Natsinet found herself joining other kids from the community who were looking for their own friends. Some of the children were crying, while others were being carried by parents who knew they wouldn’t be able to see whatever it was they were searching for, and therefore didn’t know quite what to do.
All across the planet, in every country in the world, every single imaginary friend had
vanished
. Young children everywhere were refusing to go to school, screaming that they wanted their friends back and describing how their friends had been sick. Adults frantically telephoned one another or met to try to figure out what was happening. Was this a mass psychosis? Was there something bad in the water supply? Reports of hysterical children were coming in from all over the world, and the grown-ups couldn’t seem to wrap their minds around what was happening.
How could all these kids be going nuts at the same time?
Many of the duller children, sitting in front of their televisions playing shoot-’em-up video games, simply turned up the volume to drown out the voices of kids crying for their friends. But for the kids whose brains cranked and crackled properly, this was a monumental personal crisis.
The worldwide disappearance of imaginary friends was leaving the press, and in particular television newscasters, in a bind. This was clearly a big story, but there wasn’t any footage they could broadcast, aside from kids walking around their neighborhoods shouting for lost giants or robots, withthe occasional clip of an elementary school girl babbling into a camera about how her jeweled pony was gone. And viewers didn’t like to see little kids cry. Confused cops stumbled through interviews, promising to look into the disappearances immediately, though when asked what they would be looking for, they couldn’t quite say.
Ted sat on his couch with a red-eyed Adeline next to him, watching a local reporter interview the mother of a six-year-old boy, who was stomping through some hedges in the background:
“And what exactly is he looking for?”
“Well, he has a … friend … named Flappybappy. And when he woke up this morning, Flappybappy was gone.”
“What kind of friend is Flappybappy?”
“Flappybappy is … a manatee.”
“A manatee.”
“One of those elephant things that swim in rivers in Florida. I think he saw something about them on the Discovery Channel, and he’s had one ever since.”
“But this manatee walks on land.”
“That’s right. And he always carries doughnuts.”
“Were there any indications that … Flappybappy might go missing?”
“Well, my son said that he had recently broken out in these bumps, but I don’t really know what that means.”
Ted felt his sister looking at him. “I didn’t have anything to do with this, Adeline,” he said.
“EVERYBODY in the whole WORLD lost their friends! And they were all SICK with the same green spots that Scurvy got when YOU started using the patches!”
“I’m sure that there were some that had green bumps before I started using the patches.”
“There
weren’t,”
said Adeline. “I can
see
everybody’s abstract companions!
You
got Scurvy sick with the bumps, and then Eric caught the disease from Scurvy, and Eric passed it on, and pretty soon
all
of the ab-coms in the whole
world
got sick and it is ALL YOUR FAULT.”
“Have you ever read
The Crucible
?” said Ted. He knew that Adeline, being seven years old, had not. “It’s a play about witch trials, and in it, one girl starts saying that certain people are witches, and soon enough
all
of her friends are accusing people of being witches. Hysteria is contagious.”
“But this is happening ALL OVER THE WORLD.”
“Radio, Internet, television—kids are just hearing about it and saying they’re missing friends too, to get out of school.”
“ERIC THE PLANDA IS GONE AND I’M NOT TRYING TO MISS SCHOOL,” said Adeline, hitting the couch with both fists. “IT WAS YOU! YOU
All across the planet, in every country in the world, every single imaginary friend had
vanished
. Young children everywhere were refusing to go to school, screaming that they wanted their friends back and describing how their friends had been sick. Adults frantically telephoned one another or met to try to figure out what was happening. Was this a mass psychosis? Was there something bad in the water supply? Reports of hysterical children were coming in from all over the world, and the grown-ups couldn’t seem to wrap their minds around what was happening.
How could all these kids be going nuts at the same time?
Many of the duller children, sitting in front of their televisions playing shoot-’em-up video games, simply turned up the volume to drown out the voices of kids crying for their friends. But for the kids whose brains cranked and crackled properly, this was a monumental personal crisis.
The worldwide disappearance of imaginary friends was leaving the press, and in particular television newscasters, in a bind. This was clearly a big story, but there wasn’t any footage they could broadcast, aside from kids walking around their neighborhoods shouting for lost giants or robots, withthe occasional clip of an elementary school girl babbling into a camera about how her jeweled pony was gone. And viewers didn’t like to see little kids cry. Confused cops stumbled through interviews, promising to look into the disappearances immediately, though when asked what they would be looking for, they couldn’t quite say.
Ted sat on his couch with a red-eyed Adeline next to him, watching a local reporter interview the mother of a six-year-old boy, who was stomping through some hedges in the background:
“And what exactly is he looking for?”
“Well, he has a … friend … named Flappybappy. And when he woke up this morning, Flappybappy was gone.”
“What kind of friend is Flappybappy?”
“Flappybappy is … a manatee.”
“A manatee.”
“One of those elephant things that swim in rivers in Florida. I think he saw something about them on the Discovery Channel, and he’s had one ever since.”
“But this manatee walks on land.”
“That’s right. And he always carries doughnuts.”
“Were there any indications that … Flappybappy might go missing?”
“Well, my son said that he had recently broken out in these bumps, but I don’t really know what that means.”
Ted felt his sister looking at him. “I didn’t have anything to do with this, Adeline,” he said.
“EVERYBODY in the whole WORLD lost their friends! And they were all SICK with the same green spots that Scurvy got when YOU started using the patches!”
“I’m sure that there were some that had green bumps before I started using the patches.”
“There
weren’t,”
said Adeline. “I can
see
everybody’s abstract companions!
You
got Scurvy sick with the bumps, and then Eric caught the disease from Scurvy, and Eric passed it on, and pretty soon
all
of the ab-coms in the whole
world
got sick and it is ALL YOUR FAULT.”
“Have you ever read
The Crucible
?” said Ted. He knew that Adeline, being seven years old, had not. “It’s a play about witch trials, and in it, one girl starts saying that certain people are witches, and soon enough
all
of her friends are accusing people of being witches. Hysteria is contagious.”
“But this is happening ALL OVER THE WORLD.”
“Radio, Internet, television—kids are just hearing about it and saying they’re missing friends too, to get out of school.”
“ERIC THE PLANDA IS GONE AND I’M NOT TRYING TO MISS SCHOOL,” said Adeline, hitting the couch with both fists. “IT WAS YOU! YOU
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