then this guy came in and Betty Jane flirted with him. . . .” My voice trailed off. Betty Jane might be good at making people think what she wanted them to, but I wasn’t.
“You were too lazy to work and I saw an opportunity,” said Betty Jane. She smiled at me and I swear I saw that sunflower shake and cackle. But she was half-right.
“Holly, how can I trust you when you’ve been keeping things from me?” said Milton.
“A few minor things,” I said. His face remained impassive. “She wouldn’t let me tell you.” I left out the part where I never tried.
“Holly—”
“Okay, but now I’m in a real mess,” I said.
“Let me think a moment,” Milton snapped.
For a normal person, snapping conveyed irritation. For Milton, it meant the whistle on the kettle was about to blow. I’d seen him this angry only once, when I brought coffee to a session and then accidentally kicked it over on his pink Oriental rug. Apparently, it was a family heirloom. I thought it was just old. Since then no liquid of any form made it out of the waiting room.
I sat on the couch breathing hard. I wanted Milton to be on my side and help me. I hated it when he was mad at me. It made me feel stretched across a middle that was more like a chasm.
“You have a real dilemma here,” said Milton. That brought me back.
“Never one to miss the obvious, are you?” I said. Tears threatened.
“So, what do you propose to do?”
“Well, if I knew, would I be here?” I crossed my arms and sat back.
“Holly, you have placed yourself in a serious predicament,” said Milton. His voice at least sounded kind.
“I didn’t. Betty Jane did. Now you have to fix it.” The tears
broke through. I pulled a tissue from the box on the end table and blew my nose.
“Let’s start with the most important question,” said Milton. “Do you want to do this?”
“No!” I said.
“No?” said Milton.
See what I mean? Never one to miss the obvious.
“Well, I did think about it, but only because I got a call from an agent yesterday. Turns out the director made an appointment for me.We’re supposed to meet tomorrow.”
“Holly!” said Ruffles. For the first time I felt a spark of anger toward her. So what if I lied about the call? So what if there was no meeting? I was tired of being so incapacitated. I wanted a better life. Why didn’t she? “Not like this, Holly,” said Ruffles. And with that, the spark went out and I felt deflated again.
“Well, it sounds like you’re committed,” said Milton.
“Not really. I can cancel. I mean, to even try to do this, I’d have to give Betty Jane control.” I didn’t have to tell Milton how frightening that thought was. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s not really something I can do. Right?” I whispered.
“Well, if it is something you want to do, then let’s talk about how you can.”
My jaw dropped and hung in an astonished gape.The entire Committee froze inside my head as if put on pause. Milton had just taken an unexpected turn off the road of no way , crossed maybe , and veered onto the road of let’s see if we can make this happen .
I inhaled and the Committee sat down. “Uh, okay. But, I mean, how? It is not like the Committee speaks on demand.You know that. They won’t even talk to you. Well, all right, some of them will, but she doesn’t talk to you unless she wants to. I’ve
never been able to make her do anything I want. And neither have you.” I was referring to the time when Milton, through me, had subtly suggested that Betty Jane ease off just a bit. In response, she eased off and out completely. At first we were all relieved. Her departure felt like having the bullying boss go on vacation. After a couple of days, though, everything went wrong. It reminded me of the summer I graduated from high school—a time of my life I didn’t want to relive. Ever. When Betty Jane returned declaring she’d been on a shopping trip, we welcomed her back with open arms.
“You were too lazy to work and I saw an opportunity,” said Betty Jane. She smiled at me and I swear I saw that sunflower shake and cackle. But she was half-right.
“Holly, how can I trust you when you’ve been keeping things from me?” said Milton.
“A few minor things,” I said. His face remained impassive. “She wouldn’t let me tell you.” I left out the part where I never tried.
“Holly—”
“Okay, but now I’m in a real mess,” I said.
“Let me think a moment,” Milton snapped.
For a normal person, snapping conveyed irritation. For Milton, it meant the whistle on the kettle was about to blow. I’d seen him this angry only once, when I brought coffee to a session and then accidentally kicked it over on his pink Oriental rug. Apparently, it was a family heirloom. I thought it was just old. Since then no liquid of any form made it out of the waiting room.
I sat on the couch breathing hard. I wanted Milton to be on my side and help me. I hated it when he was mad at me. It made me feel stretched across a middle that was more like a chasm.
“You have a real dilemma here,” said Milton. That brought me back.
“Never one to miss the obvious, are you?” I said. Tears threatened.
“So, what do you propose to do?”
“Well, if I knew, would I be here?” I crossed my arms and sat back.
“Holly, you have placed yourself in a serious predicament,” said Milton. His voice at least sounded kind.
“I didn’t. Betty Jane did. Now you have to fix it.” The tears
broke through. I pulled a tissue from the box on the end table and blew my nose.
“Let’s start with the most important question,” said Milton. “Do you want to do this?”
“No!” I said.
“No?” said Milton.
See what I mean? Never one to miss the obvious.
“Well, I did think about it, but only because I got a call from an agent yesterday. Turns out the director made an appointment for me.We’re supposed to meet tomorrow.”
“Holly!” said Ruffles. For the first time I felt a spark of anger toward her. So what if I lied about the call? So what if there was no meeting? I was tired of being so incapacitated. I wanted a better life. Why didn’t she? “Not like this, Holly,” said Ruffles. And with that, the spark went out and I felt deflated again.
“Well, it sounds like you’re committed,” said Milton.
“Not really. I can cancel. I mean, to even try to do this, I’d have to give Betty Jane control.” I didn’t have to tell Milton how frightening that thought was. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s not really something I can do. Right?” I whispered.
“Well, if it is something you want to do, then let’s talk about how you can.”
My jaw dropped and hung in an astonished gape.The entire Committee froze inside my head as if put on pause. Milton had just taken an unexpected turn off the road of no way , crossed maybe , and veered onto the road of let’s see if we can make this happen .
I inhaled and the Committee sat down. “Uh, okay. But, I mean, how? It is not like the Committee speaks on demand.You know that. They won’t even talk to you. Well, all right, some of them will, but she doesn’t talk to you unless she wants to. I’ve
never been able to make her do anything I want. And neither have you.” I was referring to the time when Milton, through me, had subtly suggested that Betty Jane ease off just a bit. In response, she eased off and out completely. At first we were all relieved. Her departure felt like having the bullying boss go on vacation. After a couple of days, though, everything went wrong. It reminded me of the summer I graduated from high school—a time of my life I didn’t want to relive. Ever. When Betty Jane returned declaring she’d been on a shopping trip, we welcomed her back with open arms.
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