boiling? Was it because I couldn't have him? Was this some game to him?
I quickly stood and backed away from the bed. “I—uh...” I didn't know what to say to him, so I turned to Dommy. “I have to go now, but I'm sure I'll be back next Saturday, and maybe one day you can come to my house and I'll show you all the books I have. I'm sure your brother can drop you off.”
“I’d love that!” she squealed. “Oh, Kaddy, do you think Mommy will let me?”
“We can only ask, squirt.”
“All right, so I'll see you.” I waved, turned, and just about ran out of the room and house.
S aturday afternoon I spent with Momma watching an old video of Calamity Jane . It was a sing-song, corny movie, but that didn't matter; I enjoyed the time I spent with her. Until, she thought it was time for another sex-protection talk. She'd heard down the street yesterday that Josh was back in town. She knew how much it had hurt when he’d moved away in the first place.
“Have the two of you gotten back together?” she asked as we sat on the couch together.
“No, Momma. He's only been back a week.” I pointed out.
“Doesn't matter. Things can happen fast when two people have feelings for one another.”
My mind went straight to thinking of Kane, though I quickly squished those thoughts.
“Even though I still think there could be something between you and the good-looking Kane.” She smiled when I rolled my eyes at her. “I know, I know, he has a girlfriend. All I want to say is when the time comes, I want you to feel comfortable to come to me and say, ‘Momma I would like to go and see a doctor about birth control.’”
“Momma,” I barked.
“No, sweetheart, you have to be prepared for when you think the time does come. When you’re with a guy, they will try to pressure you into bed, but I can only hope that you will wait until you think you’re ready and have found the right guy to share that special moment with. All I am trying to get across is when you are ready, we will go and see a doctor together. Because the last thing I need is to be a grandmother when I’m still so young and beautiful.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. We both started laughing.
“I love you, Momma.”
“I know, sweetheart, and right back at you.” She smiled, giving me a quick hug as someone knocked on the front door. Momma carried our plates to the kitchen as I went to open the door.
My eyes widened when I found Josh standing there, looking great in a pair of light-denim jeans and a plain black tee.
“Surprise.” He smiled wider.
“Hi, ah, do you want to come in?” I moved aside enough for him to enter.
He shook his head and gestured to the porch step. “I can only stay for a second, but can we talk out here? It's such a nice afternoon.”
I stepped out and closed the door behind me, not before seeing Momma stick her head out of the kitchen and mouth ' Told you so. ' I shook my head, fighting a smile. I sat down next to him; he placed his arm around my shoulders.
“So, I wanted to...well, how ‘bout I just show you?” He gently turned my head with his other hand and kissed me. When he deepened the kiss, I felt a spark of something—interest, maybe? Still, I felt as though there was something missing. It wasn’t as though I didn't find him attractive, and it wasn’t that the kiss had done nothing for me. But was it enough?
He pulled back and grinned down at me, and I found myself smiling back. I had wished for this for many years, to be reunited with the one I thought I lost forever. Although, now it was here, I didn't know what to think, or what I should be feeling.
But I knew the big gap of nothingness in the pit of my heart waiting for someone special was not a
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