that!”
I
watch him run down the road and around the corner towards the beach before
closing the door behind me.
“ Hart !” Eleanor screams at me the
following evening. “I know you’re hiding something. You’re a horrible liar.
Just tell me and save us both a lot of time.”
I
flip over onto my stomach and prop the cushion underneath my elbows. Eleanor is
lying on her back next to me as close to the fire as she can get without
catching herself alight. I look down into her face and wink just to annoy her.
She sighs dramatically then hoists herself up so she can put another log of
wood on the fire.
“There’s
nothing to tell, Nor,” I laugh when I see that she’s thrown the wood on top of
the flames a little harder than was necessary. “I just met this guy at The Sea
Shack, and we’ve decided to hang out a bit.”
She
spins around on her knees and presses her lips together to stop herself from
smiling.
“As
friends, Nor. Just friends.”
Her
shoulders slump in disappointment. “But why just friends?” she sighs. “If he’s
single, and you’re single, then why not?”
I
sit up and pick at a loose thread on the rug underneath us.
“Am
I single, though?” I mumble, “I mean, I didn’t actually break up with David
before I left.”
Eleanor
is silent for a moment and then takes a deep breath.
“Hart,
I didn’t want to say anything when you were with David because you know, if
you’re happy then who am I to judge? But you’re not with him now, so I’m going
to just say it.”
“Just
say what?” I say, looking up to meet her eyes. Her ponytail has half come out,
and I want to reach over and fix it for her.
“He
wasn’t the right guy for you,” she says quickly. “You acted weird around him.
It was like you were pretending to be someone else all the time. And every time
I visited you it had gotten worse, like you were less and less yourself.”
I
stare at her for a second, too stunned to say anything. She looks awkward, like
she thinks she’s said too much.
“David’s
not a bad guy,” I say quietly. “I mean, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
He’s a nightmare on holidays, and he treats waiters really badly, but he’s not
a bad guy.”
Eleanor’s
eyes are suddenly wide and full of concern. She reaches over and places a hand
over mine.
“Hart,”
she says softly, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that when I saw the
two of you together it was like he didn’t ‘get you’. You know what I mean?”
I
do. But I don’t feel like talking about it.
“Well,”
I say briskly, as I stand up and start packing up the sushi boxes from the
coffee table. “It’s irrelevant now anyway. I’m here, and he’s there. So that’s
that.”
Eleanor
is quiet for a moment and then her face suddenly splits into a wide grin.
“How
about an ice cream?” she says looking down at her watch. “We’ve got half an
hour before The Sea Shack closes.”
I
look out the window at the rain that’s hitting the house sideways then back to
Eleanor’s hopeful face.
“Ice
cream?” I smile, allowing the tension of the last few minutes to evaporate.
“I’m in.”
We
stand at the open front door laughing at each other from underneath the hoods
of our raincoats. A sheet of water is falling from the edge of the roof, and
the wind has picked up again, sending leaves spiraling around the front yard.
Somewhere above us a streak of lightning momentarily lights up the sky, and we
both flinch, waiting for the thunder that we know is coming next.
“One…
two… three!” Eleanor shouts as she leaps out of the door and makes a run for
her car. I can see her cursing when she can’t find her keys in the front pocket
of her raincoat.
I
eye her from the safety of the verandah until I see her open the car the door
and throw herself inside. By the time I’m sitting beside her, my face cold and
wet and my fingers numb, we’re both laughing hysterically again. It feels good
to laugh like
I
watch him run down the road and around the corner towards the beach before
closing the door behind me.
“ Hart !” Eleanor screams at me the
following evening. “I know you’re hiding something. You’re a horrible liar.
Just tell me and save us both a lot of time.”
I
flip over onto my stomach and prop the cushion underneath my elbows. Eleanor is
lying on her back next to me as close to the fire as she can get without
catching herself alight. I look down into her face and wink just to annoy her.
She sighs dramatically then hoists herself up so she can put another log of
wood on the fire.
“There’s
nothing to tell, Nor,” I laugh when I see that she’s thrown the wood on top of
the flames a little harder than was necessary. “I just met this guy at The Sea
Shack, and we’ve decided to hang out a bit.”
She
spins around on her knees and presses her lips together to stop herself from
smiling.
“As
friends, Nor. Just friends.”
Her
shoulders slump in disappointment. “But why just friends?” she sighs. “If he’s
single, and you’re single, then why not?”
I
sit up and pick at a loose thread on the rug underneath us.
“Am
I single, though?” I mumble, “I mean, I didn’t actually break up with David
before I left.”
Eleanor
is silent for a moment and then takes a deep breath.
“Hart,
I didn’t want to say anything when you were with David because you know, if
you’re happy then who am I to judge? But you’re not with him now, so I’m going
to just say it.”
“Just
say what?” I say, looking up to meet her eyes. Her ponytail has half come out,
and I want to reach over and fix it for her.
“He
wasn’t the right guy for you,” she says quickly. “You acted weird around him.
It was like you were pretending to be someone else all the time. And every time
I visited you it had gotten worse, like you were less and less yourself.”
I
stare at her for a second, too stunned to say anything. She looks awkward, like
she thinks she’s said too much.
“David’s
not a bad guy,” I say quietly. “I mean, he can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
He’s a nightmare on holidays, and he treats waiters really badly, but he’s not
a bad guy.”
Eleanor’s
eyes are suddenly wide and full of concern. She reaches over and places a hand
over mine.
“Hart,”
she says softly, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that when I saw the
two of you together it was like he didn’t ‘get you’. You know what I mean?”
I
do. But I don’t feel like talking about it.
“Well,”
I say briskly, as I stand up and start packing up the sushi boxes from the
coffee table. “It’s irrelevant now anyway. I’m here, and he’s there. So that’s
that.”
Eleanor
is quiet for a moment and then her face suddenly splits into a wide grin.
“How
about an ice cream?” she says looking down at her watch. “We’ve got half an
hour before The Sea Shack closes.”
I
look out the window at the rain that’s hitting the house sideways then back to
Eleanor’s hopeful face.
“Ice
cream?” I smile, allowing the tension of the last few minutes to evaporate.
“I’m in.”
We
stand at the open front door laughing at each other from underneath the hoods
of our raincoats. A sheet of water is falling from the edge of the roof, and
the wind has picked up again, sending leaves spiraling around the front yard.
Somewhere above us a streak of lightning momentarily lights up the sky, and we
both flinch, waiting for the thunder that we know is coming next.
“One…
two… three!” Eleanor shouts as she leaps out of the door and makes a run for
her car. I can see her cursing when she can’t find her keys in the front pocket
of her raincoat.
I
eye her from the safety of the verandah until I see her open the car the door
and throw herself inside. By the time I’m sitting beside her, my face cold and
wet and my fingers numb, we’re both laughing hysterically again. It feels good
to laugh like
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