Secrets of a Chalet Girl by Lorraine Wilson Page B

contributor. I hope you think the price you paid to go off and ‘find yourself’ was worth it.’
    The unfairness of it was a vicious kick to the kidneys.
    Tears rolled down behind Flora’s sunglasses and onto her cheeks. She tried to cry silently so she wouldn’t draw attention to herself.
    She’d been fond of Bob, he’d been so much more fatherly than her own dad and a kind boss to work for, however much she’d found the work boring. It’d been Bob who’d shown her how to change the oil in her car and how to use a power drill to put up pictures.
    My fault. My fault. My fault…
    She almost choked on her sobs, the breath catching in her chest, her body flooded with grief as the tears streamed down her cheeks. It didn’t seem to matter she hadn’t had a choice. Everyone hated her. Tom’s mum would blame her too. Margaret had already railed at her for ‘breaking my poor Tom’s heart.’
    She’d never been able to tell them about Tom punching her. Whether it was from irrational shame and shock or genuine pity and desire to prevent further grief she didn’t know. It was probably a mixture of all of the above. All she knew for sure was that when she tried to talk about it the words just wouldn’t come.
    And all she’d cared about at the time was getting away. She’d been certain they would always back Tom over her.
    Looks like I was right…
    Of course they had. They’d never really been
her
family.
    She couldn’t summon up enough embarrassment to check the tears running down her cheeks. Her fighting spirit had been crushed and at that moment she felt more lost than she ever had. She thought she’d bottomed out months ago. It went to show you could never let your guard down. The next shock or slap in the face might be just around the corner.
    “Hey Flora.” She heard Zac’s voice before she saw him, her vision too blurred with tears. He touched her lightly on the arm. “I was about to get a coffee and sit in the sun. I see you’ve had the same idea.”
    Then he fell quiet, she guessed he’d seen the tears escaping from beneath her sunglasses.
    “What’s wrong?” He frowned at her. “Is this about last night?”
    “No…oo,” she choked out an answer through her sobs.
    He crouched down next to her and with embarrassment she realised she couldn’t control her sobs. The tears kept pouring out.
    The dam had well and truly burst and she couldn’t do a thing about it.
    “I’m, s … s … sorry.” She looked into his face, the compassion she saw there only made her feel even worse.
    Great way to make an impression. So much for playing it cool.
    “Hey.” Zac pulled her sunglasses off and when he saw her face he sank down onto his knees in the snow, pulling her closely to his chest.
    She let him hold her, feeling limper than a rag doll. All the breath had been knocked out of her by the email, the bereavement, the blame…
    I should be able to deal with this. I will deal with it. But right now, right this second, I can’t.
    “What’s up?” He pulled back a little to examine her face.
    She stared wordlessly at him, aware of the other canteen clientele staring at them but too distraught to pull herself together.
    Great! I haven’t cried for months and I choose here and now to have a mini meltdown?
    Where on earth did she start?
    “It’s complicated.” She sniffed, grimacing in acknowledgement of the cliché but more concerned about whether she could find a tissue for her runny nose in any of her pockets. Looking like crap in front of Zac was clearly
de rigeur
.
    “I’ve got time for complicated, I’m not going anywhere,” he replied, his eyes serious, searching her face as though looking for clues of how he could solve her.
    He likes me…
    The thought flashed into her mind, jolting her and making her senses tingle. The realisation sent a ray of light into her murky thoughts. With everyone in her old life either hating her like Cathy or indifferent like her parents, having someone like