bitters, brats, pubies, or know-it-alls?”
Laughing, Steve said, “Oh my god,
that’s funny.”
Ignoring her brother Jen replied,
“Definitely ankle bitters or brats. The only thing I have to worry about with
them is snot and colds. Junior high wouldn’t be too bad either except rumor has
it eighth graders are the worst. They discover the opposite sex and their
hormones are all over the place. It’s when they’re trying to figure out who
they are along with fighting for their independence.” Shaking her head back and
forth she finished with, “No way do I want to teach teenagers. I’ve heard
horror stories about what you and Steve used to do in high school, so no thank
you. High school is not for me. I have no desire to be surrounded by a room
full of pricks and bitches.”
Laughing I asked, “You sure teaching
is the right career?”
Simultaneously Steve said, “Jeez
sis, you make it sounds so appealing. You sure you want to teach?”
Steve and I busted out laughing. Jen
ignored us both. Apparently she didn’t find it as funny as we did. Tilting her
head back to take the last sip of her soda she asked, “Would you two like
another beer?”
“Hey thanks, Squirt. I’m ready for
another one.” I said.
Steve said, “Me too. Thanks, Sis”.
“Wow, Steve, your baby sister grew
up.” Provoking him, I flexed my eyebrows up and down in a flirting motion.
“Hey, fucker, don’t even think about
it.” He said in a teasing voice and yet I knew he was totally serious.
Smiling, punching him in the arm I
said, “She’s like a sister to me and I would never disrespect you.”
He put his forefinger in the center
of my chest. “Dude. Whatever. You just don’t want me to kick your ass.”
Catching him by surprise, I grabbed
his head in my forearm, putting him in a head lock and rubbing my knuckles on
his head. “Who’s going to kick who’s ass?”
He pulled away from my grasp. “Damn
dude, you’re quick for a nerd.”
“And you’re pretty slow for a
special ops fucker. You only have four weeks to get the sand out of your
vagina.”
He stared at me, trying to register
what I had said. “That’s a good one. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
It wasn’t long before we were
laughing hysterically. He was holding his side trying to catch his breath before
he said, “Stop, I have diarrhea.” Which only made us laugh harder.
Looking around the party he said, “Where
in the hell is Jen with our beer?”
“What do you think is keeping her?
You probably made her cry,” I said.
I nodded as he headed toward the
house. “Hurry back, I’m thirsty,” I hollered after him.
I was reaching for a handful of
potato chips when I noticed a tall blonde behind me. She had shoulder-length straight
hair with bangs and dark roots. She was wearing a light yellow sundress with thin
straps. A V-neck opening offered me a glimpse of cleavage. Her skin was very copper
and her hair had a tinge of green from spending too much time in the pool. She
reminded me of a tall Umpa Lumpa. She would be cute if she wasn’t so leathery
orange.
“How do you know Steve?” she asked.
“We grew up together. You?” I asked
while putting another handful of chips in my mouth.
“I work at the mall with Jen.”
Extending her hand, “Hi, I’m Paige. Paige Thomas.”
I shook her hand. “Drew Malone.”
“Hey, you two.” Jen finally returned
with my beer.
“Where you been, Squirt? It’s a good
thing I didn’t die of thirst or anything.”
“Sorry, I got sidetracked. Where’s
Steve?”
“I think he did die of thirst.”
Laughing. “Nah, kidding, he went to see what was taking you so long.”
“I see you met Paige. What do you
think? She’s pretty, right?”
I loved Jen except sometimes she
talked too much and usually said exactly what she was thinking. “Yeah, we met.”
“Hey I was sorry to hear about your
grandmother. I met her once and she seemed really nice.”
“Thanks. She was a good lady
Laughing, Steve said, “Oh my god,
that’s funny.”
Ignoring her brother Jen replied,
“Definitely ankle bitters or brats. The only thing I have to worry about with
them is snot and colds. Junior high wouldn’t be too bad either except rumor has
it eighth graders are the worst. They discover the opposite sex and their
hormones are all over the place. It’s when they’re trying to figure out who
they are along with fighting for their independence.” Shaking her head back and
forth she finished with, “No way do I want to teach teenagers. I’ve heard
horror stories about what you and Steve used to do in high school, so no thank
you. High school is not for me. I have no desire to be surrounded by a room
full of pricks and bitches.”
Laughing I asked, “You sure teaching
is the right career?”
Simultaneously Steve said, “Jeez
sis, you make it sounds so appealing. You sure you want to teach?”
Steve and I busted out laughing. Jen
ignored us both. Apparently she didn’t find it as funny as we did. Tilting her
head back to take the last sip of her soda she asked, “Would you two like
another beer?”
“Hey thanks, Squirt. I’m ready for
another one.” I said.
Steve said, “Me too. Thanks, Sis”.
“Wow, Steve, your baby sister grew
up.” Provoking him, I flexed my eyebrows up and down in a flirting motion.
“Hey, fucker, don’t even think about
it.” He said in a teasing voice and yet I knew he was totally serious.
Smiling, punching him in the arm I
said, “She’s like a sister to me and I would never disrespect you.”
He put his forefinger in the center
of my chest. “Dude. Whatever. You just don’t want me to kick your ass.”
Catching him by surprise, I grabbed
his head in my forearm, putting him in a head lock and rubbing my knuckles on
his head. “Who’s going to kick who’s ass?”
He pulled away from my grasp. “Damn
dude, you’re quick for a nerd.”
“And you’re pretty slow for a
special ops fucker. You only have four weeks to get the sand out of your
vagina.”
He stared at me, trying to register
what I had said. “That’s a good one. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
It wasn’t long before we were
laughing hysterically. He was holding his side trying to catch his breath before
he said, “Stop, I have diarrhea.” Which only made us laugh harder.
Looking around the party he said, “Where
in the hell is Jen with our beer?”
“What do you think is keeping her?
You probably made her cry,” I said.
I nodded as he headed toward the
house. “Hurry back, I’m thirsty,” I hollered after him.
I was reaching for a handful of
potato chips when I noticed a tall blonde behind me. She had shoulder-length straight
hair with bangs and dark roots. She was wearing a light yellow sundress with thin
straps. A V-neck opening offered me a glimpse of cleavage. Her skin was very copper
and her hair had a tinge of green from spending too much time in the pool. She
reminded me of a tall Umpa Lumpa. She would be cute if she wasn’t so leathery
orange.
“How do you know Steve?” she asked.
“We grew up together. You?” I asked
while putting another handful of chips in my mouth.
“I work at the mall with Jen.”
Extending her hand, “Hi, I’m Paige. Paige Thomas.”
I shook her hand. “Drew Malone.”
“Hey, you two.” Jen finally returned
with my beer.
“Where you been, Squirt? It’s a good
thing I didn’t die of thirst or anything.”
“Sorry, I got sidetracked. Where’s
Steve?”
“I think he did die of thirst.”
Laughing. “Nah, kidding, he went to see what was taking you so long.”
“I see you met Paige. What do you
think? She’s pretty, right?”
I loved Jen except sometimes she
talked too much and usually said exactly what she was thinking. “Yeah, we met.”
“Hey I was sorry to hear about your
grandmother. I met her once and she seemed really nice.”
“Thanks. She was a good lady
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