shout of defiance became a desperate plea for reassurance. A plea for someone to hold her, to be strong for her, to make her know that everything would be all right.
Peter
continued to look steadily at her. She felt the pull of his intense, blue gaze, and met his eyes. He simply stood there, yet she felt he could probe deep into her mind, into her soul and know everything she knew, know things she was only just discovering for herself.
He waited. In the silence, a new knowledge began to grow. The hand that still rested in
Peter
’s began to relax. It turned, almost of its own volition and clung to his. He tightened his clasp, and used it to pull her closer, to wrap his arms around her, to enfold her in a warmth that spread and soothed and comforted all the cold, hard, and yes, frightened, spots inside her.
It gave her enough courage to face the truth, “You don’t need me. You don’t need me to tell you what to do. You don’t need me to show you how the world works. And if you don’t need me, you won’t stay. You’ll go, and I’ll be on my own again. And this time it will be forever, because there will never be anyone like you, ever again.” Her voice broke completely. She buried her face into the hollow between
Peter
’s neck and his shoulder. She tried to burrow in, but nothing could prevent her hearing his words.
“It’s true. I don’t need you to run my life for me. I don’t need you to be able to get a job. I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently lifted her head away from his neck. He slid his fingers around under her chin and forced her to look at him. “But I need you. I need to be with you. I think, perhaps, you’re the reason I fell.”
A fine tremble worked its way up her spine. His breath whispered, warm in her ear, “It will be all right, Ellie. You can let things happen in their own time, and in their own way, and it will be all right.”
“You think that, but it isn’t always true. What if I let things happen in their own way, and your way doesn’t include me. If I don’t hold tight, you’ll go away. You’ll go away and you’ll never come back. You won’t want me any more, and I couldn’t stand that.”
He reached out a forefinger and wiped a teardrop from her cheek, “It doesn’t have to be that way. Let go, and trust that I will stay. Stay because I want to stay with you. Not because I have no choice.”
Her voice was a tiny thread, barely audible, but they were so close, so intertwined, she knew he heard every nuance, “Will you stay? If I let go, will you stay?”
“Yes, Ellie. I will stay. Because I want to. Because, more than I have ever wanted anything, I want to be with you. I have given up eternal life, given up my rank as an angel, and count it well lost because it has meant that I can have you.”
“Why?”
“In Heaven, there is love, but it is bland, cool, universal . There is no passion. On Earth, I have discovered both. A force that drives me to my knees with desire, that rings through every cell in my body, that takes my thoughts, and turns every one of them to the object of my love, of my passion. Every waking moment is filled with thoughts of the one I love, my dreams are about her. About you. I want to stay with you for as long as I remain on Earth. I never want to leave you. No matter what freedom I have, I will never be free of you, because I do not wish to be. Can never wish to be. Because I love you.”
Ellie looked into his clear blue yes, eyes that saw her, saw the fear she kept hidden, even from herself, recognized the anger that stemmed from that fear. He knew her better than anyone else on Earth, knew her and loved her.
As she loved him. She had tried to tell herself it was lust, tried to convince herself that her addiction was to his incredible body, his angel’s face, but the truth was there, emblazoned across her heart. She loved him. If – when – he was old, his skin wrinkled and
Peter
continued to look steadily at her. She felt the pull of his intense, blue gaze, and met his eyes. He simply stood there, yet she felt he could probe deep into her mind, into her soul and know everything she knew, know things she was only just discovering for herself.
He waited. In the silence, a new knowledge began to grow. The hand that still rested in
Peter
’s began to relax. It turned, almost of its own volition and clung to his. He tightened his clasp, and used it to pull her closer, to wrap his arms around her, to enfold her in a warmth that spread and soothed and comforted all the cold, hard, and yes, frightened, spots inside her.
It gave her enough courage to face the truth, “You don’t need me. You don’t need me to tell you what to do. You don’t need me to show you how the world works. And if you don’t need me, you won’t stay. You’ll go, and I’ll be on my own again. And this time it will be forever, because there will never be anyone like you, ever again.” Her voice broke completely. She buried her face into the hollow between
Peter
’s neck and his shoulder. She tried to burrow in, but nothing could prevent her hearing his words.
“It’s true. I don’t need you to run my life for me. I don’t need you to be able to get a job. I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently lifted her head away from his neck. He slid his fingers around under her chin and forced her to look at him. “But I need you. I need to be with you. I think, perhaps, you’re the reason I fell.”
A fine tremble worked its way up her spine. His breath whispered, warm in her ear, “It will be all right, Ellie. You can let things happen in their own time, and in their own way, and it will be all right.”
“You think that, but it isn’t always true. What if I let things happen in their own way, and your way doesn’t include me. If I don’t hold tight, you’ll go away. You’ll go away and you’ll never come back. You won’t want me any more, and I couldn’t stand that.”
He reached out a forefinger and wiped a teardrop from her cheek, “It doesn’t have to be that way. Let go, and trust that I will stay. Stay because I want to stay with you. Not because I have no choice.”
Her voice was a tiny thread, barely audible, but they were so close, so intertwined, she knew he heard every nuance, “Will you stay? If I let go, will you stay?”
“Yes, Ellie. I will stay. Because I want to. Because, more than I have ever wanted anything, I want to be with you. I have given up eternal life, given up my rank as an angel, and count it well lost because it has meant that I can have you.”
“Why?”
“In Heaven, there is love, but it is bland, cool, universal . There is no passion. On Earth, I have discovered both. A force that drives me to my knees with desire, that rings through every cell in my body, that takes my thoughts, and turns every one of them to the object of my love, of my passion. Every waking moment is filled with thoughts of the one I love, my dreams are about her. About you. I want to stay with you for as long as I remain on Earth. I never want to leave you. No matter what freedom I have, I will never be free of you, because I do not wish to be. Can never wish to be. Because I love you.”
Ellie looked into his clear blue yes, eyes that saw her, saw the fear she kept hidden, even from herself, recognized the anger that stemmed from that fear. He knew her better than anyone else on Earth, knew her and loved her.
As she loved him. She had tried to tell herself it was lust, tried to convince herself that her addiction was to his incredible body, his angel’s face, but the truth was there, emblazoned across her heart. She loved him. If – when – he was old, his skin wrinkled and
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