drink of water and stared at her teary face in the mirror.
“God, I hate when I do something wrong.” Especially to Jillian. It wasn’t her fault Tania was screwed up, but it was because of her that Tania was here trying to work through everything.
Resolutely, she returned to the bedroom and dialed her friend back.
“I’m sorry,” she said before Jillian could speak. “I had no right to do that.”
“Of course you did,” Jillian sighed heavily. “I’m sorry for pushing you to the point you felt it was the only answer.”
“I didn’t want to hear what you were trying to say.”
“Yeah, I got the message.” Jillian’s voice lifted from sadness to humor, making Tania smile.
“I just feel so…” she shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel alive; different, confused but almost hot.”
Now Jillian broke into her beautiful, lilting laugh. “You sound so normal. I’m so happy you called me. I hadn’t expected this type of progress, but there’s no doubt that’s what I’m seeing.” She added a smirk in her voice. “I guess I hadn’t expected it to show this way.”
“I had no expectations,” Tania laughed. “Who could?”
“Just…be careful,” Jillian dropped her voice. “Please. You’re very special, and you’ve been hurt enough.”
“True. And I’m not going to do anything stupid. At least I’m not trying to. If I get a chance to take this one step further…well, I don’t know, but I honestly don’t think I could go through with it and to have me run from him at that stage could hurt him – badly, depending on his issues.” In fact, it was likely to devastate him. And he’d come here to heal, too. She didn’t need to screw his world up more just because she was a mess.
“That’s the thing about sexual attraction; what looks great at night time when the heat is coursing through your veins can look horrible in the morning. Worse because, in the cold light of day, we look in the mirror and hate ourselves, realizing we’d done something we wouldn’t normally do. In the morning, our actions are hard to live with. But that mirror is one we have to look at every day.”
There was such a serious tone in her voice, and Tania realized she didn’t know all of her friend’s dark secrets, either. Obviously, Jillian had some experience with the less-than-nice side of sexual attraction.
She didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry. I don’t know because I’ve never been there, but I hate to think you have such memories.”
“Sweetie, most single women who’ve lived the singles life have a few of them. Some are easier to forget than others. In your case, I don’t think you’d be able to forget. It would just compound other memories you can’t walk away from, either.”
“Damn. That’s probably very true.” Tania walked to the window and looked out. “In which case, I can just enjoy the benefit of knowing the seminar is working, and I’ll come home a better, more complete person.”
“Yes, you are, and you will. And that’s awesome!” Jillian sighed happily. “I’m so happy to hear the seminar is working. Now I have to run. Go eat and enjoy the rest of the seminar. If anything else comes up, call me.” She rang off.
In a better frame of mind, Tania glanced at her watch and understood she was going to be late for dinner if she didn’t move it. She wasn’t even dressed yet. Ten minutes later, dressed in slacks and a light, cashmere sweater with a little makeup on to hide the crying session, and she was ready to go. She grabbed her purse, her hotel card, and walked out, damn near walking into Kane.
“Whoa. Easy there.” He reached out and grabbed her arms to steady her. “I know its dinner time, but you don’t have to rush. They will save you some.”
Her barely-leashed hormones took one look at that smorgasbord of delight in front of her, and a second appetite surged to life.
*
Kane held Tania slightly apart from him and studied her features. She’d
“God, I hate when I do something wrong.” Especially to Jillian. It wasn’t her fault Tania was screwed up, but it was because of her that Tania was here trying to work through everything.
Resolutely, she returned to the bedroom and dialed her friend back.
“I’m sorry,” she said before Jillian could speak. “I had no right to do that.”
“Of course you did,” Jillian sighed heavily. “I’m sorry for pushing you to the point you felt it was the only answer.”
“I didn’t want to hear what you were trying to say.”
“Yeah, I got the message.” Jillian’s voice lifted from sadness to humor, making Tania smile.
“I just feel so…” she shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel alive; different, confused but almost hot.”
Now Jillian broke into her beautiful, lilting laugh. “You sound so normal. I’m so happy you called me. I hadn’t expected this type of progress, but there’s no doubt that’s what I’m seeing.” She added a smirk in her voice. “I guess I hadn’t expected it to show this way.”
“I had no expectations,” Tania laughed. “Who could?”
“Just…be careful,” Jillian dropped her voice. “Please. You’re very special, and you’ve been hurt enough.”
“True. And I’m not going to do anything stupid. At least I’m not trying to. If I get a chance to take this one step further…well, I don’t know, but I honestly don’t think I could go through with it and to have me run from him at that stage could hurt him – badly, depending on his issues.” In fact, it was likely to devastate him. And he’d come here to heal, too. She didn’t need to screw his world up more just because she was a mess.
“That’s the thing about sexual attraction; what looks great at night time when the heat is coursing through your veins can look horrible in the morning. Worse because, in the cold light of day, we look in the mirror and hate ourselves, realizing we’d done something we wouldn’t normally do. In the morning, our actions are hard to live with. But that mirror is one we have to look at every day.”
There was such a serious tone in her voice, and Tania realized she didn’t know all of her friend’s dark secrets, either. Obviously, Jillian had some experience with the less-than-nice side of sexual attraction.
She didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry. I don’t know because I’ve never been there, but I hate to think you have such memories.”
“Sweetie, most single women who’ve lived the singles life have a few of them. Some are easier to forget than others. In your case, I don’t think you’d be able to forget. It would just compound other memories you can’t walk away from, either.”
“Damn. That’s probably very true.” Tania walked to the window and looked out. “In which case, I can just enjoy the benefit of knowing the seminar is working, and I’ll come home a better, more complete person.”
“Yes, you are, and you will. And that’s awesome!” Jillian sighed happily. “I’m so happy to hear the seminar is working. Now I have to run. Go eat and enjoy the rest of the seminar. If anything else comes up, call me.” She rang off.
In a better frame of mind, Tania glanced at her watch and understood she was going to be late for dinner if she didn’t move it. She wasn’t even dressed yet. Ten minutes later, dressed in slacks and a light, cashmere sweater with a little makeup on to hide the crying session, and she was ready to go. She grabbed her purse, her hotel card, and walked out, damn near walking into Kane.
“Whoa. Easy there.” He reached out and grabbed her arms to steady her. “I know its dinner time, but you don’t have to rush. They will save you some.”
Her barely-leashed hormones took one look at that smorgasbord of delight in front of her, and a second appetite surged to life.
*
Kane held Tania slightly apart from him and studied her features. She’d
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