do. Right, Rider?”
“ S-s-s-spose so.”
I was on the move, as we spoke, skulking around the AquaNet jungle until I grabbed hold of something I can only think of as pig fat. I had crawled through Morlson's ratty tangle of hair and emerged at her earlobe.
However, at th at very moment, Morlson rolled one hefty, snowy leg over the other, making her entire weight shift in elephantine slowness like a big rolling tidal wave with her head the last thing to move. And, when she did, she landed right on top of me flattening me behind her ear and the cotton pillowcase.
The toadmeister had me pinned.
THIRTEEN - Oh! Diary, Dear Diary: My Only True Friend
My Dear Diary Entry—Date: October 5, 2010
Dear Diary,
Things have been a little wacky lately, what, with dad dying last year and all and, now, this spider thing. I’d say I have a lot on my plate. My new friend Rider is so cute but how can I tell Ricki and Ja ne mie about him. Even though they are my BFFs, I still don’t think they would ever get this one. And, then, there's Justin. What's a girl to do.
Rider told me some things last night that I’d like to share with you, oh, diary, you who holds all of my secret and most personal thoughts. He said this, “Even spiders have rules.” He made me swear on the outermost edge of his web with my right foreleg touching it and my left foreleg held up in deference to the Big Spider of all Spiders, He Who Hangs Out Catching the Reeeally Big Stuff, the one, the only—Taran-TU-la. And he made me say the oath, my Spider Oath.
#1-I promise to never, ever dare demean or curse at a spider.
#2-I promise never to get angry at a spider.
#3-I promise to promote spider ways all the days of my life and to never, ever crush a spider out of fear or anger.
Really, Rider made me swear to the first two. I made up the third one. I figured we spiders needed to stick together. Rider explained that screaming can disable a spider’s abilities for an indefinite amount of time. It’s like we freeze up. And, anger can sadden a spider to the point of not eating--ultimately, starving themselves to death.
Cursing at them, and here's where I'm unclear, will either have a dastardly effect on the curse-er or the curse-ee.
Then he got all nostalgic and said, he remembered riding on his mother’s back, only a teensy weensy baby spider at the time, while she explained all the ways of spiders—about web-building, capturing and eating insects and bugs, and then the often-forgot-about two mystical rules relating to spider life.
So, after hearing about this oath, I decided to do a little spider research. See, up to now, I’d been pretty distracted about becoming a spider and hadn’t thought to think that I might need to brush up on my knowledge of spiders. Understandable, I’d say.
Any who.
I pulled down all of these photos (see inserted photos below) and was amazed at how alike we spiders are to we human beings. Don’t be scared. These photos won’t bite!
So. This one, here on the left is basic spider anatomy showing some internal organs.
You can see some additional information in more colorful detail with this one, on the right. I just really think the bright colors of this one are beautiful. Don’t you?
This third one, here, is a close-up photo of my butt as a spider. Those little prongy deals we call spinnerets and that’s where the silk goes zinging out.
Pretty cool, huh? It’s a hairy butt, wouldn’t you agree? Of course you do.
Did I ever think in a million zillion years I would be telling somebody this. No. Not. EvER.
Now. A word about the spider’s oath. You can yell at your cat when she’s bad just never at spiders because I think it’s pretty common knowledge that spiders are never bad.
So. Anywho.
Hmm. What else. Oh, mom doesn’t like spiders so much.
I guess she got bit once when I was a itty-bitty human baby a long, long time ago in a galaxy not so far away! The deviant spider
“ S-s-s-spose so.”
I was on the move, as we spoke, skulking around the AquaNet jungle until I grabbed hold of something I can only think of as pig fat. I had crawled through Morlson's ratty tangle of hair and emerged at her earlobe.
However, at th at very moment, Morlson rolled one hefty, snowy leg over the other, making her entire weight shift in elephantine slowness like a big rolling tidal wave with her head the last thing to move. And, when she did, she landed right on top of me flattening me behind her ear and the cotton pillowcase.
The toadmeister had me pinned.
THIRTEEN - Oh! Diary, Dear Diary: My Only True Friend
My Dear Diary Entry—Date: October 5, 2010
Dear Diary,
Things have been a little wacky lately, what, with dad dying last year and all and, now, this spider thing. I’d say I have a lot on my plate. My new friend Rider is so cute but how can I tell Ricki and Ja ne mie about him. Even though they are my BFFs, I still don’t think they would ever get this one. And, then, there's Justin. What's a girl to do.
Rider told me some things last night that I’d like to share with you, oh, diary, you who holds all of my secret and most personal thoughts. He said this, “Even spiders have rules.” He made me swear on the outermost edge of his web with my right foreleg touching it and my left foreleg held up in deference to the Big Spider of all Spiders, He Who Hangs Out Catching the Reeeally Big Stuff, the one, the only—Taran-TU-la. And he made me say the oath, my Spider Oath.
#1-I promise to never, ever dare demean or curse at a spider.
#2-I promise never to get angry at a spider.
#3-I promise to promote spider ways all the days of my life and to never, ever crush a spider out of fear or anger.
Really, Rider made me swear to the first two. I made up the third one. I figured we spiders needed to stick together. Rider explained that screaming can disable a spider’s abilities for an indefinite amount of time. It’s like we freeze up. And, anger can sadden a spider to the point of not eating--ultimately, starving themselves to death.
Cursing at them, and here's where I'm unclear, will either have a dastardly effect on the curse-er or the curse-ee.
Then he got all nostalgic and said, he remembered riding on his mother’s back, only a teensy weensy baby spider at the time, while she explained all the ways of spiders—about web-building, capturing and eating insects and bugs, and then the often-forgot-about two mystical rules relating to spider life.
So, after hearing about this oath, I decided to do a little spider research. See, up to now, I’d been pretty distracted about becoming a spider and hadn’t thought to think that I might need to brush up on my knowledge of spiders. Understandable, I’d say.
Any who.
I pulled down all of these photos (see inserted photos below) and was amazed at how alike we spiders are to we human beings. Don’t be scared. These photos won’t bite!
So. This one, here on the left is basic spider anatomy showing some internal organs.
You can see some additional information in more colorful detail with this one, on the right. I just really think the bright colors of this one are beautiful. Don’t you?
This third one, here, is a close-up photo of my butt as a spider. Those little prongy deals we call spinnerets and that’s where the silk goes zinging out.
Pretty cool, huh? It’s a hairy butt, wouldn’t you agree? Of course you do.
Did I ever think in a million zillion years I would be telling somebody this. No. Not. EvER.
Now. A word about the spider’s oath. You can yell at your cat when she’s bad just never at spiders because I think it’s pretty common knowledge that spiders are never bad.
So. Anywho.
Hmm. What else. Oh, mom doesn’t like spiders so much.
I guess she got bit once when I was a itty-bitty human baby a long, long time ago in a galaxy not so far away! The deviant spider
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