Say Cheese - and Die Screaming! by R. L. Stine Page B

They
wouldn’t make him this huge!” she declared.
    “We’d better take him to an allergy doctor,” Dad murmured, rubbing his chin.
    “We’ll take him to Dr. Weiss first,” Mom argued. “Dr. Weiss can tell us what
kind of doctor to take him to.”
    They started to argue about what kind of doctor I needed.
    I waddled out of the room. It took all my strength just to raise my enormous
legs. My chins sagged down over my neck. My big stomach bounced out of the room
ahead of me.
    I knew that no doctor could help me. I knew I didn’t have an allergy. And I
knew I didn’t become a blimp because of candy bars.
    The snapshot from the evil camera made me look as big as a mountain. And the
snapshot had come true.
    No doctor could slim me down. No diet would work.
    Later, I begged Mom and Dad to let me stay home. “Please don’t make me go to
school tomorrow like this,” I pleaded. “The kids will laugh at me. I’ll be so
embarrassed.”
    “You can’t miss school,” Dad insisted. “What if it takes weeks and weeks to
get you back to normal?”
    “The kids won’t laugh at you,” Mom added. “Your friends will understand that
you’re sick.”
    I begged and whined. I even got down on my fat knees to plead with them.
    But would they listen? No.
     
    “Don’t be embarrassed,” Dad said as I waddled out the door to go to school
the next morning.
    Don’t be embarrassed?
    I wore one of his baggy running suits—and it was tight on me!
    I felt embarrassed just walking down the street. When cars drove past, I knew
the people inside were staring at me. Laughing at the big mound of Jell-O bouncing along the sidewalk.
    I didn’t want to walk to school. But my parents have a Honda Civic—and I
didn’t fit in the car!
    Kids were staring as I squeezed through the front door of Pitts Landing
Middle School. But everyone was kind. No one made jokes. In fact, no one said a
word to me.
    I think they were afraid to come up to me. Afraid I might fall on them! I
really did look like one of the balloons in the Thanksgiving Day parade!
    The morning went pretty well. I kept to myself and tried to hide in corners.
It wasn’t easy to hide. But everyone left me alone.
    Until I stepped into Mr. Saur’s class.
    He was as sour as ever. And he embarrassed me in front of the whole class.
    “Greg, I don’t think you’ll fit into a chair,” he said, rolling his wooden
pointer between his hands. “Why don’t you just stand by the window.”
    I didn’t say anything. I waddled over to the side of the room.
    The room fell silent. The other kids didn’t laugh. They could see that there
was something seriously wrong with me.
    But Mr. Saur insisted on giving me a hard time.
    “Greg, forget the window,” he said. “If you stand there, I’m afraid you’ll block out all the sunlight.” Then he smiled.
    Again, no one laughed. I think the other kids felt sorry for me. Even Donny
and Brian weren’t cracking jokes.
    “Greg, I want you to go see the nurse,” Mr. Saur ordered. “I want her to
discuss the four food groups with you. I think you’ve been eating too much of
all four!”
    I think that was supposed to be a cruel joke. But no one laughed.
    I turned my bulk around and stared at him. Was he serious? Was he really
sending me to the nurse?
    “Get going,” he said, pointing to the door.
    I turned and shuffled heavily out of the classroom. I expected Donny to stick
out his big foot and try to trip me, the way he always does.
    But he stared straight ahead, as silent and still as everyone else in the
class.
    I was glad. If he tripped me, I knew I’d never be able to get up.
    I pulled myself down the hall, thinking angry thoughts about Mr. Saur. Why
did he make fun of me in front of everyone? Why was he so cruel?
    I couldn’t answer my questions. Besides, I felt too angry to think clearly.
I’ll pay him back some day. That’s what I told myself. I’ll do something mean to
him. I’ll embarrass old Sourball in front of