and
assorted piles of papers, boxes and bottles. It was a mess.
But, I was pleased to note, there were absolutely no feminine
touches around the place, not even so much as a rag rug to
warm the chilly stone flag floor. If he did have a wife, she was
a complete domestic slob.
Leo glanced around at the empty dog beds. "I wonder
where the terriers have got to?" He opened a door. I admired
his back view as he took a few steps out of the kitchen. My
66
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
subconscious checklist of desirable male features was sagging
under the weight of ticks—the way his hair curled slightly
over his collar, the broad line of his shoulders, the neatness
of his buttocks. All this and the sensual frisson which had
definitely slithered between us when he'd helped me upright.
He was, without a doubt, what Florence would call fit .
Florence. She'd be back from wherever-it-was that Piers
was taking her by now, surely? Especially with an exam to sit
tomorrow.
"Hey, Mum!"
For once she sounded pleased to hear from me. "Is
everything okay, darling? Are you back at Dad's?"
"Yeah, everything's cool this end. What're you up to?"
"Well, I'm sitting in an Elizabethan mansion chatting to a
rather nice man."
A snorty kind of laugh. "Yeah, right. And I just pulled the
Arctic Monkeys."
"No, I am. Honestly."
A pause. "What, a man? A real one?" There was a sudden,
frantic amount of whispering off-mouthpiece as Florence
relayed this piece of information to someone else.
I heard Piers say, "Is she all right?"
Piers obviously thought the only way I'd ever be in contact
with a man would be for one to have abducted me. "It's all
fine. Look, I'll be back tomorrow. Ask Piers to bring you home
in the evening, if he doesn't mind."
There was a lot of rustling at the other end, then Piers's
voice. "That'll be okay, Alys. I'll bring her back around nine.
Will you be in?"
67
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
"If I'm not I won't be too late. Thank you for running her
around, Piers. I hope it's not interfering with your life too
much."
"Well, you know, things are kinda quiet at the moment."
We were silent at each other. I heard Florrie say, "Let me
talk to her again," petulantly, as though Piers had been
withholding the handset. "Mum, you don't have to come back
on my account, you know. It will be fine for me to stay with
Dad a bit longer."
"No, I'll come back tomorrow. I've got to work. Bye
darling!"
Florence muttered me a goodbye, another set of plans
obviously thwarted by her evil mother, and I laid the phone
down. Leo was standing just inside the door.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have realised."
"Realised what?"
"I...umm..." His eyes headed for the ceiling and began
following the contours of the walls. "I'm afraid...I'm...oh
bugger it. I should have realised that you weren't available.
My fault. Sorry." His eyes continued to roam somewhere
above head height, but the rest of his face assumed a wry
expression. "I hope I haven't compromised our...friendship by
saying that." He'd obviously heard the tail end of my
conversation, all Piers and darling .
"Oh, but I am," I said. "Available, that is." Aware that this
made me sound like Tart of the Century, I hastened in with,
"I was talking to my daughter. I'd promised I'd ring. But apart
from her—oh, and Grainger, he's our cat—well, there's
nobody." Then, because that gave the impression that I was
68
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
Billy No-Mates, "Nobody special, that is. I mean, I see people,
of course I do, doesn't everyone, but not men. Well, some of
them are men, obviously, at least half, but I don't see them, I
mean, I see them, otherwise I'd fall over them all the time,
but not in that way. If you see what I mean." It had finally
dawned on me that I was gabbling.
"In other words, you don't have a significant other?"
"I don't have any kind of other." And forgetting everything
Isabelle had told me, "What about
assorted piles of papers, boxes and bottles. It was a mess.
But, I was pleased to note, there were absolutely no feminine
touches around the place, not even so much as a rag rug to
warm the chilly stone flag floor. If he did have a wife, she was
a complete domestic slob.
Leo glanced around at the empty dog beds. "I wonder
where the terriers have got to?" He opened a door. I admired
his back view as he took a few steps out of the kitchen. My
66
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
subconscious checklist of desirable male features was sagging
under the weight of ticks—the way his hair curled slightly
over his collar, the broad line of his shoulders, the neatness
of his buttocks. All this and the sensual frisson which had
definitely slithered between us when he'd helped me upright.
He was, without a doubt, what Florence would call fit .
Florence. She'd be back from wherever-it-was that Piers
was taking her by now, surely? Especially with an exam to sit
tomorrow.
"Hey, Mum!"
For once she sounded pleased to hear from me. "Is
everything okay, darling? Are you back at Dad's?"
"Yeah, everything's cool this end. What're you up to?"
"Well, I'm sitting in an Elizabethan mansion chatting to a
rather nice man."
A snorty kind of laugh. "Yeah, right. And I just pulled the
Arctic Monkeys."
"No, I am. Honestly."
A pause. "What, a man? A real one?" There was a sudden,
frantic amount of whispering off-mouthpiece as Florence
relayed this piece of information to someone else.
I heard Piers say, "Is she all right?"
Piers obviously thought the only way I'd ever be in contact
with a man would be for one to have abducted me. "It's all
fine. Look, I'll be back tomorrow. Ask Piers to bring you home
in the evening, if he doesn't mind."
There was a lot of rustling at the other end, then Piers's
voice. "That'll be okay, Alys. I'll bring her back around nine.
Will you be in?"
67
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
"If I'm not I won't be too late. Thank you for running her
around, Piers. I hope it's not interfering with your life too
much."
"Well, you know, things are kinda quiet at the moment."
We were silent at each other. I heard Florrie say, "Let me
talk to her again," petulantly, as though Piers had been
withholding the handset. "Mum, you don't have to come back
on my account, you know. It will be fine for me to stay with
Dad a bit longer."
"No, I'll come back tomorrow. I've got to work. Bye
darling!"
Florence muttered me a goodbye, another set of plans
obviously thwarted by her evil mother, and I laid the phone
down. Leo was standing just inside the door.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have realised."
"Realised what?"
"I...umm..." His eyes headed for the ceiling and began
following the contours of the walls. "I'm afraid...I'm...oh
bugger it. I should have realised that you weren't available.
My fault. Sorry." His eyes continued to roam somewhere
above head height, but the rest of his face assumed a wry
expression. "I hope I haven't compromised our...friendship by
saying that." He'd obviously heard the tail end of my
conversation, all Piers and darling .
"Oh, but I am," I said. "Available, that is." Aware that this
made me sound like Tart of the Century, I hastened in with,
"I was talking to my daughter. I'd promised I'd ring. But apart
from her—oh, and Grainger, he's our cat—well, there's
nobody." Then, because that gave the impression that I was
68
Slightly Foxed
by Jane Lovering
Billy No-Mates, "Nobody special, that is. I mean, I see people,
of course I do, doesn't everyone, but not men. Well, some of
them are men, obviously, at least half, but I don't see them, I
mean, I see them, otherwise I'd fall over them all the time,
but not in that way. If you see what I mean." It had finally
dawned on me that I was gabbling.
"In other words, you don't have a significant other?"
"I don't have any kind of other." And forgetting everything
Isabelle had told me, "What about
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