Song of the Shaman by Annette Vendryes Leach Page A

birthday party with everyone except Andre.
    “What happened with Andre?”
    “He didn’t want to play with me.”
    “Why not?”
    “Andre likes to pile up blocks and then he throws them at you if you get too close. He doesn’t really play with anybody. But I knew that from before.”
    “Before when?”
    “Before when I was in heaven.”
    He was waving a washcloth in the water, the ripples swooshing back and forth in steady movements. Sheri paused, a bottle of lavender shampoo in her hand.
    “You remember when you were in heaven?”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “Really…” She squeezed out a dollop and began to lather his hair. “What were you doing up there?”
    He didn’t answer right away. When he did his tone was factual, as if it happened yesterday.
    “Waiting to jump. All my friends were waiting with me. Caleb and Ruby and Andre wanted to jump, too.”
    “Jump…from where to where?”
    “From heaven down to earth, to their moms. We had to choose our mother. I chose you, but I had to wait.”
    Sheri felt a tingling in the back of her scalp. She stopped scrubbing his hair. Suds slipped down his temple into his ear. Zig squinted at her.
    “What, Mom?”
    His expression was blank. She studied his face.
    “You had to wait?”
    “Because it wasn’t my turn. Sibo said no. He whispered to me very gently. If He said it louder, the whole world would shake!” Zig thumped his arms in the bathwater to demonstrate, causing a small tidal wave.
    “Who’s Sibo?”
    “The One who made everything you can see.”
    She dropped the shampoo on the floor. What was this? They had never talked about these things before. Maybe he picked it up from a kid at school? Heard it on TV? She pushed up her wet sleeves, sorting through the questions whirling in her mind.
    “What does this have to do with Andre?”
    “Well, Andre couldn’t decide who he wanted to be his mommy. Sibo lets you choose your own mom. He doesn’t tell you who to go to. You just say what you want and He might say, “Okay, good.” Or He’ll say, “Are you sure?” Andre wasn’t sure if he should jump, but Ruby was getting impatient. She wanted a mother to love. So because of Ruby, Andre jumped.”
    Sheri thought about the logic of his answer. Ruby and Andre were twins.
    “I guess they had to jump together.”
    Zig shook his head.
    “No. Ruby is Andre’s little sister. He had to jump first.”
    He was right. The twin’s mother told Sheri they were six minutes apart. Andre was the firstborn. Zig’s fingers and toes were getting waterlogged. Sheri was riveted.
    “So what did you do?”
    “I told Sibo I chose you.”
    “You could see me?”
    “Of course! I could see through everything. I saw you cooking in the kitchen. Not this kitchen, a different one. You were angry sometimes.”
    “I was angry? About what?”
    “You wanted a baby and you couldn’t get one. But you weren’t ready anyhow. So I just waited until you were ready!”
    Sheri looked down at her soggy hands on the edge of the bathtub. The same hands that shook five years ago as she unwrapped the pregnancy test stick in the bathroom stall at work, her fate held in its little plastic window.
    Please be blue
    little boy blue
    bluebells, blueberries
    blue heart bleeding
    She sat on the toilet seat and held the wand in a stream of urine between her knees. A blue smear slowly appeared. Liane burst into the ladies room searching for her. Had she forgotten about the internal meeting? No, she hadn’t forgotten.
    Zig dunked himself underwater, pinching his nose shut. Another question plagued her.
    “Did you see anyone else?”
    She immediately regretted asking. She hoped he hadn’t heard her. Zig emerged with his rubber duckie, squeezing it hard to suck bath water into its beak.
    “I saw my daddy.”
    Sheri fell silent. Zig sprayed streams of water out of the bird’s beak.
    “He had red light all around him and bouncing gold balls, bouncing high and low. I saw his arms moving really fast like