Starwalker (Starborn 1) (Sci-Fi Fantasy Romance) by P. Jameson Page A

need anyone to ease me. I can do that myself—been doing it for a thousand years.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “I believe I should have killed you without asking questions.”
    The wren’s mouth hung open and somehow she knew she’d cut him deeply. And maybe she was evil inside, but it made her happy to know she’d hurt him as he’d hurt her.
    “You… you can’t mean that.”
    “I never say things I don’t mean. It’s a waste of time.”
    Just like hope.
    She was what she was. Her life was her life. There was no changing it. No Heartbeat, no friend, no enemy would alter Canna’s circumstances.
    But she’d survive this heartache. Exhale it like a poison gas, and be thankful she’d only felt fond feelings for a moment, on the inhale.
    ***
    Something was wrong. So very wrong. Breckken knew his maiden was rough around the edges, a thorny rose. He knew their first meeting would be a bit unorthodox. But he’d hoped she would at least feel something for him. Even if it was just curiosity.
    I love you . Breckken ached with the need to tell her. Their situation wasn’t normal. He wasn’t coming to her with a newly beating heart. It wasn’t mere attraction for him. As she’d grown over the years, so had his feelings for her. The years of separation had taken their toll on him, but they’d also given him love so strong, he could hardly bear to keep it in.
    But he couldn’t say it. She didn’t know him. Didn’t feel for him. She couldn’t understand.
    I love you so much, my Canna . I want to hold you so fucking badly. His limbs shook from the effort of restraining himself. He wanted to shelter her in his embrace. Growl at whatever made her weep. Fight it back until she was herself again.
    Was she scared of this union? Could that be it? She was the bravest maiden he knew, so he’d never considered it.
    “Perhaps…” He cleared his throat to rid it of the sound of devastation. “Perhaps you need time to think—”
    “You are to leave my property immediately. If I ever see you again, I will kill you without thought.”
    He wanted to drop to his knees and beg her to want him back. She’d been his whole life for a thousand years.
    But he couldn’t move. Could barely breathe.
    Her face was so cold. Hard. She was so much like the ice. But he knew it wasn’t real. Only seconds ago she’d cried tears. She’d looked confused and pained. She’d looked… small, for the first time ever. Even as a childmaiden she’d appeared larger than life. But moments ago she’d seemed fragile. Spun glass needing to be handled with the utmost care.
    “Canna…”
    She calmly bent and retrieved the ice arrow from the cold ground, twirling it like a baton through her slender fingers while she eyed him.
    “You would murder your own Heartbeat?” he whispered.
    She raised one blond eyebrow. “You think I won’t? Guess you don’t know me as well as you thought.”
    He was a man ripped apart in that moment. She cared nothing for him. Not even enough to spare herself the physical pain she would endure with the death of her mate. Maybe she wasn’t capable of love. He’d always thought once they met and he could show her what it felt like to be cherished and never alone… He’d thought it would be enough.
    But maybe he was wrong. Perhaps she couldn’t be fixed. Maybe a thousand years of being hated had done too much damage.
    Breckken saw all the things he should’ve done different. He’d waited too long. He should’ve ignored fate and came to her sooner.
    He fisted his desperate hands. His maiden, within reach, but he couldn’t have her. Couldn’t help her. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall. Couldn’t let her see.
    My Cannalise .
    He needed to make her understand.
    “But you are… everything to me,” he said on a shaky exhale. “How can you not even give us a chance?”
    She shrugged casually. “Easy. Don’t need you. You should have tried a few years ago. Maybe then… but no,