Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella Page A

heard me. She’s looking at the scan pictures and dabbing at her eyes with a hanky.
    “Janice…are you OK?”
    “I’m sorry, dear.” She blows her nose, then takes a swig of sherry, draining the glass. “Might I top this up, Jane?”
    “Go ahead, dear!” says Mum encouragingly. “Poor Janice,” she adds to me and Suze in a whisper. “She’s
desperate
for a grandchild. But Tom never even comes out of his summerhouse. And when he does…” She lowers her voice further. “He can’t have had a haircut in months! And talk about shaving! I said to her, ‘He’ll never find a nice girl if he doesn’t spruce up his appearance!’ But—” She breaks off as the doorbell rings. “That’ll be the caterers. I’ve
told
them to use the kitchen door!”
    “I’ll go.” Dad gets up, and we all turn back to the catalogs.
    “D’you think we should get a bath seat
and
a bath support?” I peer at the page. “And an inflatable travel bath?”
    “Get this.” Suze shows me a picture of a padded baby nest. “They’re fab. Wilfie
lives
in his.”
    “Definitely!” I nod. “Fold the corner down!”
    “These corners are getting a bit bulky.” Mum looks consideringly at the catalog. “Maybe we should fold down if we’re
not
interested in the page.”
    “Why don’t you just order the entire catalog and then send back the very few things you don’t want?” suggests Luke.
    Now
that
’s a good—
    Oh. He’s being funny. Ha-di-ha. I’m about to come up with a crushing retort, when Dad’s voice rings out from the hall. “Come on through, Jess. Everyone’s having tea.”
    Jess is here!
    Oh God. Jess is here.
    “Quick, hide the catalogs!” I hiss, and start shoving them behind cushions in a nervous scrabble. “You know what Jess is like.”
    “But she might want to have a look, love!” Mum objects.
    Mum doesn’t really get Jess and her whole thriftiness thing. She thinks Jess is just going through a “phase,” like when Suze was a committed vegan for about three weeks before totally caving in and stuffing her face with a bacon sandwich.
    “She won’t,” says Suze, who has stayed in Jess’s house and knows what she’s like. She grabs Mum’s copy of Funky Baba and pushes it under Wilfrid’s bouncy chair just as Dad and Jess appear at the door.
    “Hi, Jess!” I begin brightly, then stop in amazement. I haven’t seen Jess for a couple of months and she looks absolutely spectacular!
    She’s all tanned and skinny and wearing cargo shorts that show off her long, toned legs. Her cropped hair has been bleached by the sun and her green sleeveless T-shirt brings out her hazel eyes.
    “Hi!” she says, putting down her backpack. “Hi, Auntie Jane. Becky, how are you?”
    “I’m fine!” I can’t stop goggling at her. “You look great! You’re so tanned!”
    “Oh.” Jess glances down at herself with zero interest, then reaches in her backpack. “I brought some maize biscuits. They’re made by a local cooperative in northern Guatemala.” She hands Mum a box made out of rough cardboard, and Mum turns it in her fingers, perplexed.
    “Lovely, dear,” she says at last, and puts it down next to the teapot. “Have a fondant fancy!”
    “Wow.” Jess sits down on the ottoman. “Look at Clem—” She stops as I mouth “Wilfie!” behind Suze’s back.
    “Sorry?” says Suze.
    “I was just going to ask…where’s Clementine?” Jess amends. “And I can’t believe Wilfie! He’s huge!”
    I give her a tiny grin over my cup of tea as Suze replies. God, who would have thought it? My sister and my best friend, chatting away together.
    There was a time when I thought I’d lost both of them for good. Jess, because we had a great big row, and called each other names which make me wince even now to remember them. And Suze because she made a new friend called Lulu, who rides horses and has four children and thinks she’s superior to everyone. I
still
can’t understand why Suze likes her; in fact,