Tabby by not rewrapping her presents. Her stuff sat under the tree yesterday in their boxes and plastic, looking naked next to everyone else’s gussied-up gifts.The idea was to teach her a lesson, teach her some self-control. Show her how she ruined the whole surprise factor of Christmas morning. So she won’t do it again.
Memo: It didn’t work. She tore into her stuff, paid no attention to the rest of us, shrieked and squealed and wallowed in her pile of no-bow presents like a hog in slop.
Actually, Tabby did get one wrapped present. From Korbet. He did his knock-and-run thing. Tabby didn’t bother to answer the door, but my mother did. When she returned she said to Tabby, “There’s a gift on the front step. I think it’s for you.” At that moment I could see Tabby’s gears starting to work: How much do I hate Korbet? Enough to not even take his present?
By lunchtime she couldn’t stand it any longer. She stomped out to the front step and snatched the gift. She flung it to the sofa. The wrap job was sloppy, scotch tape, no bows, no ribbons. It was the size of a deck of cards. In fact, I was sure that’s what it was. Korbet is always asking her to play Old Maid.
Tabby pretended to ignore it, but you couldhear her brain grinding. About midafternoon she raced to the sofa, tore off the paper, saw it was a deck of Old Maid cards, snarled, “Lugnut!” and threw the cards into the wastebasket.
She did get cash from relatives. Forty-five dollars. She thinks she’s rich.
PD97
M i-Su is in Florida. She went down to visit her aunt and uncle in Tampa. This messes up my kiss plan. Got to retool.
PD100
O ne hundred days ago the proton died.
Tabby’s Christmas money is gone.
In my sleep last night I heard the plink…plink…plink of Tabby dropping black jelly beans into a wastebasket.
PD106
I snapped.
I can’t believe it. It’s not me.
HERE LIES WILL TUPPENCE
HE NEVER SNAPPED
(WELL, MAYBE ONCE)
It happened tonight in my basement. Monopoly night. All the usual stuff: BT bought everything he landed on, BT ran out of money, BT mortgaged his properties, BT chirped, “Wheelin’ and dealin’,” BT went flat broke—nothing that hasn’t happened a hundred times before. And then Mi-Su says to him, “How much do you need? I’ll give you a loan”—like a hundred times before, only this time— snap! —I went bonkers.
It’s like Will Tuppence II showed up. I heard myself yelling at Mi-Su: “No!”
Mi-Su winced as if my voice was a gust of wind. Her eyes went wide. “No what?”
“No more loans.”
She laughed. “It’s my money. I can do what I want with it.”
“No, you can’t.” I groped for the rule book, riffled the pages. “Here! Quote, ‘No player may borrow or lend money to another player.’” I smacked the page. “There it is.”
She stared at me with those wide eyes, her mouth frozen in wonderment, as if she was seeing ten falling stars at once. “You’re serious,” she said. “Look at you. You’re red.”
Tabby clapped. “He’s red! He’s red!”
“Yeah, I’m serious,” I tell her. “It’s right here. In the rules.”
“We break the rules all the time.” She spoke softly, as if a loud voice would shatter me.
“It’s not fair,” I said. “It’s not fair to the other players.”
“You’re the other player.”
“We should play right or not play at all.”
Mi-Su blinked. “Will, it doesn’t make any difference. I just lend money to BT to keep him in the game for a little longer.” Do you? I thought. Or is there some connection between this and the star-party kiss? “You know what’s going to happen. Sooner or later he’s going to lose. He always loses.” She leaned forward, enunciated: “ And. He. Doesn’t. Care. ”
All this time BT was lounging on the floor,his chin propped up on his hand, grinning. Tabby jumped on his back. “Yeah! You always lose! Looozer! Loozer!”
“Well,” I said, “maybe I care.”
Mi-Su frowned. “What’s
Memo: It didn’t work. She tore into her stuff, paid no attention to the rest of us, shrieked and squealed and wallowed in her pile of no-bow presents like a hog in slop.
Actually, Tabby did get one wrapped present. From Korbet. He did his knock-and-run thing. Tabby didn’t bother to answer the door, but my mother did. When she returned she said to Tabby, “There’s a gift on the front step. I think it’s for you.” At that moment I could see Tabby’s gears starting to work: How much do I hate Korbet? Enough to not even take his present?
By lunchtime she couldn’t stand it any longer. She stomped out to the front step and snatched the gift. She flung it to the sofa. The wrap job was sloppy, scotch tape, no bows, no ribbons. It was the size of a deck of cards. In fact, I was sure that’s what it was. Korbet is always asking her to play Old Maid.
Tabby pretended to ignore it, but you couldhear her brain grinding. About midafternoon she raced to the sofa, tore off the paper, saw it was a deck of Old Maid cards, snarled, “Lugnut!” and threw the cards into the wastebasket.
She did get cash from relatives. Forty-five dollars. She thinks she’s rich.
PD97
M i-Su is in Florida. She went down to visit her aunt and uncle in Tampa. This messes up my kiss plan. Got to retool.
PD100
O ne hundred days ago the proton died.
Tabby’s Christmas money is gone.
In my sleep last night I heard the plink…plink…plink of Tabby dropping black jelly beans into a wastebasket.
PD106
I snapped.
I can’t believe it. It’s not me.
HERE LIES WILL TUPPENCE
HE NEVER SNAPPED
(WELL, MAYBE ONCE)
It happened tonight in my basement. Monopoly night. All the usual stuff: BT bought everything he landed on, BT ran out of money, BT mortgaged his properties, BT chirped, “Wheelin’ and dealin’,” BT went flat broke—nothing that hasn’t happened a hundred times before. And then Mi-Su says to him, “How much do you need? I’ll give you a loan”—like a hundred times before, only this time— snap! —I went bonkers.
It’s like Will Tuppence II showed up. I heard myself yelling at Mi-Su: “No!”
Mi-Su winced as if my voice was a gust of wind. Her eyes went wide. “No what?”
“No more loans.”
She laughed. “It’s my money. I can do what I want with it.”
“No, you can’t.” I groped for the rule book, riffled the pages. “Here! Quote, ‘No player may borrow or lend money to another player.’” I smacked the page. “There it is.”
She stared at me with those wide eyes, her mouth frozen in wonderment, as if she was seeing ten falling stars at once. “You’re serious,” she said. “Look at you. You’re red.”
Tabby clapped. “He’s red! He’s red!”
“Yeah, I’m serious,” I tell her. “It’s right here. In the rules.”
“We break the rules all the time.” She spoke softly, as if a loud voice would shatter me.
“It’s not fair,” I said. “It’s not fair to the other players.”
“You’re the other player.”
“We should play right or not play at all.”
Mi-Su blinked. “Will, it doesn’t make any difference. I just lend money to BT to keep him in the game for a little longer.” Do you? I thought. Or is there some connection between this and the star-party kiss? “You know what’s going to happen. Sooner or later he’s going to lose. He always loses.” She leaned forward, enunciated: “ And. He. Doesn’t. Care. ”
All this time BT was lounging on the floor,his chin propped up on his hand, grinning. Tabby jumped on his back. “Yeah! You always lose! Looozer! Loozer!”
“Well,” I said, “maybe I care.”
Mi-Su frowned. “What’s
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