Flub!
Flop!
Flunk!
Stink Moody had to take a test. A super science test. A solar system test. He had to learn all the planets . . . by tomorrow!
Stink went to find his big sister. He sure hoped Judy wasn’t in a mood. If Judy was moody, Stink hoped it was a help-your-little-brother-study-for-his-test mood.
There were nine whole planets, and Stink only knew about one. The one in the
S
encyclopedia: Saturn. You might even say Stink was a Super Saturn Expert.
Saturn had rings and moons and was made of gas (hardee-har-har). Saturn could float like an ice cube in a giant’s bathtub (if you just happened to know any giants). Saturn could spin so fast, it looked flat as a silver-dollar pancake, Stink’s favorite food on Earth-not-Saturn.
One year on Saturn took 29 Earth years. If Stink was 7 on Saturn, that would make him 203 years old on Earth! Way older than Judy!
Stink found Judy in her room, on her top bunk, making a picture out of Already-Been-Chewed gum.
“What’s that?” Stink asked.
“It’s a Venus flytrap made out of ABC gum,” said Judy.
“You know what would be even cooler?”
“What?” Judy asked.
“A picture of Saturn made out of ABC gum,” said Stink.
“Who cares about Saturn?”
“Me,” said Stink. “But now I have to care about eight other planets, too.”
“Huh?” Judy looked up from her ABC-gum art.
Stink held up his science book. “I have a test tomorrow. A big fat test on the planets. Will you help me study?”
“No way, Stinkerbell,” said Judy. “Can’t you see? I’m way busy.”
“But you’re so smart,” said Stink, buttering her up.
“That’s not what you said when I had to get a math tutor.”
“But you’ve been to second grade, right?”
“Stink, I’ve been to college!”
“See? I need somebody super smart, smarter than second grade. I need somebody college-smart to quiz me.”
“Do I get to boss you around?”
“Sure,” said Stink.
“Do I get to yell ‘Hardee-har-har’ if you flunk?”
“I’m not going to flunk,” said Stink, “because you, my super-smart sister, are going to help me.” He pushed the science book over to Judy.
Judy flipped through the book. “Name the nine planets.”
“Too hard,” said Stink.
“You have to know the names of the planets. Mrs. D. is going to ask that for sure. Think, Stink.”
Stink closed his eyes. “Saturn . . . Jupiter . . . Earth . . . Pluto, and that one that comes before Pluto.”
“Stink, good thing you have me, your brainy big sister, to teach you. My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas.”
“I thought Dad was making us spaghetti.”
“No, Stink. That’s how you remember the planets. The first letter of each word in the sentence stands for a planet. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.”
“My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas!” said Stink.
“Your very excellent
father
is just about to serve spaghetti,” said Dad, coming into Judy’s room. “C’mon, you two. Time for dinner.”
“I was just teaching Stink how to remember the planets,” said Judy. “Like ROY G. BIV helps you remember all the colors of the rainbow. Mr. Todd says it’s called a moronic.”
“I think the word is
mnemonic,
” said Dad.
“Who thought that up?” said Judy.
“Some
moron,
” said Stink. He and Judy cracked up all the way to the dinner table.
The next day after school, Stink sat on his race-car bed. He stared at the page with all the Pluto questions. He stared at the big fat red
X,
as big as the Great White Spot on Saturn.
Stink wished he could zoom away on that car bed. Down the stairs and out of the house and up the road and into outer space. He wished his race-car bed would rocket him all the way to the rings of Saturn.
He might as well move to another planet. Anywhere but Pluto.
“What’s wrong?” Judy asked when she saw his sour-ball face.
Stink held up his test. He
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