some of that and then read the first item aloud. “Must be physically attractive. Now, I think we should lower the percentage weight on that. You know, looks aren’t everything.” She eyed me.
“Oh really, Mrs. I-can’t-believe-my-husband-is-such-a-stud?” I eyed her right back.
Her cheeks flushed pink, but she shook her head. “Josh being super hot is only one of the many things I love about him. And so not the most important. Hence my suggestion.” She put a star next to the number one, but dropped the percentage down ten points.
“Okay, here’s what I’m talking about,” she said, pointing to number two. “Three languages? Is that really that important?” Her brown eyes watched me.
“I want to be able to travel,” I said in defense, but when Betsy’s face didn’t change after a few seconds, I sighed. “Okay, I guess you could change it to ‘Knows another language or shows interest in learning’.” I breathed through the clenched feeling in my chest, clinging to Mack’s words. Don’t look at it as settling down, think of it as settling up . He had been pretty sure that by settling on some of these standards, I would come out on top. For some reason, I trusted him.
Betsy nodded in triumph and lowered the percentage while she was at it.
“Okay, let’s lower this a bunch .” She scratched out the percentage of the item about height, eyeing me and saying, “I agree it would be nice, but there are a ton of couples who love each other very much and the girl is taller. I know you like to put a number on things, but you don’t want to come off as shallow.”
After that, Betsy’s pen moved onto the next item about books. She raised the percentage on that one. My eyebrows went with the number.
“You really do need someone who loves reading. I agree with that one. You do so much of it, if your guy doesn’t I’m not sure what he’s going to do half the time.”
I nodded, glad she saw the importance of that. Our parents spent most evenings reading quietly at different ends of their couch.
It took Bets another few minutes to tweak the rest of the list before she brandished it toward me, a give-it-a-chance smile sitting squarely on her face.
“Give it a chance,” she said slowly as my eyes narrowed at the thing, looking for the differences like one of those Highlights pictures we used to look at when we were younger.
I questioned a few things and I disagreed with another few, but overall I felt a nod moving my head up and down as I looked. I added up the percentages in my head to make sure they still totaled one hundred. After making sure of that (and getting over the mild freak out that I no longer knew this list and its percentages by heart like the old one), I looked at Betsy and said, “Looks good.”
She craned her neck forward. “Really?”
I nodded. “Yep. While I’m here, can we look online together so that you can help me look at the dating sites? I feel like I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.”
Bets looked at the clock behind us. “Sure thing. The girls should be napping for another half an hour.” She popped over to the desk in the corner of the room and grabbed her laptop, pushing it toward me.
I logged into my top three sites, pulling up the guys who I’d almost dismissed, but who might very well make it now that Bets had gone over the list. I pushed the laptop toward her, closing my eyes, not sure what she would think about them.
After a silent few seconds, I peeked one eye open. Betsy had her lips pressed forward discerningly, and her finger scrolled around on the track pad. I opened the other eye and leaned close to see which guy Betsy was looking at.
It was Thomas Harding, a local financial planner who had only been at it for a few years, having changed career paths after finding the corporate world too confining and corrupt.
“What’s wrong with him?” Betsy pointed at the screen.
“Number six.” I bit at my lip.
“He switched jobs. You
“Oh really, Mrs. I-can’t-believe-my-husband-is-such-a-stud?” I eyed her right back.
Her cheeks flushed pink, but she shook her head. “Josh being super hot is only one of the many things I love about him. And so not the most important. Hence my suggestion.” She put a star next to the number one, but dropped the percentage down ten points.
“Okay, here’s what I’m talking about,” she said, pointing to number two. “Three languages? Is that really that important?” Her brown eyes watched me.
“I want to be able to travel,” I said in defense, but when Betsy’s face didn’t change after a few seconds, I sighed. “Okay, I guess you could change it to ‘Knows another language or shows interest in learning’.” I breathed through the clenched feeling in my chest, clinging to Mack’s words. Don’t look at it as settling down, think of it as settling up . He had been pretty sure that by settling on some of these standards, I would come out on top. For some reason, I trusted him.
Betsy nodded in triumph and lowered the percentage while she was at it.
“Okay, let’s lower this a bunch .” She scratched out the percentage of the item about height, eyeing me and saying, “I agree it would be nice, but there are a ton of couples who love each other very much and the girl is taller. I know you like to put a number on things, but you don’t want to come off as shallow.”
After that, Betsy’s pen moved onto the next item about books. She raised the percentage on that one. My eyebrows went with the number.
“You really do need someone who loves reading. I agree with that one. You do so much of it, if your guy doesn’t I’m not sure what he’s going to do half the time.”
I nodded, glad she saw the importance of that. Our parents spent most evenings reading quietly at different ends of their couch.
It took Bets another few minutes to tweak the rest of the list before she brandished it toward me, a give-it-a-chance smile sitting squarely on her face.
“Give it a chance,” she said slowly as my eyes narrowed at the thing, looking for the differences like one of those Highlights pictures we used to look at when we were younger.
I questioned a few things and I disagreed with another few, but overall I felt a nod moving my head up and down as I looked. I added up the percentages in my head to make sure they still totaled one hundred. After making sure of that (and getting over the mild freak out that I no longer knew this list and its percentages by heart like the old one), I looked at Betsy and said, “Looks good.”
She craned her neck forward. “Really?”
I nodded. “Yep. While I’m here, can we look online together so that you can help me look at the dating sites? I feel like I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.”
Bets looked at the clock behind us. “Sure thing. The girls should be napping for another half an hour.” She popped over to the desk in the corner of the room and grabbed her laptop, pushing it toward me.
I logged into my top three sites, pulling up the guys who I’d almost dismissed, but who might very well make it now that Bets had gone over the list. I pushed the laptop toward her, closing my eyes, not sure what she would think about them.
After a silent few seconds, I peeked one eye open. Betsy had her lips pressed forward discerningly, and her finger scrolled around on the track pad. I opened the other eye and leaned close to see which guy Betsy was looking at.
It was Thomas Harding, a local financial planner who had only been at it for a few years, having changed career paths after finding the corporate world too confining and corrupt.
“What’s wrong with him?” Betsy pointed at the screen.
“Number six.” I bit at my lip.
“He switched jobs. You
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