everything that comes out of Andrew’s mouth, I’d have long fallen asleep. I can’t believe I could have instead been sitting by the fire in my book shop with a cup of hot chocolate and a group of good friends, discussing the latest mystery we’ve read.
“…have a few things lined up,” my brother is saying, “Nothing specific yet, but I have to say, since I turned a new leaf, I’ve been doing quite well for myself.”
I need to get out of here. I’ve rushed through the appetizers (in this house pasta counts as an appetizer, while at my home a packet of ramen noodles can count for an entire dinner), so I excuse myself during the pause before the main course and slip out of the dining room.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I’m walking down the long hallway and my feet sink in the thick carpeting. You can’t get anywhere fast in this house. You need to walk for a while and I feel bad for the poor maids whose job entails a constant running back and forth between floors and winding corridors.
I’ve slept with my brother! My brain won’t leave me alone. It’s like a cartoon angel and a devil are bickering on top of my shoulders.
“ He’s not really your brother ,” the devil says, “ Remember how he touched you? You don’t get a thrill like that from a brother. ”
“ You are still related ,” the angel counters, “ Maybe not by blood, but what difference does it make? He’s not someone you could ever be with. ”
“ But he wants you. Did you see how he was looking at you? He wants to fuck you again and, admit it, those nerdy little boys you’ve had? You barely even felt a thing when they put it in. And this? This was an earthquake. ”
“ You were just drunk and everything seemed way better at the time. Plus, since when are you letting sex cloud your judgment? You’ll have plenty of sex in your future. ”
“ Not like this… It will never be the same as this ,” the devil concludes.
“Shut up!” I scream inside my head and I feel like a lunatic. Since when do I have a split personality?
I finally reach a bathroom and dive in, shutting the door firmly behind me as if that would stop my consciousness from following me inside. I take a deep breath and go to the vanity that’s fully stocked with toiletries, though no one probably uses this room. There are at least five other bathrooms around the house. Or ten.
The moment I place my hands on the cool porcelain of the sink and look in the mirror, the memory comes back. Him behind me in the club’s bathroom and me losing my mind. No, I’m never drinking again. I start the water.
The door opens and though it seems surreal, here he is again. Andrew.
“What are you doing?” I say indignantly, “Get out of here!”
“Can’t I watch my little sister freshen up?”
“Hasn’t anyone taught you manners?” I say and think back to his impeccable behavior at the dinner table. He has plenty of manners, he just doesn’t feel the need to use them around me. “Any girl needs privacy in a bathroom!”
“Oh, come on, sis,” he says with a smile and I cringe at the word ‘sis’. Are we really going to do this from now on? Play a little game in which we are really brother and sister? “Even I can’t drop a girl’s panties that fast. I knew you weren’t doing anything… hm, private yet.”
“It looks like you have a problem with boundaries,” I mutter, “I doubt even that would have stopped you.”
“Mmm, kinky,” he says and presses his lips together.
I feel like I might get sick, because for a flash second my brain is actually picturing the twisted scene.
“What do you want?” I realize I’m practically growling at him, not my usual calm manner, but I just don’t know how to behave around his smugness and his self-assurance. Why isn’t he at all bothered by what’s happened?
“Just to talk,” he says and stands closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders, just where my devil and
“…have a few things lined up,” my brother is saying, “Nothing specific yet, but I have to say, since I turned a new leaf, I’ve been doing quite well for myself.”
I need to get out of here. I’ve rushed through the appetizers (in this house pasta counts as an appetizer, while at my home a packet of ramen noodles can count for an entire dinner), so I excuse myself during the pause before the main course and slip out of the dining room.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I’m walking down the long hallway and my feet sink in the thick carpeting. You can’t get anywhere fast in this house. You need to walk for a while and I feel bad for the poor maids whose job entails a constant running back and forth between floors and winding corridors.
I’ve slept with my brother! My brain won’t leave me alone. It’s like a cartoon angel and a devil are bickering on top of my shoulders.
“ He’s not really your brother ,” the devil says, “ Remember how he touched you? You don’t get a thrill like that from a brother. ”
“ You are still related ,” the angel counters, “ Maybe not by blood, but what difference does it make? He’s not someone you could ever be with. ”
“ But he wants you. Did you see how he was looking at you? He wants to fuck you again and, admit it, those nerdy little boys you’ve had? You barely even felt a thing when they put it in. And this? This was an earthquake. ”
“ You were just drunk and everything seemed way better at the time. Plus, since when are you letting sex cloud your judgment? You’ll have plenty of sex in your future. ”
“ Not like this… It will never be the same as this ,” the devil concludes.
“Shut up!” I scream inside my head and I feel like a lunatic. Since when do I have a split personality?
I finally reach a bathroom and dive in, shutting the door firmly behind me as if that would stop my consciousness from following me inside. I take a deep breath and go to the vanity that’s fully stocked with toiletries, though no one probably uses this room. There are at least five other bathrooms around the house. Or ten.
The moment I place my hands on the cool porcelain of the sink and look in the mirror, the memory comes back. Him behind me in the club’s bathroom and me losing my mind. No, I’m never drinking again. I start the water.
The door opens and though it seems surreal, here he is again. Andrew.
“What are you doing?” I say indignantly, “Get out of here!”
“Can’t I watch my little sister freshen up?”
“Hasn’t anyone taught you manners?” I say and think back to his impeccable behavior at the dinner table. He has plenty of manners, he just doesn’t feel the need to use them around me. “Any girl needs privacy in a bathroom!”
“Oh, come on, sis,” he says with a smile and I cringe at the word ‘sis’. Are we really going to do this from now on? Play a little game in which we are really brother and sister? “Even I can’t drop a girl’s panties that fast. I knew you weren’t doing anything… hm, private yet.”
“It looks like you have a problem with boundaries,” I mutter, “I doubt even that would have stopped you.”
“Mmm, kinky,” he says and presses his lips together.
I feel like I might get sick, because for a flash second my brain is actually picturing the twisted scene.
“What do you want?” I realize I’m practically growling at him, not my usual calm manner, but I just don’t know how to behave around his smugness and his self-assurance. Why isn’t he at all bothered by what’s happened?
“Just to talk,” he says and stands closer to me, placing his hands on my shoulders, just where my devil and
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