had only
one child, a boy, and the lady was not of an age where she could
hope for any more. She was overjoyed at getting the little girl,
and eager to shower the child with affection. I passed the baby
over to them with no qualms at all, and Miss Leith can rest assured
that she did the right thing.” ’
Lizzie folded the letter and placed it on
Amy’s lap. ‘And that’s it, except for “Best wishes” and “I remain”
and all that business.’ She slipped an arm around Amy’s shoulders
and gave her a squeeze. ‘It’s good, isn’t it? I mean, it’s all
right now. You don’t need to worry about it any more.’
‘Ann’s alive,’ Amy said quietly. ‘She’s
alive.’ She blinked away the tears and gave Lizzie a watery smile.
‘Thank you.’
‘That’s all right.’ Lizzie patted Amy’s
shoulder and stood up. ‘I’ll put the jug on and we can have a nice
cup of tea.’
‘I should be getting home, really.’
‘Oh, you can spare another ten minutes,’
said Lizzie. ‘I could do with a bit of company, with Frank out. And
I’ll have the little fellows waking up before long, there won’t be
a moment’s peace after that till I’ve got the whole lot of them in
bed tonight. Stay for a cup of tea.’
It was not difficult to let herself be
persuaded. Amy carefully tucked the letter away in her dress and
went out to the kitchen with Lizzie.
‘They sound nice people, don’t you think?’
she asked, still seeking reassurance. ‘Mature, she said, not
elderly—I wouldn’t want her to be with old people.’
‘They’re just right, I’m sure.’
‘And they must have wanted a little girl a
lot, to go to all that trouble. You know, it’s silly,’ Amy mused,
‘whenever I think about Ann, I think of her as a tiny little baby.
But she’s not at all. She’s growing up now.’
‘How old is she?’
‘Ten,’ Amy answered without hesitation.
‘She’ll be eleven in November. Just twelve months older than
Mal.’
‘A year and a half older than Maudie,
then.’
‘Mmm. I wonder what she’s like. Is she
little like me? She’s got dark hair like me, I know that. And her
eyes were the bluest blue you could think of—but babies’ eyes
change sometimes. She’s pretty, I just know she is, because she was
such a pretty baby. And clever, too, I’m sure.’
‘She’s sure to be a lovely girl,’ said
Lizzie. She put the teapot on the table and sat down in the chair
next to Amy’s. ‘Probably more of a thinker like Beth instead of a
chatterbox like Maudie.’
‘I bet she’s got lots of pretty clothes and
things. All those lovely frilly dresses you can buy in the big
shops. And fancy dolls, and… oh, I don’t know, all sorts of things.
And books—I hope they buy her lots of books.’
‘They sounded pretty rich. She’s probably
got everything a child could want.’
‘But they sounded nice, too, and that’s the
most important thing. They really wanted Ann. They really love
her.’
‘Of course they do.’
‘So she’s happy. I want her to be happy,
Lizzie, really I do.’
‘I know you do,’ Lizzie said, looking
puzzled by her insistence.
Amy stared into the distance, but her eyes
did not see the walls of Lizzie’s cosy kitchen. Instead they saw a
tiny baby, drawing its life from her and seeking no existence
beyond the circle of her arms.
‘She won’t ever think about me,’ she said
quietly. ‘She’s so busy and happy, she won’t ever wonder what I was
like. She won’t wish I hadn’t given her away.’
‘That’s for the best.’
‘I know. I know it is. I just wish… no, I
don’t really. I’m glad she’s happy. But… but she won’t want
me.’
‘Amy, I think you should stop talking about
this stuff,’ Lizzie said, a note of uncertainty in her voice. ‘Your
little girl’s safe and happy, and that’s all you need to worry
about.
‘I know. That doesn’t stop me thinking about
her. It doesn’t stop me wanting her.’ Amy blinked her eyes rapidly
to clear
one child, a boy, and the lady was not of an age where she could
hope for any more. She was overjoyed at getting the little girl,
and eager to shower the child with affection. I passed the baby
over to them with no qualms at all, and Miss Leith can rest assured
that she did the right thing.” ’
Lizzie folded the letter and placed it on
Amy’s lap. ‘And that’s it, except for “Best wishes” and “I remain”
and all that business.’ She slipped an arm around Amy’s shoulders
and gave her a squeeze. ‘It’s good, isn’t it? I mean, it’s all
right now. You don’t need to worry about it any more.’
‘Ann’s alive,’ Amy said quietly. ‘She’s
alive.’ She blinked away the tears and gave Lizzie a watery smile.
‘Thank you.’
‘That’s all right.’ Lizzie patted Amy’s
shoulder and stood up. ‘I’ll put the jug on and we can have a nice
cup of tea.’
‘I should be getting home, really.’
‘Oh, you can spare another ten minutes,’
said Lizzie. ‘I could do with a bit of company, with Frank out. And
I’ll have the little fellows waking up before long, there won’t be
a moment’s peace after that till I’ve got the whole lot of them in
bed tonight. Stay for a cup of tea.’
It was not difficult to let herself be
persuaded. Amy carefully tucked the letter away in her dress and
went out to the kitchen with Lizzie.
‘They sound nice people, don’t you think?’
she asked, still seeking reassurance. ‘Mature, she said, not
elderly—I wouldn’t want her to be with old people.’
‘They’re just right, I’m sure.’
‘And they must have wanted a little girl a
lot, to go to all that trouble. You know, it’s silly,’ Amy mused,
‘whenever I think about Ann, I think of her as a tiny little baby.
But she’s not at all. She’s growing up now.’
‘How old is she?’
‘Ten,’ Amy answered without hesitation.
‘She’ll be eleven in November. Just twelve months older than
Mal.’
‘A year and a half older than Maudie,
then.’
‘Mmm. I wonder what she’s like. Is she
little like me? She’s got dark hair like me, I know that. And her
eyes were the bluest blue you could think of—but babies’ eyes
change sometimes. She’s pretty, I just know she is, because she was
such a pretty baby. And clever, too, I’m sure.’
‘She’s sure to be a lovely girl,’ said
Lizzie. She put the teapot on the table and sat down in the chair
next to Amy’s. ‘Probably more of a thinker like Beth instead of a
chatterbox like Maudie.’
‘I bet she’s got lots of pretty clothes and
things. All those lovely frilly dresses you can buy in the big
shops. And fancy dolls, and… oh, I don’t know, all sorts of things.
And books—I hope they buy her lots of books.’
‘They sounded pretty rich. She’s probably
got everything a child could want.’
‘But they sounded nice, too, and that’s the
most important thing. They really wanted Ann. They really love
her.’
‘Of course they do.’
‘So she’s happy. I want her to be happy,
Lizzie, really I do.’
‘I know you do,’ Lizzie said, looking
puzzled by her insistence.
Amy stared into the distance, but her eyes
did not see the walls of Lizzie’s cosy kitchen. Instead they saw a
tiny baby, drawing its life from her and seeking no existence
beyond the circle of her arms.
‘She won’t ever think about me,’ she said
quietly. ‘She’s so busy and happy, she won’t ever wonder what I was
like. She won’t wish I hadn’t given her away.’
‘That’s for the best.’
‘I know. I know it is. I just wish… no, I
don’t really. I’m glad she’s happy. But… but she won’t want
me.’
‘Amy, I think you should stop talking about
this stuff,’ Lizzie said, a note of uncertainty in her voice. ‘Your
little girl’s safe and happy, and that’s all you need to worry
about.
‘I know. That doesn’t stop me thinking about
her. It doesn’t stop me wanting her.’ Amy blinked her eyes rapidly
to clear
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