’d blamed Jude for Graham’s death. I’d built this hatred up inside me. Now, between what he and Rowan said I felt lost, like maybe it really wasn’t his fault.
But if I didn’t hate Jude, what was I supposed to do with all this anger inside of me?
Chapter Six
Even though it was chilly, I sat outside on one of the many benches that dotted the campus grounds eating a banana. I didn’t want to get caught out with Jude while I was hungry again. I might hurl another McFlurry at his head and that would be a real shame.
“You know,” the voice sounded right beside me, “I could make a really dirty joke right now about you and that banana, but I’d like to live to see tomorrow so I’ll keep quiet.”
I looked over at Jude, continuing to chew happily on my banana. I wouldn’t let him faze me. “Are you ready?” I asked.
He nodded. “I think the better question is are you ready?”
“I have to be,” I replied. I stood and slung my backpack over one shoulder as I followed Jude to his truck. If there was one thing I knew Jude loved, it was that truck. It was an older model Ford with a shiny blue paint job. No matter the weather, it always sparkled like it had just been washed. Maybe it had.
He opened the truck door for me and I climbed inside.
I didn’t thank him.
Rowan had made me feel crazy for hating Jude. I thought for sure after she read the letter she’d be on my side, but she still defended him. Then after my talk with Jude I felt unsure about the whole thing. I still didn’t like him, I probably never would, but the overwhelming burn of hate was mysteriously gone from me. Well, maybe not gone , but redirected…at the people I probably should’ve been angry at from the beginning.
“You look tired,” Jude commented, taking in the bruise like shadows under my eyes.
Jude may have been a womanizer, but he also noticed more than most guys. I’d hoped I’d be able to hide them, but no such luck. Even Rowan had asked about them. I’d given her a mumbled answer that made no sense, but with Jude I found myself saying, “That’ll happen when you’re up all night thinking about the last seven years of your life.”
“Tatum—”
“No,” I cut him off. “I really don’t need to hear whatever it is you think you have to say. You didn’t lose your brother. You didn’t have to find that note. You don’t have to live with this constant pain. ” My breath stuttered and I looked away, hoping to get a better grip on my emotions. “Please, leave it alone.”
He sighed heavily, not at all pleased with my request. “For now,” he reluctantly agreed and I felt relieved to be let off the hook, even if it was only temporary.
“Is our bet still on?” He asked, filling the silence that loomed like a stormy cloud in the truck.
“Sure,” I shrugged. At least the bet would give me something to think about other than Graham and the fact that his suicide really wasn’t Jude’s fault and the people I should blame were the ones living in my house.
“Why don’t you ask me a question first?” He suggested, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel.
I leaned my head against the headrest, trying to think of a good question. So far our questions had been relatively useless and silly. I wanted to know something personal about him. So, I asked the question that had been bugging me the longest. “Why do you want to be a nurse?”
He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound. I wasn’t sure if he was mad about the question or what. His eyes flicked my way for a moment and then back to the road. “I should have known you’d ask me that one eventually.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“You don’t have to answer it if you really don’t want
He chuckled, scratching his jaw. His smile was crooked when he said, “See you later, Tater Tot.”
When I climbed into bed that night I felt so confused.
For the last seven years I’d blamed Jude for Graham’s death. I’d built this hatred up inside me. Now, between what he and Rowan said I felt lost, like maybe it really wasn’t his fault.
But if I didn’t hate Jude, what was I supposed to do with all this anger inside of me?
Chapter Six
Even though it was chilly, I sat outside on one of the many benches that dotted the campus grounds eating a banana. I didn’t want to get caught out with Jude while I was hungry again. I might hurl another McFlurry at his head and that would be a real shame.
“You know,” the voice sounded right beside me, “I could make a really dirty joke right now about you and that banana, but I’d like to live to see tomorrow so I’ll keep quiet.”
I looked over at Jude, continuing to chew happily on my banana. I wouldn’t let him faze me. “Are you ready?” I asked.
He nodded. “I think the better question is are you ready?”
“I have to be,” I replied. I stood and slung my backpack over one shoulder as I followed Jude to his truck. If there was one thing I knew Jude loved, it was that truck. It was an older model Ford with a shiny blue paint job. No matter the weather, it always sparkled like it had just been washed. Maybe it had.
He opened the truck door for me and I climbed inside.
I didn’t thank him.
Rowan had made me feel crazy for hating Jude. I thought for sure after she read the letter she’d be on my side, but she still defended him. Then after my talk with Jude I felt unsure about the whole thing. I still didn’t like him, I probably never would, but the overwhelming burn of hate was mysteriously gone from me. Well, maybe not gone , but redirected…at the people I probably should’ve been angry at from the beginning.
“You look tired,” Jude commented, taking in the bruise like shadows under my eyes.
Jude may have been a womanizer, but he also noticed more than most guys. I’d hoped I’d be able to hide them, but no such luck. Even Rowan had asked about them. I’d given her a mumbled answer that made no sense, but with Jude I found myself saying, “That’ll happen when you’re up all night thinking about the last seven years of your life.”
“Tatum—”
“No,” I cut him off. “I really don’t need to hear whatever it is you think you have to say. You didn’t lose your brother. You didn’t have to find that note. You don’t have to live with this constant pain. ” My breath stuttered and I looked away, hoping to get a better grip on my emotions. “Please, leave it alone.”
He sighed heavily, not at all pleased with my request. “For now,” he reluctantly agreed and I felt relieved to be let off the hook, even if it was only temporary.
“Is our bet still on?” He asked, filling the silence that loomed like a stormy cloud in the truck.
“Sure,” I shrugged. At least the bet would give me something to think about other than Graham and the fact that his suicide really wasn’t Jude’s fault and the people I should blame were the ones living in my house.
“Why don’t you ask me a question first?” He suggested, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel.
I leaned my head against the headrest, trying to think of a good question. So far our questions had been relatively useless and silly. I wanted to know something personal about him. So, I asked the question that had been bugging me the longest. “Why do you want to be a nurse?”
He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound. I wasn’t sure if he was mad about the question or what. His eyes flicked my way for a moment and then back to the road. “I should have known you’d ask me that one eventually.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
“You don’t have to answer it if you really don’t want
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