Solstice by Jane Redd Page B

have been taught one way of thinking. But I will teach you another way.
    I put the book back in the satchel; I’d find a place as soon as possible to dump the thing. I didn’t want to be caught with Rose’s words. She had died because she followed her feelings, and that would be my fate too if I didn’t learn to suppress mine.
    I opened my eyes and exhaled. Chalice was looking at me. “Sorry about your grandmother,” she said.
    “She knew she was breaking the rules.” I kept my voice hard, hoping to harden my heart as well, to push my emotions into a far corner. I couldn’t let Chalice know that I was sympathetic, and scared.
    “She was only following her beliefs,” Chalice said.
    “Sometimes a single person’s beliefs contradict what’s good for the whole.”
    Chalice released a sigh and climbed to her feet. “You sound like an ethics lesson.”
    Yes, I did. I shrugged for Chalice’s benefit.
    “What do you think happened to the man she loved?” Chalice asked, settling on her bed across from me. “Do you think he ever turned himself in?”
    “I doubt it.” I was suddenly tired. I didn’t want to be in the same room with the book anymore. I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t want Rose’s sad words echoing around in my mind, and I didn’t want to discuss it with Chalice, with anyone. We had been speaking quietly, but what if our room was being monitored? And what if Chalice decided to report me for keeping the book as long as I had?
    I looked away from Chalice, toward the dark window, thinking of Rose’s boyfriend. She hadn’t mentioned his name, so it would be impossible for me to research, even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t.
    Rose had a chance to conform. Everyone knew the rules—right from the first classroom until our end cycle. They protected all of us from ugly lives of crime, dishonesty, immorality. From repeating the past.
    My grandmother had deliberately broken the rules, and she wasn’t afraid. Did I have the same courage? I didn’t know.
    Chalice was watching me, her face pale in the dim light and the circles beneath her eyes looking even darker. “I’ll see if I can find something to burn the book with.”
    At least she agreed with me on that. As Chalice reached the door, I said, “Be careful.” The image of Sol being carried away was still haunting me.
    With Chalice gone, I stood before the window and stared out at the falling rain. I clutched the book in my hand, refusing to open it again. I didn’t want to think of Rose’s life of chaos and uncertainty, her world of constant death and the way she must have watched entire cities being destroyed.
    Behind me, the door slid open. “Back already?” I said as I turned.
    But it wasn’t Chalice. Two inspectors entered my room, eyes trained on the book in my hands like they’d seen it right through the door. One of the inspectors held an agitator rod.
    A flash of heat bolted through me, and it only took an instant to realize what had happened. It was as if I’d stepped outside my body and was looking down at my writhing limbs. My scream cut off when everything went dark.

Nine
    Cold and hard. The first sensations of feeling crept into my spine and brought me back to consciousness. Had I fallen off my bed? Tripped in the school yard? Then I remembered. The book. The agitator rod.
    I dragged my eyes open. My mouth tasted acrid, and my body felt as if I’d run nonstop for hours, leaving me with no strength to move. The room I was in was smaller than my dorm and had no windows. It glowed faintly with a pale yellow, as if the sun filtered in from somewhere, yet there was no heat and no lighting system.
    Like a prison. Had Rose felt like this? Alone, cold, in pain? I tried to block out her out, along with the unforgiveable rules she’d broken.
    Someone whispered my name, “Jez.”
    I turned my head toward the wall next to me in the direction of the sound. There was a sliver of light coming beneath it. Was it a door? I