Sawman Werebear (Saw Bears #4) by T. S. Joyce Page A

you at Sammy’s Bar. I was mad and wanted to feel wild. I stayed late that night, trying to muster up the courage to talk to you, but you left with your brother, and I felt awful. Lower than low. I hated myself for not being braver. For not telling Momma to piss off when she says awful things to me and for not going after what I wanted. I wanted you, and I let you walk right by me, within inches, and couldn’t even get the word ‘hello’ past my lips.” Everly swallowed hard and dropped her gaze to her hands. She couldn’t do this if she saw Brighton looking at her like he was. Like she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. She already knew that. “He stayed behind, Connor. Bought me a drink and talked real nice to me. Even got me feeling relaxed. He seemed so nice, and he got my number before we left that night. And to my utter surprise, he called me the next day, and the next. We talked for hours on the phone, and he seemed so genuine. He acted happy to talk to me. And I had nothing to compare him to because I hadn’t dated anyone before him, so I thought I’d lucked out and found a keeper. He kissed me on our second date. It was my first,” Everly admitted, daring a glance up.
    Brighton looked sick and had his elbows on his knees, chin resting on his clenched fists.
    “I took him back to my place on our third date because it felt like the natural progression of things, and dammit, I didn’t know how this all worked.” Tears stung her eyes as she murmured, “He took me from behind the first time. It hurt so badly, but he said it was because I wasn’t very good at it yet. I was so stupid and believed him. I thought if I was better in bed, it wouldn’t hurt like that, and the next time he took me out, he seemed so angry. Like he was disappointed in how unworldly I was. That night we tried again, and I hid how bad it hurt as best I could, but he bit my shoulder at the end and I screamed. I cried and cried after he was through, but he only stood in the doorway of my bedroom with a smirk on his face. He said that now I would be a better match for his needs.” She shrugged. “I was done, though. Good thing because he never called me again. And then the seizures started, and I didn’t have the time or energy to think about the reasons he didn’t want me anymore.” She inhaled and held her breath in her lungs, then looked up at Brighton with the fervent hope that he didn’t hate her now, too.
    Brighton scrubbed his hands down his face and let off a shuddering breath as he linked his hands behind his head. His face was contorted with pain. He looked like she felt inside.
    “Say something,” she begged.
    His Adam’s apple dipped into the small cave at the base of his throat. His eyes were so silver, they were almost white like snow. “I did this to you. I asked the boys if we could go back to Boomer’s and eat, just so I could watch you wait tables again. Connor was an asshole, and his bear was on the hunt for a mate. I hated him, and the feeling was mutual. We never got on. He saw me watching you at the café and asked me about you. I clammed up and never asked to go eat at Boomer’s again because I didn’t want his attention on you.”
    She shook her head and touched his hand. “This isn’t your fault.”
    He stepped back, out of her reach. “Don’t you see?” he asked in an agonized rasp, his eyes filling with some emotion she couldn’t fathom. “Connor did this because of me. He hurt you because of me. That’s just the way he was. Every seizure you’ve had is on me.”
    “Brighton, that’s ridiculous.”
    “You don’t understand. Connor claimed the woman I wanted just because he was a fucking prick with a vendetta. And now you’ll pay your whole life because of my interest in you.” He stood and strode off into the night. And right on the edge of the tree line, he hesitated and said over his shoulder, “I can’t avenge you, Ever. Connor is cold in his grave already.” Then he